Selena Gomez Went “Private” On Instagram, And Her Fans Blame Billboard

There’s nothing that brings all the tweens to the yard than some passive aggressive social media maneuver. Back in my day, all we had were obscure Hanson lyrics to post as an AIM away message, but kids these days can do all sorts of stunts like blocking, unfollowing, and…GOING PRIVATE! So when Selena Gomez took her Instagram to private mode for a mere 130 million of her closest fans and followers, the same number of Detective LaToyas popped up looking for answers.

In case you missed it, Selena did a Billboard interview that opened with the reporter briefly noting a five-foot teddy bear sprawled across her kitchen floo. Some think teddy bear was a gift from Justin Bieber. The article then segued into some deep shit, namely her lupus, her kidney transplant, and puppies (because we need some light fare somewhere). But then the interview veered into the dark arts when the reporter asked what it was like working with Woody Allen, and Selena didn’t exactly come prepared (ROOKIE MISTAKE!) with an answer to Teflon away the judgment. Considering how squirmy she got about the Woody question, you might think her genius fans would blame that on what caused her to block all but a select 130 million few from seeing her Insta. Alas, that is not the case.

Teen Vogue notes the ‘gram went private sometime early Tuesday morning, but before she did, she had posted a screenshot of the story (which was since deleted) with the following caption:

“Never will I let another human guess my words ever again. Or invite them in my home. That is so hurtful. The most ‘ridiculous’ part of that is no one knowing my heart when I say things.”

People took the “ridiculous” quote in her screenshot to coincide with the bear blabbing, so fans naturally think she’s pissy the reporter – whom she INVITED into her HOME – narked on her for holding onto a bear for too long. Oh, Selena, don’t worry. We’ve all held onto bears longer than we should…it’s just a phase in blossoming into the gay man you’re meant to be!

Fans are hoping she’s all right, which I can’t tell if their concern is over her going private or over her mental state from holding onto a giant teddy bear likely scooped up at the county fair. I’m going to assume the latter since Selena is too busy fretting over her teddy collection to realize the real embarrassment was her not just responding to that Woody Allen question with, “I’m still a baby and was on Barney. How the fuck should I know what Woody used to do?



  1. FunkAnarchy84 Ⓐ

    I feel this woman has been used and abused in many ways and is brainwashed. She actually thinks Woody and Justin are good people. It’s making HER rotten.

  2. Ah, okay. I was losing hope in humanity if there is such thing as 130 million people following her on social media.

  3. She’s the second most followed there, after Instagram itself. Hard to believe, I know.

  4. sweetsamuel

    Her dye job is beyond. Looks like blonde weave covered in chicken wing grease that died on 146th St.

  5. It sounds like she’s about to have a meltdown.

  6. thunderstorm

    “Knowing my heart” is a phrase that I think is common in one of those Housewives shows. Social media just gives celebrities a reason to have diarrhea of the mouth.

  7. I bet from Dr. Feelgood!

  8. Woody Allen is gross and so is she. I get why she was dying to work with him. https://uploads.disquscdn.c

  9. Nicholeoleoleo

    Probably. I personally know 2 people who were kidney transplant recipients, and both had notable swelling from the drugs. There’s also Sarah Hyland too. Hers was exceptionally noticeable because she’s rather tiny to begin with https://uploads.disquscdn.c… .

  10. frenchielover

    i never got this girl’s appeal. You can slide around in Lingerie and sing your power ballads and fuck the reigning douche of POP…but you were on Wizards of Waverly Place , so stop trying to be hard core, Own it and go recover from your kidney transplant, (NOT BY WORKING THE RED CARPET). Make yourself a cup of delicious Abuelita and call it a day.

  11. I have said before and will say again, when someone brunet sudden bleaches their hair at this age, they are having a drug problem. Same if they always were blond but then it’s black.

  12. I heard a horrible rumour that she’s gonna be doing a remake of Sabrina the Teenage Witch???

  13. playa's dire twat

    I’d like it if she got really, really into Special K.

  14. playa's dire twat

    They’re fake accounts, lots of celebs use them to pad their numbers.

  15. Bayou Jasper DeKimmel

    Bye trick. No one who matters curr.

  16. DuchessGummyBuns

    Touche. How about a nice benzo?

  17. 130 million followers??? I didn’t know she is this popular. I thought Taylor was the queen of social media.

  18. Formerly Suzy Farkis

    CJ doesn’t realise that going private means your followers that you don’t follow can no longer see your account.

  19. You are not alone.

  20. Formerly Suzy Farkis

    Going private on instagram doesn’t mean that everyone who follows you can still see your account. You have to approve them. That’s why she did it.

  21. hahaha!

  22. Doesn’t coke induce verbal diarrhoea usually? I’d suggest a strong indica.

  23. How dare you! They were getting a very confidential miracle cure for lupus from South America, thankyouverymuch.

  24. TheShowgirl

    Oh thank God! I thought I was having a stroke or something. Turns out this is just some stupid shit.

  25. Blonde hair ain’t for everybody, Selena.

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