Life & Style Says That Kourtney Kardashian Is Also Knocked Up

According to Life & Style, Kourtney Kardashian is joining Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, and Kylie Jenner in creating jobs for the nannies of Calabasas. A source tells Life & Style that 38-year-old Kourtney got knocked up by her 24-year-old boy toy Younes Bendjima.

“She was thrilled to learn she was expecting. She loves being part of a large family and having so many siblings, and she wants the same for Mason, Penelope, and Reign.”

Life & Style’s source says that she wanted to have a fourth kid, and heavily implied that Younes will be a great dad simply because he’s not Scott.

“She needs a man who will be both present and sober,” the source explained. “With his charming personality and intelligence, Younes will make the perfect father.”

Kourtney hasn’t said anything about the possibility of her fourth pregnancy, but then again neither has Kylie or Khloe said anything about theirs. In all likelihood, this is probably just some uncreative fiction written by a bored Kris Jenner. But even if it’s true, it’s like – okay? Sure I guess? Of course Kourtney would be rumored to be knocked up again! Being pregnant and eating gluten-free snacks are literally her only KUWTK story lines. If we really wanted some shocking Kardashian news from Kourtney, someone should have leaked a video of her eating a Kit Kat like a normal person.

Pic: Wenn.com

25 Comments

  1. I’m pretty sure that’s how Village of the Damned started. Someone should check the water/air around Kalabasas. Shit’s not right there.

  2. I hope your mom made a mint teaching parents that associative memory technique. I’m a devotee now.

    That movie has it all:
    marriage is scary,
    sex with an asshole might fuck you up mentally and/or physically,
    listen to your real friends when they tell you some shitbags are gaslighting you,
    fuck actors but never marry them, mousse is almost always a crap shoot, a pixie cut will probably be more flattering than you think (“now we can see your pretty face, honey” says every mom),
    unprotected sex will have you pumping breast milk for the literal, or figurative, spawn of Satan (same difference at my house) so use some fucking birth control,
    a Mother’s love is unconditional and defies logic, even when you are from Hell.

    You’ve shown me the light. Instead of going on a rambling diatribe, I need to get a copy of Rosemary’s Baby and Ludovico Technique the holy fuck out of them my kids.

  3. It’s my favorite movie. My mom was 8 when it came out so she insisted I watch when I was old enough.

  4. I forgot that one!! Thank you!! That might have to be my go to line, because it was the scariest part. However, when someone tells me they are pregnant and the name shit inescapably comes up, I always suggest Andy and Jenny. You and Unoriginal are the only ones that would ever get it. I’ve never had one yet. Just looks of sadness and disgust for not offering up Topher or Paisley.

  5. Queen Mab of the Unseelie

    ….at every corner of the red light district.

  6. Supah nurse

    The end really is near!!!! Before the apocalypse hits just know I love you D listed horz!

  7. *insert choice of Prince gif of disgust here*

  8. I think this’ll be exactly what happens. I’m sure that PMK have already briefed them on if they ever even met Herv the Perv, but I guess not otherwise there would be stories on TMZ about him making them feel “uncomfortable” or something. I’m sure it’ll come out that Hollywood execs have tried to get Kum into bed but she’s such a hardcore feminist blah blah blah strong independent woman yadda yadda with a naked selfie attached for extra “empowerment”.

  9. A source tells Life & Style that 38-year-old Kourtney got knocked up by her 24-year-old boy toy Younes Bendjima.

  10. Genetics usually does the trick.

  11. My brain just separated watching that KitKat clip. I have to assume all KUWTK episodes are essentially longer versions of that.

    I have lost all remaining respect for anyone who watches that show.

    Also – I don’t think poor Khloe is pregnant.

  12. Damn, PMK’s turkey baster must be scalding by now.

  13. “KLOGRE” hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

    You are correct, she is certainly the odd man out .

  14. jerseygirl17

    They’re threenagers. LOL. Thank you!

  15. JennyJazzhands

    Lol burn.

  16. Stan_Hooper

    God Lord all 4 of them are knocked up! What kind of devil’s pact is this?

  17. 3 possibilities:
    1) They have several surrogates
    2) They are pregnant
    3) It’s a hoax
    The sources are them and they’re making money by rising their profiles. We’re now all hyped to see pictures of them and to have them the pregnancies confirmed and click and click on article after article to see IF THEY REALLY ARE PREGNANT!!!
    Sad life, really. All around. Best to just ignore them.

    ETA: And I’m now having a kit kat chunky. There really is only one way to eat them. Guess Dlisted regulars have got enough gifs to demonstrate it.

  18. JennyJazzhands

    If they can get a spinoff out of it? Yes.

  19. Klogre 😂😂

  20. JennyJazzhands

    Isn’t that kid (her “boyfriend”) like 20?

  21. Jello® Butt fka llkroll

    Maybe there can be drama at the hospital while each alleged father tries to puff up.

  22. Jello® Butt fka llkroll

    God. Seriously. i thought to myself this is just another sign of the end. lol

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