Miranda Kerr Really Likes Playing Sexy June Cleaver

It might be Fashion Week in New York, but not for Miranda Kerr. In fact, you should be grateful she even showed up for your silly digital magazine’s fashion shoot, Net-a-Porter. Because People magazine says Miranda recently admitted during an interview with Net-a-Porter’s The Edit that she’s stepping back from modeling. And it’s all thanks to her GAZILLIONARE husband, Snapchat CEO Evan Spiegel.

Sadly, Miranda isn’t doing what I would do and claim that I must live my truth of sitting around, watching Oprah’s Masterclass and toking up all day because, well, I’m married to a billionaire. Nah, she’s stepping back because she wants to focus on her organic skincare line, Kora Organics. Miranda says:

“I’ve modeled for 20 years, it’s just not a priority anymore. Now, if an opportunity comes up, I think, ‘Is this in the best interest of my family?’ and ‘Will this interrupt Kora?’ If it passes through those two gates, and if the shoot’s in LA, then…”

Apologies to the Scranton fashion community; I guess you won’t be seeing Miranda anytime soon.

Miranda also reveals how her grandma is one sharp tack and taught her something none of us knew before:

“My grandma taught me that men are visual and you need to make a little effort.”

I would never have guessed a dude liked to see some perky boobies had you not brought it up! Miranda then goes on to talk about how she gets gussied up and lights candles and has a nice dinner and “slips into my feminine” while she empowers Evan to be “in his masculine.” Da fuq? Does that mean Miranda shimmies into a nightie, while Evan unbuttons his jeans, guzzles down a Colt 45, and spends the rest of the night burping away while watching SportsCenter?

People points out that Miranda said pretty much the same shit when she was married to Orlando Bloom, like that it was important to let the man be the Alpha while at home. If any of you dear readers hail from Scotland, you really should keep a watch on the countryside. Miranda sounds like she really wants to be that chick from Outlander and fall through the magical stones and wind up back in the Medieval times!

But if Miranda is putting in all the work to don her pearls and dinner dress to get a perfect supper ready for Ward, Beaver, and the other one, Evan better take care of dessert. And by dessert, I mean pour the port wine and offer up a nice helping of dick. Oh, and 10,000 shares of Snapchat. It’s whaaaat a girl waaaants!

Pic: Wenn.com

25 Comments

  1. Nothing abot Miranda Kerr is sexy. Every shoe faced or horse faced white girl can be a model as long as she has the body of a twelve year old.

  2. Aunt Hatties Buns

    Gorgeous?? I swear I’m trying to see it!!

  3. Aunt Hatties Buns

    Who does she think she Is? Gwyneth Paltrow?!!

  4. Aunt Hatties Buns

    HOT???

  5. Aunt Hatties Buns

    I thought toddler face meant round full face? She isn’t pretty at all in my opinion.

  6. Aunt Hatties Buns

    Can we blame Ryan Seacrest for this one too? And her face…I just can’t.

  7. wikipediabrown

    good god! can’t he buy a suit that fits?? the sleeves are way too long. he looks as if he’s playing dress up.

  8. Kerr’s skincare line is probably her aging model job. If you look at the video of her hawking her stuff, she’s starting to lose her toddler face and look more fuller faced. She also looks really overly moisturized or oily. I wouldn’t buy her stuff based on her ad at all. She also says the “positive words of affirmation” on the back of each product are part of what makes her line unique.
    https://www.youtube.com/wat

  9. Upside-down Flower

    Granny sounds like a dumb whore.

    ““My grandma taught me that men are visual and you need to make a little effort.”

    That family just oozes brain power.

  10. Upside-down Flower

    Wow! She is so wise to have her priorities line up by a drunken frat boy.

    Now, if an opportunity comes up, I think, ‘Is this in the best interest of my family?’ and ‘Will this interrupt Kora?’ If it passes through those two gates, and if the shoot’s in LA, then…”

    It’s fucking modeling! How can anything more important or be in the best interest of your sham family and crappy skin care line than your billionaire husband, and oh, your kid be more important!?

    I hate that people think modeling is so important and art. Mannequins do it for cheap and their intelligence is lit’rilly MENSA level. Hangers do a better job.

  11. ThenTheLordMadeYolettie

    Well, weren’t they not doing it until marriage? 🙄 So shes a little behind. Lol

  12. ThenTheLordMadeYolettie

    I think that’s with a kid…..otherwise 3, tops?

  13. I apologise!! 😀 Look away!

  14. ThenTheLordMadeYolettie

    Holy mother of fucking God, why???????????? What and why?!?!?!!??!?! I can’t.

    ETA wtf is that???

  15. Upside-down Flower

    Mark Zuckerberg has the personality of yarn.

  16. my apologies, I’m pure evil! It won’t remove!

  17. Upside-down Flower

    I have an uncle who has a hook nose (wider) and believe me….EVAN IS HANDSOME compared to that lousy asswipe.

  18. heheheh yeah! 😀

  19. Upside-down Flower

    What do his parents and siblings look like?

  20. hahahaha

  21. Upside-down Flower

    Miranda is just starting out. Can’t expect success in the beginning of Gold-Gigging Whoredoom (typo stays) – where Miranda is Queen.

  22. Upside-down Flower

    A fantastic personality and niceness can make a whole difference in making someone who isn’t maybe nice looking into being beautiful or handsome and being the total opposite can make a person who is good looking into a totally nasty and really vile ugly troll.

  23. He’s that guy Mariah Carey nearly married too. 🙂 He’s kind of an ass. He was born into money.

  24. Its called trypophobia

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