Derek Jeter Is A Daddy Now

TMZ says that at long last, retired New York Yankee Derek Jeter and his model wife Hannah Davis are parents. 27-year-old Hannah gave birth to 43-year-old Derek Jeter’s first kid yesterday, a little girl named Bella Raine Jeter.

The New York Yankees congratulated them on Twitter with a GIF of Derek tonguing the corner of his mouth as if to think, “Shoot, I hope that’s a pretzel crumb.

Nothing else is known about Baby Bella Jeter. Did Derek present Hannah’s womb with a thank-you gift basket for all its hard work when it was done? Will Derek Jeter soothe the baby to sleep at night by singing her a lullaby-ized version of the Derek Jeter’s Taco Hole jingle?

But let’s talk about that name! Bella feels like this generations Michelle (which I guess would make Sophia the Jennifer and Ava the Ashley?), so I’m not surprised they went with something so common. Thank goodness they got a little creative with that middle name. It’s not just Rain, it’s Raine with an extra-classy E thrown on the end. Bella Raine sounds like a brand of complimentary toiletries that you can only get at a hotel that also has room service and a business center. It also sounds like a box of drugstore hair dye that comes with not one, but two tubes of conditioner. Two conditioners is your sign that you’re using the Lexus of at-home hair color. Or at least the used car lot Lexus with only 60,000 miles and minor scratches of hair color.



  1. Oooh I’ll have to ask about that one.

    He was treated at NYU in the urology department one time by someone I know. I’m technically not supposed to know about that cuz confidentiality and junk, but the person doesn’t work there anymore sooo yeah lol

  2. Congrats! As a Red Sox Fan, Jeter is the one Yankee I respect.

  3. Joker Chick

    Omg, I can’t 😍

  4. and waffles!

  5. Can everyone stop naming their daughters and dogs Bella.

  6. hope the baby gets her looks. he looks like a potato.

  7. Upside-down Flower

    Has DJ ever dated any young young woman who had a pudgy belly and flab? I’m sure his “dating contracts” were specific in what was approved and what would definitely terminate the contract faster than he can spread herpes to the next contract girl friend in line.

  8. Upside-down Flower

    Even a light wavy style pulled loosely into a low bun or ponytail would work, too.

    I just realized……….that little baby is going to have alot of forehead space. I hope she looks good in bangs.

  9. Upside-down Flower

    The dress is very pretty. That’s the best part of that picture.

    I have to say (okay, I don’t have to, but I need to) that she reminds me of the equine SJP. And that oil slick hair is not a choice anyone should make. It only worked for Gordon Gekko because he’s sleazy & greedy.

  10. Upside-down Flower

    Don’t forget she will also, most likely, have pretty eyes. Eyes that she will most likely use to manipulate to get “what Bella wants and wants NOW!”

  11. Upside-down Flower

    So are nannies.

  12. Upside-down Flower

    Hot only during flare-ups.

    They both always seemed to me not to be hot and more like creepy serial daters to make themselves desperately attractive. Their relationships never seemed to have a speck of commitment or any kind of chemistry. Not even friendship.

    However, ARod always seems alot more sleazy, creepy and always on the lookout for the next gf du jour.
    He never seemed to be the loyal committed and devoted family man when out with his wife and family.

  13. Upside-down Flower

    Only a mother who takes absolute precautions for caring about their childrens’ well-being and health above their own ego would do so.

    But, they could have had a surrogate to make 100% baby is healthy and uninfected.

  14. Upside-down Flower

    Knowledge is power.

  15. Upside-down Flower

    So, he married a woman who could be his daughter and now he has a daughter who could be his granddaughter.

  16. Upside-down Flower

    That chart is making my head hurt.

    It’s like a Hollywood Relationship Circle of Incest.

  17. Upside-down Flower

    YIPPY! Another future famewhoring lazy entitled daughter riding the coattails of her parents to gain FB, Instagram, Twitter fame for attention whoring.

  18. Upside-down Flower

    I have always thought he was gay. Still do.

    Dating every woman he could that never (at least to me) seemed genuinely (I’m sure for the barely legal girls it was only genuine that hey were hoping to elevate their ambiguous careers of gold digging and bank accounts) in love. NO CHEMISTRY AT ALL!

    That’s the big fat negative of “contract girlfriends”, it’s just business. Not personal.

  19. Literarylioness

    I guess the wife had to have a c-section, since I’m sure she now shares Jeter’s herp problem.

  20. Literarylioness

    What about his herpes problem?

  21. craigypants

    the mans a slut.

  22. DO tell…!!

  23. thunderstorm

    I think both of those are names of Tawny Kitaen’s kids.

  24. I get him and the guy JLo is dating confused.

  25. Dion flowerboy

    Jeets doesn’t need my congrats since he’s had most of the celebrity female population and jocksniffers of the baseball world fellating him since the late Nineties.

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