Open Post: Hosted By Grace Jones At Your Funeral

When you’re a naive 9-year-old and you’re jammin’ in your jammies to “Pull Up To The Bumper” by the legendary Grace Jones, you might not realize until, I don’t know, 15-20 years later, that that song is HELLA dirty. And then you’re all like, “Oh snap, bumper…doesn’t mean like car bumper and the big black limousine is… Oh no she didn’t!” Well, it’s Grace Jones so of course she did. Now I finally figured out what “PUTTB” is about, but all these years later I’m still scratching my head over “Nipple to the Bottle.” But it really doesn’t matter. I’m happy to just jam in my jammies while Grace gives me life.

Grace, who is 69 (69! Your memaw could never) was at the TIFF premiere of the documentary about herself called Grace Jones: Bloodlight and Bami yesterday. She showed up looking like she just put her third billionaire husband in the ground and had to hurry up about it because she had another party immediately following the reading of the will. And yes, in this scenario, she got EVERYTHING, naturally.

Nobody, I mean NO. BOD. Y. gives face like Grace, and she’s serving it up to you on a silver platter held by her own personal coke valet. This bitch is iconic.



  1. Spray on abs

    Hope the whore Irma will tucker out and call it a day…after she takes out Mar Lardo.

  2. I have friends stuck in South Florida. Waited a day too late to get out and now the roads are a parking lot. They said they had plenty of booze, water and canned goods. Hopefully this whore Irma will take a nap.

  3. Spray on abs

    Fingers crossed for Cindy. No sleeping beauty for me tonight.

  4. The horror. The thought of Cindy hunkering down in her castle. No wonder I have insomnia.

  5. Spray on abs

    No Goober, NOOOO!

  6. Award for what? Whoriest whore in whoreville?

  7. Disney World is closed. This shit is serious.

  8. So sorry. Have you tried ginger?

  9. Kendull got the award


    The woman next to her is suppose to be a stylist.


    And Ashley is officially a trash whore like the trash family.


  10. Nutella on a spoon is delicious.

  11. Are there really people that don’t believe? Have they been locked in a basement for the last decade?

  12. Ana Filipovic

    I am so ready for preggo sicknesses to end. I feel like only the Duchess of Cambridge understands me. And what they dont tell you is the “morning” sickness is a lie cause it lasts whole fucking day, sometimes even night. motherf***

  13. At least it’s not Leo.

  14. Yeah. If Hillary was President, climate change would’ve come to a screeching halt in mid January.

  15. Ana Filipovic

    what?! just eat it, no chaser! this is non issue! I drank my last jar in matter of 2 days

  16. Spray on abs


  17. Word, and I’m in the bluff, which is basically a sandbar with homes. Heavy rains for the last few Mays have completely flooded us in… here’s Pig a few days after we flooded checking out his lakefront property https://uploads.disquscdn.c

  18. Mr Sea comes home, he’s refusing to watch Deep Blue Sea with me for the 50th time, and he’s kind of a channel flipper (aren’t most men?!)… anyway, end up on “Avalanche Sharks” (just… dont, it’s awful). Sexy times in sues bc this movie is so fucking bad. Now he’s fast asleep… so Deep Blue it is! My ingenious plan worked. Just to watch CGI sharks, I know, I’m terrible https://uploads.disquscdn.c

    Anyway, can’t wait to do a castor/coconut oil treatment on my hair soon. Feeling old

  19. Dirk'sVT, PhD

    Corpus was prone to flooding way back when. No real drainage systems were in place.

  20. As someone who often deals with flooding, I can kind of understand. Our toilets are usually the first to back up and spill right as the water comes pouring into the house :/ We ALWAYS have a few gallons of bleach as well as drinking water. Good times.

  21. I think this could also just be God punishing us. (My Catholicism is flaring up again.)

  22. So in an episode of casual you can see the stand ins in some scenes and they get dialogue it’s such a mindfuck. Midscene it just switches from the actors to the stand ins

  23. You can lose weight but you can’t replace your lungs! Eat as much Haagen Dazs as you need!

  24. That’s how a lot of them work, unfortunately. In addition to the sneaky agenda aspect, I think it sometimes also has to do with time and efficiency. Like it would be really hard to introduce, review and vote on all these things separately so they just lump them all together. But I mostly the sneaky thing.

  25. Wow. That is surreal to read that Ms. Grace Jones is 69 years old. We saw her perform at Rage in West Hollywood back in the 90’s and her show was over the top to die for.

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