Angelina Jolie Will Return To Acting In The “Maleficent” Sequel

Things are really tough right now at the Jolie mansion. The ‘change filter’ light on the Evian Septic System For Stars & Other Richies(TM) has been blinking for weeks. One of the gardeners took the afternoon off and forgot to leave the fresh Tahitian gardenias in the ancillary powder room located inside the second and third floor guest bathroom. And to top it all off, Angelina Jolie’s stylist is dead, because she accidentally on purpose laid out a navy blue muumuu instead a black one for Angie’s “surprise” trip to 7-Eleven with the kids. I mean, for fucks sake, does she have to do everything herself?!?!

Well, according to People magazine, yes. Yes she does. And that includes going back to work as an actress to make ends meet after her split from Brad Pitt.

People says that Angelina recently confirmed to Deadline that her first gig on her to-do list is to slip back into those cheekbones for the Maleficent sequel:

“I am now the breadwinner for the family so it’s time,” Jolie joked to Deadline about returning to acting after two years away. “We have been working on the script and this is going to be a really strong sequel.”

How much bread does this trick still need?! Surely she has enough for sandwiches for the entire family, french toast every morning, stuffing (cornbread and traditional) for a bajillion turkeys, and enough to fill the bike basket of every Parisian manic pixie dream-girl on the planet! While Angie may think eating bread is beneath her, she’s got to admit that if she did crave a PB&J in the night, she’d have enough on hand to slap one together. Given she could find the kitchen. And where the knives are. And could open the jar without help.

Angie reported that she’d taken time off to take care of her kids because of her “family situation,” but now she’s ready to take on Maleficent again and says, “I look forward to having some fun with that.” Angie gonna have fun, you guys! Watch out! Honestly, I enjoyed Angie as Maleficent in the first movie. Well, at least at the beginning where she was just pure evil. But then by the end, they tried to give her a heart and shit. If the sequel starts out with her being decent, then what’s the point unless she somehow regresses back into a villain? At any rate, it will be a breath of fresh air to watch Angie chewing the scenery instead of chewing on her fingernails.

Here’s more Angelina in some daytime pajamas and 2/3 of the child army at the TIFF premiere of The Breadwinner yesterday.

Pics: Wenn.com

25 Comments

  1. She isnt handling ageing very well. The kids look fucking miserable.

  2. I think your right. She doesnt have any females friends, im a bloke and I have more woman in my life than this trick seems too. She doesn’t seem like the type of girlfriend who would have your back. She would throw you to the fire if she could. I dont think I would like any of my girls looking up to this phoney, fake bitch. I think she drags woman down, just my opinion.

  3. I feel like an asshole not realizing she was a minor when that happened:/

  4. I feel bad knowing that she was so young though. The other freaky shit is all on her though-killing animals and whatnot.

  5. Ariana-Kaelita

    AJ should be investigated by CPS just based on how Viveinne looks in these pics!
    How can anyone not see that something is wrong with that child? She looks mentally unwell and depressed! And she is only 9! The kids always looked dishevled and dirty in the regular pap pics!
    Angelina has been seen wearing the same creepy black dress and grey sweater for over 3 months now!

  6. Ariana-Kaelita

    I think she doesn’t want any of the daughters to outshine her in anything. I don’t think she wants any of the girls to grow up pretty or accomplished.

  7. Ariana-Kaelita

    She looks like Brad.

  8. Ariana-Kaelita

    Well its true! This is what she looks like!

  9. Ariana-Kaelita

    I think Angelina hates women in general, No female friends, no remorse for all the women whose homes she has wrecked and I never hear her praising female director or women writers, editors, cinematographers,etc.
    I think she liked to pick on Jennifer Aniston bu getting pregenet with Pitt’s baby so quickly, flaunting the affair in her face, those kids,etc. because it made Jolie feel good.
    And I think she secretly wanted Jen to be depressed and sad but Jen picked herself up and still went on being happy.

  10. Ariana-Kaelita

    I still believe she is pushing the trans thing on Shiloh. I don’t know why, but something tells me that this was not the girls choice.
    And now to see the other daughter dressing like that?
    It can’t be a coincidence!

  11. Ariana-Kaelita

    I think she likes the idea that her kids have to depend on her and cannot do anything without her. I think she hates it when the men in her life tell her things she doesn’t like to hear or walk away from her.
    Yep, she is only in her early 40s and this is her 3rd failed marriage. She also can’t find work in either acting or directing because she stinks and is hated so much in the industry!
    I also can’t believe how old she looks despite being 42! She looks like a woman in her 50s or 60s!

  12. Ariana-Kaelita

    She is mentally ill.

  13. Ariana-Kaelita

    Yep it is true. AJ never visted her at all I believe. She was off partying in some country with Brad around the time or filming a movie.

  14. Ariana-Kaelita

    She only made it to the A list because she was Brad Pitt’s mistress. Thats all.
    Before she met Brad, Angelina had nothing but Tomb Raider and a bunch of flop movies. She was a B lister heading into C list territory before she fucked Brad Pitt behind Jennifer Aniston’s back!

  15. Ariana-Kaelita

    Yep, she spends like a billionare and leads a very lavish lifestyle. I never bought her claims about donating 1/3rd of her income away. No way does she give that much away with her expensive and fancy lifestyle!
    And dear god, why do her kids look do disheveled and unhappy all the time?
    These kids look extreamly sad and isolated despite having 2 movie star parents and being filthy rich!
    Brad made a huge mistake getting with this woman and having so many kids with her! I bet he never envisioned his family life to be like this at all!

  16. Ariana-Kaelita

    EWW!
    2 words: Bone Bag!

  17. It’s infuriating because these out-of-touch fucks will never be able to comprehend what it’s like to not only be unable to afford whatever your heart desires, but to actually worry about having to cover just what you NEED. It’s like when Goop tried to buy a week’s worth of groceries with $30 and came up appallingly short. Living on a budget is no fucking picnic, there’s nothing chic or humorous about it. It’s real life for many people, and they can only dream what it must be like to live and act like such a disgustingly privledged asshole.

  18. It must be a truly devastating existence to utterly hate everything about yourself. I just don’t understand it.

  19. Penny Dreadful

    It’s especially insulting when rich ass people make jokes like they’re poor, and dress themselves and their kids like they shopped the K-Mart blue light specials. Meanwhile she’s got a TWENTY MILLION DOLLAR MANSION she never settles down long enough to live in. This bitch.

  20. I don’t think women expect lopsided tits after reconstruction. She could have chosen smaller breasts to be in proportion to her skeleton body.

    I have no sympathy for Jolie and her health scare bullshit.

  21. How about this shoulder? Bony cunt https://uploads.disquscdn.c

  22. Yeah it’s as if she was perfectly comfortable being videotaped. As if it was something she was used to.

  23. Shiloh is a straight up DUDE.

  24. Hahahahahahahahahaha

  25. No, she has a high school education. It just struck me that she might not be emphasizing a college educaton to her kids because she doesn’t want them to look down on her. She doesn’t want them to be smarter or more educated.

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