Open Post: Hosted By The Jolly F-Bomb A Burglar Drops Into Paddington Bear’s Ear

Giant British retailer Marks & Spencer put out their holiday ad last week, and yeah, bitches are late. Most major department stores have been hustling for holiday money when it was still “coochie cutters and crop tops” weather. But in their holiday ad, they bring together Paddington Bear and the burglar whose Christmas is ruined by that annoying do-gooder in a duffel coat.

The ad starts out with Paddington’s tip getting moist while having Christmas Eve dreams about marmalade. He’s then woken up by another bear. The other bear is out stealing Christmas presents when Paddington knocks him out by opening a window and mistakes the criminal thief for Santa. Paddington is either a master pretender or dumber than a dried dingle. The real Santa would never even think of using a box of Just For Men to sloppily half-dye his glorious white beard, and he wouldn’t be caught dead in jeans and a dreadful Land’s End windbreaker.

Paddington insists on helping Santa “deliver” presents, and the two go around town, returning the presents the robber stole. Eventually the robber feels the Christmas love and when Paddington gives him a dry, basic, ugly sandwich, he hugs the bear. Now, the robber obviously says, “Thank you, little bear,” but some are hearing, “Fuck you, little bear.” At around the 1:10 mark:

Marks & Spencer tell Adweek that they’re not going to change the ad, because it’s clear that the robber says ,”Thank you, little bear.” The only thing this proves is that Marks & Spencer suck at realistic storytelling. That robber would never thank Paddington, and would most definitely tell the bear to fuck off. Now because of Paddington that robber has to go and re-steal all of those presents. He’s basically going to have to work overtime, and during the Christmas holiday, nonetheless. So selfish, that Paddington is.

Pic: YouTube

25 Comments

  1. Wanton Wonton

    After all the shit news, here is something special. How a blind puppy and his rescue dog mate formed an unbreakable bond Grab some tissues.
    http://www.abc.net.au/news/

  2. Why are actresses/actors, musicians, etc put at a high level of social status when they are fucking simple entertainment tools for the general populace. They need to be only given focus on acting or cranking at music verse if they suck dick or eat an std infested taco. Same for pro athletes. Look at Dennis Rodman and his fuckstick NK bitch. Who
    fucking cares. Christ Almighty.

    ETA: Not my comment.

  3. Now I’m in tears.

    *passes cucumber slices for puffiness*

  4. Spray on abs

    Yep. My life has forever been changed by a helpless little being. I am crying my eyes out now. I am going to look puffy tomorrow…lol.

  5. This melts my black heart. You both touched each other’s lives in such a lasting way.

  6. Spray on abs

    Yes. She graduated with honors. She is a fantastic person. She got married last month to a man who adores her. I couldn’t be more proud of her.

  7. Spray on abs

    She was adopted from Peru. She had a twin brother but girls didn’t have much value at the time in Peru so we were lucky to get her. She stole my heart. I never thought that I would want to be in a young persons life…it wasn’t on my list of things I wanted. She taught me so much about myself and love.

  8. Spray, this is a lovely tribute. Do you still keep in touch with the family?

  9. Wanton Wonton

    That’s beautiful, Spray. You are a dear man.

  10. Spray on abs

    Nov. 14th is a very special day for me. I was the manny for a beautiful young girl (from 4 months to 5 years) Today is her birthday. She taught me that I love being her Papadon. There is no greater beauty than having a young soul transform you. I couldn’t be more proud to be alive. I love you Katrina. Happy Birthday Kiddo.

  11. Unify Normal

    Thanks πŸ™‚

  12. Wanton Wonton

    I’ve only spent a few days in Hobart so can’t offer much advice. Mt Wellington is top of the to see lists for a reason. It is spectacular. If you like history, Salamanca Place and Battery Point are worth seeing. And for eating, Elizabeth Street is for foodies.

  13. Unify Normal

    In my case I think it was her personal power trip with a dash of passive aggressive behavior and a pinch of bullshit. She’s in sales, I was creative director. She wanted final say on all creative because “they’re MY accounts”. Classic struggle. Money was also involved, I know she thought I was making too much (I guess she thought I was taking her money?), while I KNOW I was underpaid. It worked out because once I left I concentrated on developing more lucrative accounts which has paid off. I don’t miss them at all.

  14. Wanton Wonton

    That sucks, Batty πŸ™ I hope the furballs are enforcing couch and telly rest for you.

  15. good for you, batty! one of my saving graces is that i don’t have to deal with her or them but once or twice a month in meetings.

  16. VeryOldSyntheticBabyBat

    Amen

  17. VeryOldSyntheticBabyBat

    Try to keep your head up. I have a senior bully .. I have to take it.
    I have not been missing work one bit . I know what’s waiting for me
    One bit.

  18. look at her original nose! πŸ˜›

  19. exactly. i hate it with a passion. i wish i knew what was up. being in that in-between space of not knowing sucks big donkey balls.

  20. Lefemmenikita

    That cat is possessed!

    Quick, call the exorcist before it starts doing the spider walk down the stairs

  21. VeryOldSyntheticBabyBat

    They are great in chicken noodle or chicken veggie . They are trickie so you have to watch them … It’s nice if you have a few minutes to do extra that adds a ton of flavor .

  22. interesting…i guess time reveals all things…i’ll know sooner rather than later what the deal is, i hope…there is a job i saw in SF that is up my alley, but i just bought a place and the thought of applying for another job gives me shingles. ugh. i hate shit like this.

  23. Unify Normal

    Wanton, if you’re still around, Tarty said you might have some info on traveling in and around Hobart. Any advice would be appreciated,

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