Next Year’s Met Gala Theme Has Madge Written All Over It

The only thing Madonna might love more than the fresh blood of greased-up backup dancers is to gyrate around a crucifix and surf on a nun. So Anna Wintour really missed an opportunity by not making the Material Girl the lady priest or co-host or whatever of next year’s Met Gala. Because the theme is honoring Catholic fashion. Instead, it’ll be a “say wha?” trinity with Rihanna, Donatella Versace, and Amal Clooney serving as celebrity co-hosts.

Vogue, apparently deciding to black out those white gloves Amal sewed herself for the 2015 Golden Globes, announced today the theme for the 2018 event will be “Heavenly Bodies: Fashion And The Catholic Imagination.”

Next spring, the Costume Institute will sanctify its love of fashion as it presents “Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination.” Designed to create a dialogue between fashion and the masterworks of religious art in the museum’s holdings, the show will be presented in a trinity of locations: the Anna Wintour Costume Center, the medieval galleries at the Met’s Fifth Avenue location, and further uptown at the Cloisters. Central to the conversation will be the papal garb on loan from the Sistine Chapel sacristy, many of which have never been seen outside the Vatican, even in the 1983 Met blockbuster, “The Vatican Collections: The Papacy and Art.”

Everyone will likely do as they’ve done by ignoring the theme completely. Or they’ll just wear rosary beads with papal red Prada pumps and call it a day. But I’m sure many can’t wait to make the Vatican regret ever having agreed to its pact with Beelzebub Wintour. Madge is certain to arrive wearing Rosary beads…and nothing else but arrows pointing to her tits. Amal will knit his and hers nun’s habits to wear with George Clooney and do a scene from Doubt to greet arriving guest for what’s sure to be an uplifting evening. And I’m sure Rihanna will yet again find a way to stop the whole damn show by arriving in a dress that just is a Lego version of the Sistine Chapel.

But Anna really dropped the ball on this. Sally Field could have hosted the whole thing and made the theme all about her costumes from The Flying Nun!



  1. Same. Still I guarantee somebody will do a version of her.

  2. Ahh, what will Pope Francis say?

  3. Catholic Fashion? Everyone in Hollywood is too much of a whore to pull that off. You don’t show your bits in Catholicism. Everyone should wear chastity belts.

  4. Kim as Maria Magdalene would make more sense.

  5. That Madonna is long gone. Makes me sad. 🙁

  6. Che's Hot Rod aka Ben

    Sounds like my kind of church!

  7. NoseyParkerPosey

    How satanic, antichrist, 666 of them. I’m sure it will be as lovely as the fashion show where all the models looked like demons and wore horns which took place in a church in England recently. Disgusting.

  8. A pedophilia-themed Met gala??

  9. Um… did Madonna have plastic surgery? Or are those cheek fillers? So much for being confident.

  10. This whole theme has Madonna written all over it . AW truly fucked up .
    Hopefully M will be there and as usual be the most interesting one there……BOW DOWN

  11. The met Gala has turned into the trashiest event around since the Kardashians started going, its a z list event. Im sure Madge has better things to do. No doubt somebody will turn up as her anyway.

  12. Robin Dwyer-Hickey

    I must admit that surfing on a nun – as far as I’m aware – is original. It was a fascinating trainwreck and it makes me wonder what other oddly specific things she does live.

  13. Yeah being a pop star is much more important than being a human rights lawyer. eyeroll

  14. Horrible fucking theme.

    Secondly, why hasn’t Zac Efron ever attended one of these things? Fuck 🙁

  15. Queen Mab of the Unseelie

    The AntiKRISt in the flesh.

  16. Queen Mab of the Unseelie

    You called it, and I know you will be right.

  17. Queen Mab of the Unseelie

    Meh. The Met Gala will be invaded once again by reality TV trash, it won’t be worth the view.

  18. And they are pretty badass.

  19. What a mess!

  20. We drank lots of Bloody Marys. *Presbyterian

  21. 🍁🦃🌽ℱїḓḓℓεÐεε🍁🦃🌽

    As long as Anna Wintour is involved it will be a waste of time.

  22. I know I’ve been and they are actually wearing that every day and all adorable. I think it’s a requirement. The adorable part.

  23. Love Henry Rollins. I played that video for my nieces and nephews when they were little. Scared them to death. They still talk about it to this day.

  24. I know. Even if you don’t like Madonna, the woman has earned her fame & the right to be called an icon. This overpaid beard has done shit.

  25. It will be horrible, and cost more than the budget of Georgie’s most recemy flop.

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