“Howdy, And Welcome To Miss Jenny’s Good Time Saloon”

Jennifer Lawrence made her long-awaited return to the Toronto International Film Festival yesterday for the premiere of mother!, a film which will reportedly make you say “What in the fuck?” in either the good way or the bad way. JLaw didn’t trip up the red carpet, but she did arrive looking like the madame of a My Fair Lady-inspired cathouse. “You could do more than dance all night, but it’s gonna cost you an extra $200, hun. And I don’t want to hear about the ‘rain’ in Spain falling anywhere but the plain, you catch my drift?

I get about 98% of her Dolce & Gabbana look here (sparkles, ribbons, boobies – all major players in a razzle-dazzle moment). But then my eyes got to the shoes and I was very confuse.

42nd Toronto International Film Festival - 'Mother' - Premiere

I came up with three possible explanations for the heels on those shoes: that they came like that, that Jennifer Lawrence accidentally walked through a pile of charms that fell off a display case from a Pandora store, or that those are some sort of decorative anti-slip heel guards used to protect JLaw while walking along Toronto’s many slippery streetcar tracked streets. As someone who has wiped out on said tracks in a dress (and subsequently flashed a whole train full of rush hour riders), I will choose to believe it’s the third option.

Jennifer Lawrence also talked more about how ~crazy~ and ~intense~ Darren Aronofsky is and how the filming of mother! was. During a TIFF press conference for mother! (via People), Jennifer said:

“It was an instant yes before I even read anything. He told me his ideas and I thought they were brilliant and unique and challenging. I’ve been a fan of his for years – I think he’s bold and brave, and I think I said brilliant.

But I’ve been a fan, so once he told me the ideas floating around in his head I said yes. Then I got a script and when I read it I threw it across the room and told him he had severe psychological problems. But it’s a masterpiece.”

Okay Jennifer, was the script actually bonkers enough to warrant getting thrown across a room? Because if I’m going to put on pants and pay $78 or however much movies cost these days for two hours of alleged pretentious film brilliance, I better get a damn mind warp of a show. Like, are we talking crazier than a chorus of singing and dancing ripped-out hearts circling a spooky Michelle Pfeiffer like an old-timey musical number? Because that’s the expectations bar I’ve set for myself here.

Here’s more of JLaw and Javier Bardem at the TIFF premiere of mother! yesterday:

Pics: Wenn.com

25 Comments

  1. She isn’t “all natural”, you’re just infatuated and blind. Still waiting on you to put your money where your dumbass mouth is though. Let’s see that “still turning heads” face of yours.

  2. You know it. You’re the one accusing her of using fillers when she’s all natual. In your mind, she’s too beautiful to be natural.

  3. Your truth. Which is wrong.

  4. Not at all. Just LOOK at her unphotoshopped pictures without her wearing make-up. She IS ugly as all get out. I’d rather wake up next to Shrek.

  5. Pics or you’re just bullshitting.

  6. I’m wearing minimal make-up and still turn heads in NYC. Thank you very much. I think that’s why I’m not threatened by other attractive women.

  7. No, you need an attitude adjustment.

  8. It’s the most obvious one AND the truth.

  9. That’s all you got? Jenny sure got her some staunch defenders, lol.

  10. “looks”. She’s anything but, you need spectacles.

  11. With 50 pounds of make-up even a troll like you could be called beautiful.

  12. Pictures prove otherwise.

  13. This woman was plucked out of the street for her looks, and it’s not hard to see why. She’s naturally gorgeous.

  14. You are so green.

  15. I didn’t even recognize her.

  16. Literarylioness

    She always dresses like someone who has been kicked out of the senior prom for inappropriate attire. That extended eye is doing nothing for her round Moon Pie face.

  17. Mrs. Iris Rainbird

    I know. I was falling on the floor laughing and snorting the first time I ever saw this. Still gives me the church giggles.

  18. Wait… hating someone costs energy? I wasn’t aware. I don’t care enough, to spend any energy. But I still despise this c*nt.

  19. Darren is rich. He paid for a few OPs.

  20. Not to mention ugly. Scrape off the 10 pounds of make-up and you’re left with a troll uglier than Shrek.

  21. It’s clear this hag got nothing going for her, except the fanboys/girls. How she ever became famous is beyond my understanding.

  22. Please, she’s already had work done.

  23. No, she doesn’t. It’s everything but natural. Stop this fangirling.

  24. STOP it. Your fanboy/girl is showing and it’s not a good look. Now, back to ogling her nudes.

  25. Please. Blake is at least really pretty. unlike this overblown hag.

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