Open Post: Hosted By The Italian Pole Dancing Christmas Sex Elf

Now THAT’s a gig to bring any resume to the next level. Queerty was kind enough to introduce us to Italy’s Domenico Vaccaro. He’s an acrobat and pole dancer who obviously can’t resist a holiday theme when it comes to his act. He posted vid of himself on Instagram pole dancing to Mimi while dressed as an elf. Domenico really knows how to work those crushed velvet pantaloons.

For those of you who want some fap inspiration for Christmas this year, the rest of Domenico’s Instagram seems to use the “why am I drooling?” filter on most of his pics.

Domenico’s efforts should be applauded except for one aspect of his performance. That damn song. You can’t go anywhere without that damn song playing. You can’t go to the mall. You can’t turn on the TV. You can’t make funeral arrangements for your grandma at the mortuary. You can’t even go to sleep because it plays in your dreams for the entirety of December. It’s like some horrible glitch in the time-space continuum where a tesseract exploded and the fallout was that song enveloping us for a certain 25 days every year. Can Dr. Who or someone knowledgable in this sort of thing save us from this omnipresent aural savagery?

Pic: Instagram


  1. Spray on abs

    Yep it is what you are thinking. I am going to look puffy today cause of tears.

  2. He must be one of them Oklahoma Japanese.

  3. Wanton Wonton

    I’m pathetic for things like this. I’m already tearing up and haven’t even clicked yet.

  4. Lefemmenikita

    This is both sad and sweet

  5. That makes me stabby!

    There was a commercial with Connie Chung (who used to be big in the news biz) where she said, “I literally had to pull teeth…” to get info. I screamed at the TV every single time I saw it. I can’t even remember what show it was advertising.

  6. Bah, I bet you’re a Miracle Whip lover!

  7. I didn’t realize that. I’ve only ever eaten Best Foods, but I mention Helman’s since that’s what Best Foods has been called in the Eastern US.

  8. Lefemmenikita

    It’s odd that they chose the name ‘Al Bundy’ in Married with Children.

    As you said, the name isn’t exactly common

  9. It’s the same cold, vacant look in their eyes.

  10. Flora Posteschild

    For an uncommon name, Bundy has some unpleasant associations. There was also Carol Bundy, who was equal parts tragic and sickening. And notice her partner looks like Ted Bundy struck on the head with a mallet a couple times.
    If my name were Bundy, I would change it and move to another part of the world.

  11. Her #metoo tag means, “I’m as stupid and deluded as the POTUS.”

  12. Oh waow! Twins.

  13. Flora Posteschild

    The resemblance is getting stronger, IMO.

  14. Lefemmenikita

    I’ve used this gif a lot in the last few days, but it’s fitting

  15. Spray on abs

    Get help ASAP. jk.


  17. Spray on abs

    So where did the kitty touch you?

  18. Spray on abs

    It’s better today. But dayum I sleep on the side I got the shot on, so ouch.

  19. Spray on abs

    Thanks Trash.

  20. I want that kitty !

  21. Lefemmenikita

    With Gone Girl, filming was obviously in between when Affleck was bulking up for the part of Batman.

    In some scenes, his breasts are really distracting

  22. You would love the Midwest, as far as the men.

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