Open Post: Hosted By Janet Jackson Keeping It Together Even Though There’s A Giant Goddamn Cleaver In Her Topknot

You know you’re a professional diva when one of your jealous enemies tries to dim your beauty and moment by taking a motherfuckin’ cleaver to your head, and you don’t even blink. You turn that weapon into a look! Although, Janet’s face is so snatched that even if she wanted to blink from having a cleaver in her head, I don’t think she could.

Some Disney villainess’ closet is missing a club outfit today and that’s because Janet Jackson stole it and wore it to OUT Magazine #OUT100 gala in NYC last night. It looks like Miss Janet’s stylist threw every fabric found in the goth section at Mood onto her body before pushing her out onto that carpet. This is the perfect look to wear if you’re a warrior queen who by night fights vampires next to Kate Beckinsale in the Underworld universe, and by morning time travels back to 1996 to hit up the goth clubs.

And I don’t think Janet is going to have her live-in plastic surgeon remove that cleaver. That’s what her enemies want. She’s going to bedazzle that bitch with real diamonds and make it her signature look.

Pics: Wenn.com

25 Comments

  1. Disturbing news aplenty but LOL at this comment from their Megathread post:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.c

    Oh mah gah, it all makes sense now!

  2. Im not the smartest person in the room but if you expect me to believe that Janet Jackson went from this https://uploads.disquscdn.c
    to that pic in less than a year, you must be fucking gullible as hell.

  3. It’s my first time hearing about Gordimer (so call me shallow 😉 ), and from what I’ve read of her so far, she sounds fascinating.

  4. There’s a whole subreddit now for Hollywood sexual harrassment/assault/etc news (https://www.reddit.com/r/We….

  5. Ana Filipovic

    Super cute! Buy them! Yay winter! (I like Winter and Autumn, can you tell?)

  6. I dunno… 2016 everyone died, 2017 everyone gets outed as a sexual predator; I’d like this to be over but I’m starting to be seriously afraid what 2018’s got up its sleeve.

  7. I’m gonna stop reading up on these sexual allegations bc Tom Hanks just got mentioned…

  8. I was at Target (Tarzhay) recently looking for Dominoes to play with my son in the hospital. I saw this game on a nearby shelf. It looked interesting. If I ever have free time . . .

  9. To put your mind at ease, we used to live next door to Martin Clunes for a short while when I was a baby and my mum said he was a lovely man 🙂

  10. https://media.giphy.com/med
    *whispers* and don’t touch guts, they stink af(
    https://media.giphy.com/med

  11. I always wanted to read her books but I thought they’d be too depressing.

  12. The Brietbart army flooded in. The mods or whoever deleted several posts.

  13. Ford_Prefect313

    I’m sure it’s a fucking melt down over there. Trekkies are nothing but loyal.

    Leonard was lucky to peace out when he did.

  14. I’ve been on George’s page for the last 30 minutes and the drama is nuts. Posts being deleted right and left.

  15. Ford_Prefect313

    JESUS!

    I just googled.

    I’m sorry I googled.

    What a whole heap of squick.

  16. Cats love to slap their tail in your face. I love it.

  17. CaliCheeseSucks

    Oh cool! I hope you have a great visit with her :))

  18. Googling winter items for my first winter in 8 years and bought these earmuffins!

    https://images-na.ssl-image

  19. MsTxnHeartOlyphant™

    This is too cute

    I Have a lot of beauty In my holes too . Lol

    🙃

    https://media.giphy.com/med

  20. Lefemmenikita

    This was also posted for Gemma:

    “You are Swiss Cheese. Your beauty is in your holes. All your nooks and crannies are filled with secrets and special talents. You are one of a kind. Don’t let anyone call you a crater face, because your imperfections make you more wonderful than anyone else. Also, believe in your faith — after all, you were made HOLEY.'”

    Bree has been quiet lately now that you mention it

  21. MISSJANETEXAS

    She is.

  22. MsTxnHeartOlyphant™

    I’m two shakes from following you to bed too.

    Well not to your actual bed (unless you want me too loolol I kid I kid … i think lol)

    My sister is coming over for the weekend tmrrw and we’ll be baking also lining up the Roosevelt Video you sent do we’ll watch that .

  23. MsTxnHeartOlyphant™

    Martin could do a documentary on wallpaper and watch it !! Lolololololol

    Gemma is me , bcz I always want to know what BF comes up with . I would be goat cheese lol

    Thank you for posting . These doggie profiles are my absolute fav. Of course if/should you ever come across ol’ Bree , let a sista know.

    You’re a good egg LeFemme🤗

  24. I just checked out their store site. LOLOLOL at “America’s #1 gerbil coffin” and their Period Pack.

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