Christie’s has hawked some of the most expensive art in history: a Van Gogh went for $450 million in November, and a Picasso netted $179 million in 2015. But those should take a seat because that record is about to get smashed for some real fine art: Tupac Shakur‘s ding-a-ling!
TMZ reports a Tupac ex is selling party photos of him, and one includes his trouser snake. The picture was taken at a 1990 house party in Marin County. The only thing I’ve ever heard about Marin County is that it’s a bunch of fuddy-duddies who think it’s a wild night when they open a second mini bottle of Pinot Grigio, so it’s good to hear the ol’ gal used to be a hopping place where the dicks ran free. Tupac was apparently known for trying to shock his pals by just whipping out the whole salami. Somewhere, Matt Lauer‘s defense team is furiously scribbling out an opening statement saying he was just channeling his love of 90s rap when he terrorized Today.
The night of the party, Pac’s girlfriend told him she was going to take a photo of his wiener if he didn’t put it back in its cage. He didn’t, so she landed a photo. Imagine the poor (or blessed) soul who had to develop this down at the local Kodak store way back when.
Tupac Shakur’s Ex-GF Selling His Penis Pic for $7,500 https://t.co/IeAtJmBbDj
— TMZ (@TMZ) December 6, 2017
The photo is now out, and the ex is wanting to sell it for $7,500, which is about $500 million below I would consider as fair market value for a historic peen pic like this. What are we going to see next week? The descendent of George Washington’s side piece trying to hawk his dick pic for a Dairy Queen coupon? Have we no respect for the deceased and their man meat?! Somewhere Madonna is scraping the coins between the cushions of her couch to make a new art acquisition!