Chris Brown Could Face Criminal Charges For Having A Pet Monkey

Last month, Chris Brown broke the Parental Hierarchy of Pet Giving by buying his 3-year-old daughter Royalty a monkey. After the internet called him a dumbass for giving a child a pet monkey, he swore the animal – named Fijiwas his. The city of Los Angeles had a real problem with Chris’ monkey ownership. They’re pissed because Chris didn’t have a permit for little Fiji.

TMZ says that the California Department of Fish and Wildlife opened an investigation after getting several tips. Chris voluntarily surrendered Fiji to authorities before they could come raid his house. Having an exotic pet sans permit is a major no-no, and so Chris could be slapped with a misdemeanor charge of owning a restricted species without a permit. Fiji’s file has been turned over to the Los Angeles City Attorney. If Chris is found guilty, he could face up to six months in jail.

TMZ spoke to Chris’ lawyer Mark Geragos, who brushed it all off by calling the situation “absurd,” and implied the City Attorney has better, less petty things to spend taxpayer money on. Mark doesn’t seem to understand that this situation might be the universe’s sneaky way of forcing Chris Brown to take real, actual responsibility for his shitty actions. Monkeys are super smart, and some know sign language. I hope Fiji takes the stand and signs, “Living with Chris Brown was like suffering for 10 monkey lifetimes. Throw the book at him!



  1. ThenTheLordMadeYolettie

    Honestly, crackheads often are. Its like they have special crackie powers.

  2. ThenTheLordMadeYolettie

    Kinda like oj.. No jail time and hasn’t paid shit for killing Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman but went to jail for stealing his own memorabilia?

  3. This absolute moron. Having a monkey around a three year old is a no-no in itself. It’s a wild animal you asshole. They could really hurt eachother and it’s not going to end up in the favour of your child.

  4. They don’t belong in diapers, that is for sure!!

  5. I loathe this ignorant, woman abusing piece of shit. I wish little
    Fiji had burnt his house down. Monkeys don’t play, I have heard they have started fires and other mayhem. They are not pets!

  6. saraphim_deeznutz

    He surrendered it before his house was raided. My guess is he was scared shitless the authorities would find a lot of other questionable things?

  7. Craigypants

    Oh jesus christ. He is a lost cause. Not much up top is there?

  8. Not trying to question The Dlisted scientific research team but are you sure is not the Monkey who could face criminal charges for having Chris Brown as a pet?

  9. Why don’t they offer him a venomous snake that he has to allow to roam freely around his bedroom when his daughter isn’t home

  10. Seriously, if I looked at a cop sideways, I’d get thrown in for 10 years. This shit is nuts. He should have been thrown away in jail right now for the beating incident.

  11. QueenAnne Guido

    That poor monkey No living thing deserves Fisty

  12. The irony that he can regularly beat people up and threaten them but it might be the monkey that does him in

  13. svetlanabanana

    If having a monkey is what finally lands Chris Brown in jail I’m gonna scream.
    That said, having exotic pets is bullcrap. Just get a dog. Wild animals are wild animals. If you appreciate them donate to a sanctuary, don’t make them live in your home.

  14. Ca-ca-Caroline

    Same. If it’s too smart, it ain’t a pet

  15. Ca-ca-Caroline

    I kind of assumed the same. I kind of thought rich idiots had people around them constantly covering for their messes ?

  16. MayorChapStick76

    I’m kind of surprised he gave the monkey up so willingly. He seems like he’d hold the monkey hostage or something.

  17. They better get the monkey out of the house before it badly injures his daughter. And then get the daughter out of the house and into the care of someone fit to parent.

  18. Spaz de la Whoreta

    They probably all reported him.

  19. It must be hard for these idiots to think about cause and effect.

  20. saraphim_deeznutz

    I really think that breeder needs to be thrown under the bus as well. Clearly it was just for profit and not any thought of welfare for the animal. Glad that poor baby is in better hands!

  21. Come on 2018, we’re counting on you to do one thing right!

  22. ShiroKabocha

    I hope to god he goes to jail. Or better yet, put the animal traffickers in jail. Wild animals aren’t pets.

    May that monkey go to wildlife rehab and go on to have a great life.

  23. Lol like I said below, I think it was a very bored and unhappy creature. I don’t hate them but I sure as fuck don’t want one!

  24. I’m sure this was one very unhappy/bored monkey and that’s why it was so bratty. It’s not like the internet was around to get tips on caring for it, we live in a very cold climate and the person I knew who had it was in first grade. Her parents were rich and bought her a monkey cause she wanted one. They did give it to someone eventually who hopefully cared for it better.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *