One Of Leonardo DiCaprio’s Past Pieces Might Be Getting A Second Chance

This picture of Leonardo DiCaprio pondering pensively has nothing to do with this story. But I like to think this is the same way he looks when he’s going through his old girlfriends and seeing which ones might get a repeat appearance in his life. “Lukas, show me the next list. I’d like blondes from 2013-2014. Let’s start with the first quarter, and can you list them by Victoria’s Secret catalogue appearances? Thank you, Lukas.”

The last time we checked in with Leo’s lil’ Titanic (ew I’m sorry), he had reportedly broken with tradition and was dating a 23-year-old model named Lorena Rae that had (gasp!) brown hair. Leo was most recently seen with Lorena last Thursday night.

Leo’s attempt at branching out of his boner comfort zone must have been such an unwelcome shock to his system, because it appears that only two days later, he decided to return to the safety and comfort of familiar cooch-itory. According to some very convincing evidence from People magazine, there’s a good chance 42-year-old Leonardo DiCaprio is back with 25-year-old blonde panty model Toni Garrn again.

A lit-looking Leo and Toni were seen walking hand-in-hand while exiting a club in New York on Saturday. A source tells people they left at around 5:30am, and both went home in the same vehicle.

If that isn’t the face of something called The Pussy Posse, I don’t know what is.

Leo got together with Toni back in 2013, and he skedaddled out of there towards the end of 2014. This isn’t the first time Leo has gone back into the archives. Last year he was rumored to have recycled Nina Agdal.

Leo and Toni’s possible hook-up happened during New York Fashion Week. And that’s an important thing to note, because NYFW is basically Leo’s version of walking into Golden Corral with a One Free Buffet Visit coupon. He could have filled up his plate with two, three dozen blonde models in their 20s, but instead he took home a tried-and-true favorite. Or maybe Drunk Leo just can’t tell blonde models apart anymore and he took home Toni by accident thinking she was new. If that’s the case, Leo – you need a better system. Maybe a swipe-card with an expiry date or something. A Frequent PussyPass, if you will.



  1. Who is Lukas?

  2. Bar! I’ll never forget her with a name like that! I love bars!

  3. There should be a bowl full of earplugs handy then:)

  4. At this point its completely normal for him. She is just his novelty, Today.


  5. Maybe…but thanks for the words of encouragement 😊

  6. yeah you would need decent health care coverage for stiff neck.
    and it gets worse.
    whilst they give leo a BJ, he keeps talking about winning the Oscar and that global warming award he won and he flew on his private jet to receive.

  7. I would say he could offer worker’s comp but he seems like a cheapskate when it comes to these blowup dolls.

  8. If that is the case, I feel sorry for the girls.
    they end up with a sore neck, because they need to use their head to hold up Leo’s Fat Over Penis Area gut that is resting on their head.
    I hope they have good health coverage for neck physio

  9. With a pee test:)

  10. And they’re all clones. He probably doesn’t bother to remember their names either. Just keeps picking them up outside their high school.

  11. The only one I remember is Giselle and the Israeli one that looked like…Giselle.

  12. Definitely sad for him. And the fact that you’re questioning it shows you’re light years ahead of him maturity-wise. Your life will get better. He’ll just acquire more STIs.

  13. That’s probably he keeps trying. She’s one of the few women who isn’t enthralled by his Leo-ness.

  14. He seems like the type who would want to be on the receiving end of a blowjob, then fall asleep as soon as he’s done. No reciprocation because he’s a climate saving movie stah.

  15. I wouldn’t be shocked by that. He seems like he’s trying too hard with the revolving door of lookalike blondes.

  16. Gets a second chance at herpes is more like it.

  17. hahaha

  18. https://uploads.disquscdn.c… Toni Garn, not Terri Garr. Ha.

  19. I dated this gorgeous Mexican guy many years ago and he told me this crazy story about Leo. He was a bartender at a famous club in Mexico City in the late 90s. Leo visited the club many times while he was filming Romeo and Juliet there and my ex claims he saw him making out with a guy.

  20. Oh Loopy… Just when I thought I couldn’t love you more πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»

  21. WOW my god, those are some basic bitches.
    They look like any girl you can find from the mall, no wonder they are hooking up again with Leo.
    These basic bitches career ain’t going nowhere, at least being a paid pussy you get a daily allowance, taxable deductions plus a guy munching your pussy.
    Sure sure, he looks like the fat Pillsbury donut dough boy, but close your eyes, let Leo feast on your pussy, and imagine all the cash coming in!

  22. GimmeAllTheCoffee


    MMmmmMmMMMmm that’s some yummy piping hot tea! Sounds like they were def banging. I LOVE IT.

  23. Terri Garnn. She is from Germany and so is his mother.

  24. Nikitainthesection

    Which one?

  25. Lol, he does look positively lit.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *