Selena Gomez And Justin Bieber Are Getting In Some Non-Breakup Space

If this were an episode of Friends, it would NOT be okay for Justin Bieber to start sticking his Canadian bacon in a non-Selena Gomez oven, but I’m sure that won’t stop him. I guess couples counseling isn’t working, because sources say Justin and Selena have been getting into little arguments, and things aren’t as maple syrup-y sweet as it was when they were attending 24/7 Sunday School. The two have decided to take some time away from each other.

E! News says multiple snitches are saying Selena and the Biebz are giving each other space, but I don’t think they get what space means. One source says they are still talking all the time:

“They were having a lot of little disagreements recently and one fight in particular blew up and caused them to decide to ‘break up,’ however, they’ve been in contact the entire time and their feelings for each other have not changed.”

The same snitch says we shouldn’t congratulate Selena quite yet:

“They will absolutely get back together and they are not over, but they both need some time away from each other.”

A different source says they haven’t seen each other since before Justin’s birthday on March 1. I’m just glad they said his birthday was March 1 because Selena Instagrammed this the other day, and I was too lazy to figure out who she was trying to congratulate:

Way to make it all about YOU, Selena! Eh, that’s probably because Justin makes it all about him the 364 remaining days of the year anyway.

Another source says that Selena is trying to repair things with her mom, who isn’t happy about her being back with Biebs. But we aren’t getting to the real loser in this whole scenario: Pastor Perky Pecs! Who is going to tend to him and his Christian Scientology warehouse if his prized disciples aren’t there to plop into a pew four times a weekend??



  1. And paradoxically leaving the cult usually is much more difficult than stop using drugs.

  2. Two toxic people that will never break apart because they click.

  3. Gary Burnaska

    How much longer until D Listed going to finally post the story of Selena walking in on that pastors cock miraculously stuck up Justin’s Ass?

  4. MFleurette

    Two cokeheads fight over stash. Get mad. Go to respective corners to binge alone. Stash runs out. Two cokeheads reunite. True love reigns supreme.

  5. Catherine

    He looked hot in this film.

  6. Craigypants

    Geez these SOURCES speak another language.
    She isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. https://uploads.disquscdn.c

  7. Selena should be ashamed of herself for coming back to this pubescent pissant after having access to the Weeknd’s drug connects. If she’s smart (spoiler: obviously not), she still has him on speed dial for a quick fix when the toddler throws a tantrum.

  8. BellaDonnaSleeps

    I was having Justin and Britney flashbacks reading all that! I’m old.

  9. SidewalkTalk

    tbh being in a position of Beaver not being able to quit you, would fuck anyone up!

  10. pitchshifty

    Broadchurch reps!

  11. pitchshifty

    SELENA! You are young, very rich, super pretty, and have the access and reach to contact pretty much anyone on the planet that you might be interested in. WHY are you wasting your time and energy on this level-10 fuckboy who now has the added bonus of being enmeshed in an actual cult? Please love yourself, evaluate your options and do better.

  12. dr. playa: dire twat

    I have drugged your water supply 😀 Remember to take a smoke break when the walls start melting.

    (did you want a serious answer tho, cause I have one but I didn’t want to be all humble braggy)

  13. That’s very exciting news about america’s favorite couple.

  14. youlooklikelindaevangelista

    Why are all of your posts so amazing? I just…I need to know!

  15. Ms.BovineJoni

    They just take every bit of goodwill they have and shit all over it.

  16. Ugh, these two.



    Miss Havisham, is that you?

  18. It’s so cute to see the toddlers trying to consciously uncouple just like grown-ups.

  19. ButterscotchKrimpet

    For someone who makes a big deal about being 25, she certainly acts like a 14 year old.

  20. Galaxy_Scribe

    Because nothing says true love like Round 37 of a dysfunctional train wreck

    Maybe she got tired of him paying all his dad’s bills


  21. dr. playa: dire twat

    Is it “washed up Disney hos” day on the D? What’s next, Miley Cyrus?

    By the way, Selena… Justin is sucking off pastor Carl. Move on, gurl.

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