July’s Hot Slut Of The Month Is…..

The spectacular diving board brows that snatched away every spotlight from Jabba the Trump during his press conference on healthcare!

When July’s Hot Slut of the Month showdown started, I prayed to the Hot Slut gods to make it a tie between the show-stealing bug antenna brows of my dreams and the First Lady of Japan. It was close for a quick second, but in the end, the title went to the perfect pair of long division brows that every math teacher should paint on their faces if they want their students to take them seriously as an authority on arithmetic. If Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting was a chola, not only would he be a zillion times more interesting, but he’d have brows like that.

Last month, the gorgeous garden hoe brows on the face of an “Obamacare victim” became the only good thing that Jabba the Trump has ever given. As he caca’d at the mouth about healthcare, those brows caught the attention of every pair of eyes watching. And this month, those same stunning brows earned the most votes from you hos and is now our reigning Hot Slut of the Month. The brows that perfectly expressed our feelings about Trump got 36% of the votes, beating out the first lady of my heart, Akie Abe (31%), Elishaly D’witshes (21%) and the Air Peddling Husky (12%). If we don’t get nuked to Jesus by January (Side note: those brows will survive the nuclear war and live forever), those brows will battle it out in the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals. And now let’s all raise a fine point Sharpie and salute our new HSOTM!

Thanks to everyone who voted!

Pic: YouTube/Dreamstime

25 Comments

  1. The look of woe is purely due to her eyebrows! I guess she got sick of making the expression, and found a shortcut.

  2. Juan Carlos

    Amen to that!! That’s for damn sure !!

  3. Juan Carlos

    I want them to do a sit down interview with this woman, because I can guarantee you one thing, she is dumb as fuck, and that goes without saying for her entire dumb as fuck family as well.

  4. Mybodyweary

    I suppose Obamacare is the one to blame for those brows?

  5. GothyMcGotha

    Cousin and wife because that’s how they roll.

  6. GothyMcGotha

    I don’t think they can see properly from being so far up his ass. His colon is blurring their vision.

  7. anonymousey

    lmao at that pic!
    she got 36% of the vote.
    i think that might be more popular than trump at the moment.

  8. Patchcord Adams

    Agreed. She and her brows are part of the reason why this entire country is in the shitter.

  9. Mrs. Iris Rainbird

    And there she is Mango Mussolini’s woeful “victim of Obamacare” trying her best to send out the perfect look of consternation and concern.

    I think her eyebrows semaphored the wrong signal because the message I got was one of extreme “constipation” instead.

    Mussolini needs some Colon Blow.

  10. I keep thinking she looks like Pedo Duggar’s wife. It would be awesome if she turns out to be a relative or something. All the pieces of the puzzle would fit.

  11. It was just the eyebrows that won. That Sharpie marker didn’t know it was going to be used on some heinous bitch’s face.

    Won’t someone think of the Sharpie Markers?!?!??

  12. LoopyGorilla

    oh Im sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy the exquisite eye brows lady won!!!

    bless her

  13. ⛱👙BishStoleMyLook 🐳☀️

    Here in the South we say “bless her heart” when we can say nothing else. So eyebrow girl, bless your heart. Lol.

  14. TheShowgirl

    I love that every human thing Trump tries to do ends up janky as fuck. He’s desperately trying to pull at heartstrings so he gets a young, fairly attractive sympathetic woman to be a “victim of Obamacare” – hires a broad whose ratchet ass eyebrows become the hilarious focus.

    How did no one on his team see her and go, “No, wait! Her fucking brows are weird!! The internet will roast this woman!”

  15. Dingle Barry

    Meanwhile in Siberia, her old eyebrows have been spotted: https://uploads.disquscdn.c

  16. The eyebrows are bad, the look of woe on her face is worse.

    Maybe I’m just a bitch(🙄)but I really want to wipe that look off her face. Then I’d go to town on those eyebrows.

    Anyone got some sandpaper?

  17. Seapharris7

    No Trump supporter or associate should be Hot Slut. Ever.

  18. Carbon Based Lifeform

    MK’s Photoshop skillz have improved…

  19. Juan Carlos

    She’s thinking I have looked like this for the past 27 years why has no one said anything about any of this shit to me until now?

  20. Dion flowerboy

    She was okay with walking in public looking like that, so everyone wins.

  21. Congrats to long division brows on HSOTM. She’s not a victim of Obamacare, just her own crazy.

  22. err nope…not all of us…speak for yourself 😜

  23. one has to question the sanity of someone who looks in the mirror and thinks those crayon traces look good or natural. https://uploads.disquscdn.c

  24. Dingle Barry

    Permanent marker is like stupid. It’s forever.

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