Now THAT’s a gig to bring any resume to the next level. Queerty was kind enough to introduce us to Italy’s Domenico Vaccaro. He’s an acrobat and pole dancer who obviously can’t resist a holiday theme when it comes to his act. He posted vid of himself on Instagram pole dancing to Mimi while dressed as an elf. Domenico really knows how to work those crushed velvet pantaloons.
For those of you who want some fap inspiration for Christmas this year, the rest of Domenico’s Instagram seems to use the “why am I drooling?” filter on most of his pics.
Domenico’s efforts should be applauded except for one aspect of his performance. That damn song. You can’t go anywhere without that damn song playing. You can’t go to the mall. You can’t turn on the TV. You can’t make funeral arrangements for your grandma at the mortuary. You can’t even go to sleep because it plays in your dreams for the entirety of December. It’s like some horrible glitch in the time-space continuum where a tesseract exploded and the fallout was that song enveloping us for a certain 25 days every year. Can Dr. Who or someone knowledgable in this sort of thing save us from this omnipresent aural savagery?