Kirk Cameron Is Dumb, Thinks God Sent Hurricanes To Teach Us “Humility”

HuffPost reports that friendless religious zealot Kirk Cameron thinks that all of the Category 5 terror that has been destroying parts of the world is a sure sign that his deity is angry at all of us. It’s because, in his estimation, we’re all Satan-worshipping slut sinners! Jennifer Lawrence would disagree. She sort of blames Trump. Well, Kurt, I checked with God, and she says “yo, wassup?” (who doesn’t love Empire Records?) as well as requesting that we don’t judge her by “that fool from Growing Pains.” I think she means Kirk and not Leonardo Dicaprio.

The skilled homosexual communication expert took a moment from his busy schedule of causing Alan Thicke to roll in his grave to film his deep thoughts on the weather while at an airport in Orlando, FL. Witnessing this mess in person would cause me to quietly and quickly get up from my seat at the gate and find the nearest airport bar. Kirk doesn’t think that all of these hurricanes are just a coincidence. You better hurry along, Kirk, because JesusActuallyHatesYou Airlines Flight 666 to Crazyville is now boarding.

“How should we look at two giant hurricanes coming back to back like this?” Cameron said in a video posted on his Facebook page. “Do we write them off as coincidence? Do we write it off as a statistical anomaly? Wow! Who would’ve thought? Is it just Mother Nature in a bad mood?”

Spoiler alert – Kirk doesn’t believe it’s any of those things. He thinks that hurricanes and other meteorological phenomena are “a spectacular display of God’s immense power.

When he puts his power on display, it’s never without reason. There’s a purpose. And we may not always understand what that purpose is, but we know it’s not random, and we know that weather is sent to cause us to respond to God in humility, awe, and repentance.

Translation: God is sending devastating weather because some of you don’t live a joyless, repressed life full of torment and guilt. I’m sure those affected by Harvey and Irma are happy to know it was all their fault.

How much longer do we have to endure this attention-sucking sad-ass? How much longer are we going to have to pay for Kurt not being able to make the jump from sitcoms to movies? HOW MUCH LONGER ARE WE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY FOR KIRK KEEPING A JEALOUSY DART BOARD WITH A PICTURE OF GEORGE CLOONEY TACKED TO IT OVER HIS BIBLE-SHAPED BED WITH THE CENTER FENCING TO PREVENT HE AND HIS WIFE FROM HAVING SEX NOT INTENDED FOR PROCREATION? Kirk, have a Jared special (the sub, not underaged girls) and STFU.

If you want a laugh, watch below.

Pic: Facebook

25 Comments

  1. No it was to punish Nazis derp https://uploads.disquscdn.c

  2. playa's dire twat

    I tend to keep people up til absurd hours of the morning 😄

    And I think I learned the answer to that one in my youth as well, but fucked if I can remember it now.

  3. wikipediabrown

    works for a penis!

  4. When Jesus was still alive, it was a fish.

  5. I am pretty sure I was taught the answer to why didn’t God give us all eternal life in my church days and if I am up at four in the morning trying to remember it I’m holding you accountable 😛

  6. Came here to share this thought. I’ve never understood Christians who think God is talking to everybody else.

  7. The Bad Slayer

    Im telling you, religion is wacky.

  8. The Bad Slayer

    Everyday.

  9. Gary Burnaska

    Why is this assclown news? He has not been relevant since Growing Pains.

  10. PinkIsTheBlondeofColors

    “It’s not global warming! It’s just God teaching us humility!” Nah it’s the Earth trying to purge the problem.

  11. Upside-down Flower

    Does this fool even have a following? I mean with people that believe his shit, not the people who mock him.

    Where’s your church of crazy Kirk? I’d like to see the parade of desperate cult members that show up.

  12. Upside-down Flower

    Here’s a questions for hypocritical “Christians”. How did the people they hate and despise get here?

  13. playa's dire twat

    Joel Osteen is one of the bigger names of that nasty movement, and they’re getting richer and richer while their congregations spend themselves into oblivion. It’s foul.

  14. Upside-down Flower

    This is the saddest dinner ever. At least Kirk has a cake with sprinkles.

    http://cs8.pikabu.ru/post_i

  15. if God sent the hurricane, why did the Evangelical churches close its doors to victims, whilst the mosques and synagogues opened their door?

    I’m so fucking sick and tired of these so called Christian hypocrites who talk about how they are closer to god and how evil the rest of us are, yet these same fuckers have nothing in their hearts but darkness.

    fuck off kirk cameron, you are lucky the hurricane didn’t take your life.

    you vile piece of shit, have some kindness in your heart, show some compassion for the victims who have lost everything, you fucking asshole. I hope when your time comes, if there is a hell, i hope you burn there for eternity.

    i’ll see you there bitch.

  16. Upside-down Flower

    He’s showing humility by taking a foot long. He also snuck some sips out of the communal juice bottle.

  17. Upside-down Flower

    I wish he would take the vow of silence, because, Silence is Golden, Kirk.

  18. It’s Rex Manning Day, in my heart.

  19. Upside-down Flower

    Is his birthday coming up?

  20. Upside-down Flower

    And science. Meteorology. Look it up read about it, Kirky.

  21. Upside-down Flower

    A college education (where ever it is) doesn’t guarantee a college educated adult with common sense and well spoken will graduate. Case in point….Drumpf. Daddy bought his education as I’m sure he did for his kids. They have no idea of work to succeed in reality.

  22. No, Kirk, if God is sending a message the message is obviously you’re not taking care of the world like I told you to. Global warming is real, quit destroying the earth I gave you.

  23. Upside-down Flower

    WE.ARE.DOOMED if he doesn’t stop talking!

  24. Upside-down Flower

    Damn those suffering babies and little kids with their cute little faces. They don’t fool me.

  25. Upside-down Flower

    He’s completely delusional. What drugs did he take during the show he was on (I completely forgot the name).

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