Open Post: Hosted By Emma Roberts’ Tragic Lloyd Christmas Bangs

If you happen to see Emma Thompson, Emma Bunton, Emma Stone or any other famous Emma strolling into Lena Dunham’s hair salon (aka Superfuglycuts), immediately scream at their asses to think of their hair and to not do it. Because it seems like all of the famous Emmas are getting their bangs butchered as they though they were a toddler whose drunk, lazy mom cut her hair with rusty pruning shears (or whose mom really hates her and wants her to get made fun of at school). First Emma Watson got baby bangs, and now Emma Roberts is out there looking like a Vulcan-ized white Cleopatra. Baby bangs: it’s an emmademic!

Emma’s on-and-off-again fiance/boyfriend/whatever Evan Peters was nominated for Best Actor in a Movie/Miniseries (for American Horror Story: Cult) at last night’s Critics’ Choice Awards. Evan may have lost to Ewan McGregor for Fargo, but his fiancee/girlfriend/whatever unofficially won an award For Most Tragic Fringe Job thanks to that American Horror Story: Bangs shit terrorizing her forehead. Maybe Emma was feeling charitable last night and wanted to give her haters some easy ammunition by doing her hair like the Queen of the Trash People?

It’s obvious that Emma’s bangs are of the clip-on kind, and so I feel sorry for the bottomless hula girl doll whose grass skirt was stolen from her and slapped on Emma’s head. But if Emma really did do that to her hair for real, I shouldn’t make fun of her. I mean, it’s better that she’s fucking up her bangs instead of fucking up her boyfriend.



  1. Your dominatrix training is going to come in handy.

  2. JalapenoJarvis

    Aw, from what I hear about her those bangs couldn’t have happened to a nicer gal.

  3. Unstable Moron Calimaria Dirk

    Yes, it does and please do. ((Hugs)). It will get better.

  4. Well, it isn’t as if the shitgibbon uses his.

  5. ConcepcionImmaculadaPantalones

    It is the school that all future fosters will attend for elementary. “Putting the fear of pants” into people is kind of a funny thing to picture in one’s head – the crowd of pants-less people huddled together in a corner and some weeping openly when they hear me yelling as I walk down the hall towards the basement room they’re in. 😉


    I believe she had a big cancerous growth in her throat which was removed. I think the tits are fine. Yes, they are gone.


    Nah, he isn’t but don’t let those facts change your hate boner.

  8. chompybeaver

    Happening now in the NYT: Male Models Say Mario Testino and Bruce Weber Sexually Exploited Them.

  9. Encourage Jr to study hard, and then look outside the US for college.

  10. THIS. I cannot understand how the most powerful person in our government is not mentally evaluated as part ot the fitness for office, physical exam. Is the brain not a physical organ of the body? Fuck.

  11. Marble Head

    Thanks for link! I missed the post, waking up out of a fog. It’s snowing here. Thanks for being so kind!

  12. Ca-ca-Caroline

    Sista 👌

  13. omg she sounds like my friend’s sister… i had to unfollow her on fb

  14. turtle dove

    Amen sister (or brother?)

  15. Trash Panda

    ALSO…it’s MLK Weekend! Don Lemon is burning the patriarchy at the stake. There is cause for rejoicing!!

  16. Trash Panda

    I really want her to pull herself together and have a good life.

  17. Marble Head

    Is there a link? Greatly appreciated.

  18. Sneaky pantsuit

    Oh, that’s sweet! Thank-you!

  19. louise_brooks

    It was flat it was just small. They were both Vizio and they both just stopped working one day. I think the really old one I bought in 2008 (before I went back to school and got really poor LOL) was a 32″ or 36″. One day in early 2011 it just was like, “Peace out, bitches! *poof*” and just completely shut down one day. So we were using the backup one that I bought for my bedroom, so it was a tiny one. The screen just went out on it. We had sound and no picture.

    Part of me was like, “I’m gonna fix it!” Then I was like, “WTF am I doing? This thing is almost 10 years old, we have money again and have needed a new tv for a while. Just go buy one.” It feels like we jumped ahead in time. LMAO

  20. Just watched the Lindsay interview on Wendy….. She seems sober and dare I say really likeable.

  21. louise_brooks

    That is so completely disgusting. FB suggested a group that posts nothing but pimple vids and pics. The thought literally makes me start gagging.

  22. Ola Horitas, Don’t read the news it’s just depressing. Here’s Cher drinking from a sippy cup instead.

  23. Come on. You can’t be that square. You’re on DListed!

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