Just Like The First One Did, The New “Blade Runner” Movie Flopped

Crowds didn’t exactly swamp the movie theater this weekend to spend three hours with Harrison Ford and Ryan Gosling in Blade Runner 2049even if Harrison really did punch precious pony Ryan!

Even though the original Blade Runner back in the 80s was a big box office turd, it gained a cult following later in its life, and studio execs were like, “Fuck, if Dirty Dancing can get a remake, this shit surely can, too.” I’m not sure if they actually said that, but Warner Brothers did spend some coin on this movie. Blade Runner 2049, which cost at least $200 million to make, was a hit with critics, but The New York Times says it brought in only $31.5 million in the U.S. this weekend. That’s a whopping 30% less than what analysts expected. It was still the #1 movie at the domestic box office, followed by The Mountain Between Us ($10.1 million) and It ($9.9 million).

Warner Bros. exec Jeff Goldstein didn’t pull any of that Paramount/mother! sugar-coating shit when talking about Blade Runner’s floppage:

“I’m disappointed. The real trick now is to expand the audience past older men.”

Good luck with that, Jeff! Ryan and Harrison won’t be giggling through too many more interviews since younger people and the ladies never showed up to see their movie about cyborgs that showed ample booby. Hmmm, wonder why! Having been one of the few people who actually saw the movie this weekend, I think I know why: THE DAMN THING CLOCKS IN AT JUST UNDER THREE HOURS. And you didn’t even get to see Ryan’s Canadian cock-a-doodle-doo or Harrison’s grandpa peen. If they want to bring in the young tricks and ladies, do another remake, name it Wiener Runner, and Fandango will have to shut down for the day on account of all the dick demand. There! Box office crisis solved.

Pic: Wenn.com

25 Comments

  1. That’s why the fashion world makes different designs. 🙂

  2. There are some theaters that use recliners for all seating, offer a pretty full menu with actual food – I doubt Zagat would give them any rating besides 1 star, very modern clean bathrooms and any talking policy that can get you kicked out in seconds.

  3. just like a Sesame Street character.

  4. Green Is Good

    That’s the “DUH! ” factor here! You’d think Hollyweird and the film distribution companies would have gotten together on this. Like they used to in the old days of Hollyweird.

  5. LOL.

  6. Hahaha. Back at ya!

  7. Queen Mab of the Unseelie

    No sweat…both were great soundtracks!

  8. Queen Mab of the Unseelie

    I refuse to watch Avatar. It’s a ripoff of Dances With Wolves and James Cameron just offends me, period.

  9. svetlanabanana

    Heh… I thought it was kind of boring. But the people I saw it with liked it.

  10. Organ Donor

    I think one has to be a sci fi fan, and even more specific, has to be a sci fi fan who actually liked the OG Blade Runner…many of whom didn’t…to appreciate this one. I’ve been refusing to see it because I can’t stand Gooseling and his relentless smirk face.

  11. byazrov.com

    Well, obviously, it flopped. Who wants to see artsy-fartsy actor Ryan and super old Ford in 200 million dollars movie? I don’t.

  12. I thought the movie was weaker the more connected it was to the original. All of the new stuff was great. The characters from the original BR felt so unnecessary. 2049 should have been a standalone story set in the BR universe.

  13. I’m kind of miffed about these headlines. It’s only underperforming in the US. It’s doing well overseas.

  14. The audience for this is pretty great. It’s totally worth watching in cinema. I’ll be going again next week. Don’t miss out. Watch it on a big screen. It’s gorgeous.

  15. He’s cute and non threatening.

  16. Michael Hampton

    The latest Transformers movie clocked in at almost 3 hours. Transformers.

  17. Then why are you even answering this stupid comment? Please, I’d be interested in all the sequels (that are not part of a bigger franchise) that make so much money. And lets exclude YA movies. Teenagers watch everything.

  18. Have you seen the movie?? It has excellent reviews-some say it’s one of the best of the year.

  19. I don’t think the movie was promoted correctly.
    Nobody likes re-makes/sequels? Hello??? Maybe not you or me but sequels for most movies generate hundreds of millions of dollars-the stupider the better -that’s why they make them. I could list a bunch but the comment is too stupid.

  20. Slippy_World

    THE Blade Runner -a frozen amazing moment in time ….
    https://www.youtube.com/wat

  21. KittahLove83

    No! Kingsmen wasn’t good? :/

  22. Crooked smile

    Loved the first one, and still going to see this one. Same director as The Arrival and I watched that again last night. Beautiful thought provoking movie and Amy Adams was fucking fantastic in it!

  23. I always forget about matinees. That would be a good way to go see like three movies in one day and still come out cheaper than a primetime ticket.

  24. Baby Crisis

    Hollywood is , and has always been intensely corrupt.
    It sells itself as a “Dream Factory “- to those who dream of stardom and the movie going public , when , in reality Hollywood is driven by money , and greedy Fat Cats.
    Hollywood is run by super-wealthy (mostly ) men who do not give a fuck about us as consumers .
    Who do not respect us , or our intellect and only care about us lining their pockets as we empty our’s to watch the unconsidered shit they throw on the screen.
    They also exploit , abuse and destroy many of the child , animal , and adult actors they make their money on the back of e.g.Judy Garland , Mickey Rooney (drugs , no sleep , worked like robots )
    Francis Farmer , Fatty Arbuckle ,Jean Harlow , Kim Richards , Corey Haim , Corey Feldman…etcetera
    “Hollywood Babylon” by Kenneth Anger is a Great read if you are curious about the foundations of modern Hollywood.
    That being said , I love a good film , I am passionate about television and literature.
    In short , I love being told a good story.
    I just don’t love it when the majority of what I am being expected to hand my hard earned dollar over to fuckers like Weinstein for are stories I have already been told!
    It’s bloody insulting!
    Lastly in my rant , I have to say that there HAS to be so many genius young screenwriters floating around LA desperately trying to get some great scripts looked at – where is the studio’s Fucking innovation and excitement about the art they trade in ?Instead of taking risks , and being innovative , exciting and challenging to us as consumers they prefer to trot out regurgitated hits-because it made them money before , surely it will again?!
    Because that’s all Hollywood is motivated by – Money.
    Not Art.
    P.S-I loved the original Blade Runner-the book is also very good-“Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep ” by Phillip K Dick.
    I will be watching this movie.
    Probably after watching the original again😀

  25. Do you mean 2:44 hours? It better not. I can think of better things to do than sit on my ass and look at pictures on a screen for nearly three hours. The last few Warner Bros. movies I saw were a giant waste of time. And I don’t even know what kind of story could varant a 2:44 hours long sequel to the original story. Should ahve been a tv show. But still, I’ll watch it because I love the original. Maybe it’s good, despite Ryan “Weird Face” Reynolds and Jared “Method Actor” Leto.

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