Hollywood Is FINALLY Giving Us The Angelyne TV Series We Need And Deserve

Because of the billions upon billions of stories from people who have been preyed on by powerful trash men, Hollywood as we know it is burning down to the ground. And lurking in the smoke and flames is Hollywood’s future: ANGELYNE!

My headline is a bit misleading (What else is new?), because when I think of an “Angelyne TV series,” I prolapse from butt orgasming over the thought of an Angelyne reality show starring Angelyne. This isn’t a reality show and it’s not going to star Angelyne herself. It’ll be a scripted limited-series starring Emmy Rossum and it’ll be based on The Hollywood Reporter’s riveting tale of Angelyne’s transformation from Polish refugee to the candy-dipped Queen of Los Angeles. Hey, I’ll take an Angelyne TV series anyway it comes.

The Hollywood Reporter says that Emmy Rossum will play Angelyne in a limited series. She’s teaming up with Mr. Robot creator (and her husband) Sam Esmail. Emmy and Sam bought the rights to THR writer Gary Baum’s investigative profile of the Los Angeles billboard goddess Angelyne (born name: Renee Goldberg). Gary discovered that Angelyne was born in Poland in 1950 to two Holocaust survivors and her family later moved to Los Angeles, where she eventually reinvented herself as a peroxide bombshell who rules the streets of L.A. in her pink Corvette.

Emmy said this about bringing Angelyne’s story to the small screen:

“I have always been fascinated by the enigma that is Angelyne. At a young age, I can vividly remember staring up at her on a billboard above me and wondering, ‘Who is that woman?’ Gary Baum’s investigative journalism has finally unearthed the true, complex identity of the infamous woman who has fascinated Los Angeles for over 30 years. From the moment I read Gary’s recent piece, I knew I had to tell this story. It’s a poignant and bizarre tale about the hunger for fame, the sexualization of women and the erasing of past traumas.”

Emmy and Sam will both executive produce alongside Chad Hamilton. They’re currently shopping the project around to networks.

In case you’ve never seen a second of Shameless or Phantom of the Opera, this is what Emmy Rossum looks like:

emmarossumlookslike

I hope she’s a pro at wearing 45 pounds of brilliant white hair on her head, 80 pounds of rubber titty meat on her chest, and can hit the gas pedal on a pink Corvette while wearing 6 inch platform heels.

Angelyne doesn’t really want the details of her past out there, so I don’t know if she gave a pink polish-covered thumbs up to this series about her. If she did, then she’ll definitely get a check and an Emmy Award for Best Inspiration For A Limited TV Series. That’s a good thing. If she didn’t, then she’ll definitely sue Emmy and Sam, and we’ll get to see the spectacular sight of her working a hot pink mini-skirt business suit and court-going stilettos in court. That’s a good thing too.

Pics: Wenn.com

25 Comments

  1. That is an old pic

  2. yeah that’s emily blunt. but you can look it up 😉

  3. OK but look at the back end of the car in the photo.

    It’s being held together by masking tape and gum……hmmm.

  4. The Bad Slayer

    That’s Emily Blunt.

  5. No, she was the snotty British receptionist that Anne gave her clothes to. Look it up.

  6. A friend played me some of her music from the 80s recently, it was really good! Bummer about that bumper…

  7. Ah, that makes sense.

  8. She has new vette every few years, so no she isn’t driving a rundown Corvette . She has 2017.

  9. And I bet Angelyne isn’t getting a dime …fuck these pretentious fucks!

  10. Detective LaToya

    Her sugar daddy passed away a while ago. I have a feeling those Vette payments may have gone with him.

  11. Detective LaToya

    Closing in on 70 and still trying to keep up this charade. She must be exhausted.

  12. saraphim_deeznutz
  13. saraphim_deeznutz

    She was great in Earth Girls are Easy 🙂

  14. Emmy is excellent in Shameless. Give it a watch

  15. I hope that Angelyne is on board with this idea and that she gets a cameo, a credit and some money

    Phoebe Price must be pea green with envy

  16. It can’t come soon enough. This put a smile on my face.
    https://i.imgur.com/Y5Cdpht

  17. I remember the video of the pap bothering Angelyne at the 7-11 and her tossing her Big
    Gulp at him and can’t wait for Emmy in a baby voice “You’re sexually harassing me!”

  18. amandabynesbustedweave

    yes….YESSSSSS!

  19. Finally some good news to end our year

  20. Hope this doesn’t mean emmy’s leaving shameless. Took me 8 years but I started binging and love it

  21. Dr. Cheese Toast

    I will watch this. I hope she got paid and doesn’t have a problem with it.

  22. CivilizationIsDoomed

    I think that’s an old pic…believe she finally got a new convertible Vette.

  23. BarbaraMillicentRoberts

    figure skating tights😍 😉

  24. She is an icon in Hollywood and has been around 40 years longer than Elvira….. she has to be at least 100.

    Evangeline got that ugly pink car in the 70’s. Yes the car is a fossil but she cannot afford to fix the bumper or they do not make bumpers for that year any longer?

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