Dakota Johnson Had To Teach Jamie Dornan How To Take Her Underwear Off

Irish vulgarity translator Jamie Dornan went on Conan to sell the thankfully last film in the Fifty Shades of This Isn’t Doing Much For Making Kink Look Fun trilogy. Because you’ve got to have a gimmick, the prettiest serial killer in existence (The Fall made me understand why Ted Bundy had groupies) had a story about taking off co-star Dakota Johnson’s panties. I’m pretty sure this is the same sort of story Clark Gable told about Vivian Leigh’s drawers on Tonight Starring Steve Allen.

Jamie implied that Dakota was unimpressed with how he took off her underwear while they were filming a scene during the first flick. Seeing as these two have the fiery chemistry of house cats and water, he must have just sighed and dutifully yanked down her underwear with all the finesse of your six-year-old rampaging through their wrapped gifts at Christmas. Dakota slowed his roll, according to UsWeekly.

“I think Dakota would be quicker to give me a note than a director,” he told the late-night host. “I guess there’s a sexy way to take off a girl’s underwear.”

Judging from their appearances together, one would think the only note Dakota would be passing Jamie would read “Stay away from me.” But Anastasia WhateverTheFanFic gave it a go.

He then shared the advice: “There’s a more delicate and sensual way to do it, which is thumbs into the side … and then you sort of shimmy it down.”

Watch Jamie giving a visual demonstration for Conan and his audience below. Warning: Watching Conan O’Brien mime taking a woman’s panties down with his face clenched and looking like a witch checking her familiar for ringworm might make you moist.

Pic: YouTube


  1. We don’t believe her because her entire life is lies for the sake of attention and plot lines. Not rape culture, reality culture.

  2. What did he do to my baby Cillian???

  3. Follows her to her mom,pulls out her tampon and fucks hee while she’s on her period.it was supposed to be sexy? I was repulsed.

  4. The Snark Squad’s take on shit trilogy is hilarious also. Must check out 50 Shades of Beige.

  5. MickeyHolland

    Thank you for validating my sentiments. I seriously thought there was something wrong with me, because everyone else seems to be in perpetual awe af these two.

  6. I never realized that was him!

  7. Jesus is coming..RUN!

    Cultural Marxism?

  8. Jesus is coming..RUN!

    So glad this shit show is over. He’s still a gorgeous man and he’s so good in The Fall.

  9. You said it better than I can.

  10. Lefemmenikita

    You gave him a good life.

    He is now over the rainbow bridge and at peace.

  11. 💚ℱḯⅾⅾℓεÐεℯÐ℮℮💚


  12. Uptown James

    this looks like the trailer that Divine lived in with her mentally retarded Mother, in the film, “Pink Flamingos.” Her mother lived in a playpen in the living room of the trailer.


  13. Uptown James

    I wanna see/hear him carry on in an interview about how he loves women and he can’t stop thinking “About va-HEE-na. Is that how you say it?”

  14. Queen Mab of the Unseelie

    You’re welcome.

  15. Her parents were basic C actors at best. She seems quite nice as a person but she’s another nepotism free career lottery winner. No harm, no foul.

  16. I hated Broadchurch only because there never seems to be justice for the victims in the end. The acting was very good.

  17. He barely spoke in the Fall. Silence is a good feature for him.

  18. They are both sexless cardboard.

  19. ShiroKabocha

    I liked him in The Fall but other than that, he’s kind of a tit. I do not find him attractive at all.

  20. These “actors” are insufferable and so is the shit they’re trying to push.

  21. After watching “the fall” I disliked him, after I saw his interview for the first 50 i disliked him some more, then 2 more movies came out…and I think i full on hate the sight of his face. I think he’s a talentless dud…and I used to find him mildly attractive but now…i just want to punch him in the face.


  22. ThenTheLordMadeYolettie

    Aww I want one, but only if it stays that size!

  23. Who ever thought this person could act? She is beyond oatmeal boring, no talent, nepotism at its’ worst. I hope she slinks away and does dinner theater in Akron.

  24. CaliCheeseSucks

    Okay, just checking 🙂 Thank you Queen Mab 🙂

  25. And that’s the hottest *cough* thing ever about fifty shades of meh.

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