Open Post: Hosted By The Hidden Valley Ranch Keg

It’s like a prop from The Simpsons made its way into our reality. WNCN in North Carolina made unhealthy salad fans very happy this week when it reported on the Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing Keg. Why? How much salad or crudites are you serving at your party?!? Ok, breathe. It’s actually a mini-keg. But still…

For $50, you can order the 9.7 inches tall keg of Hidden Valley ranch on

The keg is 6.3 inches in diameter and holds up to five liters of ranch dressing.

The keg is also “specially coated to meet FDA standards” and comes with a YEAR’S supply of dressing. You can preorder the Hidden Valley keg today and they will be shipped starting on Dec 11. Alcoholics Fellow cheap beer drinkers like me will probably remember when some chain sports bars and restaurants started serving beer kegs and beer towers and yards of beer and it was a very exciting time. You didn’t have to wait for the waitress to swing by to get a refill. I guess this is the same idea, but it means you don’t have to drive to the Stop-n-Shop and drop $3? And you obviously can’t live without your ranch dressing. Er, ok. If they did this with bleu cheese dressing, now that’s a different story.

Pic: Flavour Gallery


  1. IFuckLikeaStarfish

    Especially combined with that wet patch

  2. Orange cat – “Bitch, I see you cheating!”

  3. Because maybe 12:56 L.A. time is an acceptable time to be up, but then maybe no

  4. Lefemmenikita

    I thought it was, “make a diagonal move you idiot” and then it became a contact sport because he took too long?

    Dunno. I think chess is too sophisticated for me.

    Will stick with watching rugby as a good ol traditional Kiwi sport

  5. Wanton Wonton

    I thought cat playing dog, cat didn’t like ref’s decision, makes it physical.

  6. Lefemmenikita

    Not sure but I think that is what the doggy was supposed to be doing (before he stopped caring)

  7. I just had a VERY powerful flashback to 1996.

  8. Wanton Wonton

    I could be a chess referee. Or is it umpire?

  9. Oh you guys totally had the whole conversation. I’ll leave my earlier comment as a testament to my idiot moment though 😀

  10. IMO the big difference between Canadian and Kiwi healthcare, which still throws me after years here, is that in Canada your drugs aren’t covered but your GP visits are… so it’s easy to find out about the rash on your arm but expensive to treat it. Whereas here in NZ, I find scraping together the $$ to get to the Dr. is the challenge and it’s smooth sailing after that.

  11. Tart of Darkness

    Ugh, that doesn’t surprise me. I have to keep super alert I take the bins out.
    I’m sorry about your Mum, those useless S.O.Bs.

  12. This is tough but how you cope is what matters. Everyone goes through this at some point. You’ll be ok. ( hug )

  13. Oh wow, that’s a great gig. Yeah I need to find a situation like that.

  14. *returns kiss*

  15. You’re a gem runic 😘

  16. Wanton Wonton

    He didn’t seem to mind it. He was a Burmese and they are quite dog-like.

  17. Funny you say that. I think you know that my parents ‘escape the winter’ in our state and come closer to where you are? My Mum was out with the cat one time and they were attacked by two large dogs. The cat run the fuck away quickly but my Mum was battered and bruised (a lot). The owners of the caravan park that they stay at did nothing. Assholes 😠

  18. Wanton Wonton

    I want to do something completely different but have no clue what at this point. I hate people so it needs to be in a basement or dungeon somewhere. 😜

  19. Thanks a lot, I mean it babe 😘

  20. Wanton Wonton

    You need to find someone who spends a lot of time away from home. I walked dogs when I was at uni. I had one client who was an adoring owner of his 2 doggies. He spent 6 months in Oz and 6 months in NYC restoring paintings but wanted consistency in his babies days as hIs partner was a doctor and he worked long hours. He paid me a weekly wage whether he was here or O/S. You need to find a situation like that. I only worked 2 hours a day.

  21. A new career, or a new side job for variety?

    If you’re looking for variety, you could probably do some promo work (samples at Target, handing out McDonald’s coupons at sporting events). Especially now that the holidays are coming up.

  22. MsTxnHeartOlyphant™

    when I see a person walking their cat I simply stare. It’s so rare and unique to see


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