There Are People Out There Who Want To Have Sex With Pennywise

CinemaBlend claims that there are some sick tricks out there that want to have sex with Pennywise. Not the band, the demonic clown villain from horror movie smash hit It. I’ve heard of some bizarre, dangerous fetishes, but evil-clown fucking takes the entire bakery.

True, Pennywise is played by Bill Skarsgard, who is tall Nordic p.o.a. Alexander Skarsgard’s little bro. Maybe that has people all horny. But no, it’s not the possibiliity of getting with Eric Northman by doing his younger bro that has people soaking their Regal Cinema seats during viewings of It. It’s the actual evil nightmare clown that they want to get on. I blame Trump.

There are people posting their Pennywise the Fucking Dancing Clown fantasies online. Does Homeland Security have a Cyber-Gross Division?

I want to have sex with Pennywise and I never had sexual fantasies about a serial killer.

I’d have more respect for you if you wanted to do the Zodiac Killer.

Oh, and these freaks forcing me to actually kink-shame people are unafraid to go into full floppy-clown-shoes-from-hell detail. Barf. He eats children!

I want Pennywise and I to have a sexy makeout session with those big plump lips and those spooky sharp teeth of his.

No, what you want, nay NEED, is a 5150 hold on your crazy ass. He lives in a sewer!

Some even feel sorry for Pennywise and think reasoning with him might help. Sure, right after he finishes BITING OFF THAT KID’S ARM.

I wish Penny had a love interest, and I wonder how he’d react knowing that that person would die one day. I don’t know but it just gets me thinking.

Oh, sure, true love will surely soothe the savage clown with the knife teeth. What are they teaching kids in schools these days? Damn millennials.

Pic: Warner Bros.

25 Comments

  1. Really?! So it’s not an ancient Native American apparition or whatever? Ewwww!

  2. That is fucking awesome:)

  3. Then he sees Kylie’s child and starts crying, asking for his mama and promising that he’ll be good forever and ever.

  4. Maybe it’s one of those I can totally change him situations? Either way, really sick in the head. The mother of my friend’s childhood best friend was one of Bundy’s victims. I grew up in California during the Night Stalker days. Serial killers really are so fascinating but shit, I’d rather read about them from afar.

  5. It’s fun) not complaining)

  6. Amen.

  7. I’m happy being in a long term, monogamous relationship, which apparently makes me a weirdo these days.

  8. So appropriate, people are these days…

  9. Ha! And sorry:/

  10. Duh… i was fucking clowns my entire life

  11. Hahahahaha – you really cracked me up.

  12. I just saw that movie tonight & having sex with anyone let alone that evil clown was the last thing on my mind – people are just sick. Oh & talking about sick people went to the 9:30 show & here comes a woman with her two kids – the youngest had to be 5 or 6 – I just can’t with people anymore!

  13. Psst: please tell me what he is and the ending. If you have time of course!

  14. Your friend is now ALL our friend.

  15. Lost Boys….and I think the soundtrack had a lot to do with it…JMO…the Doors…
    ~When you’re strange
    Faces come out of the rain
    When you’re strange
    No one remembers your name
    When you’re strange

  16. Now that is funny.

  17. LOL…that is what the last year of having to fuck my ex husband was like…nightmare.

  18. 😂😂😂

  19. The Bad Slayer

    If only. Maybe then the kid would have a chance.

  20. I did. I like seeing movies alone. This one was scary to watch by myself, but it was so good.

  21. Love that you saw it alone. 🙂

  22. Yes, yes! Like a love letter to the genre. Very good.

  23. We all float! 🎈

  24. Wait. Zombie sex is a thing now??

  25. ☥Ghoulish Scum of Satan☥

    Sounds to me like Ryan Murphy’s running out of ideas.

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