Robert Pattinson Just Wants To Be Mysterious And Misunderstood

Here are some of the things I know about Robert Pattinson: He played the sedated-faced vampire in Twilight. He was in one of the Happy Potter movies (I think he played a character named Diggory Sled?). He’s “kind-of” engaged to FKA Twigs. He gets terrible hair cuts. According to Robert Pattinson, I know too much!

Robert recently did an interview with GQ to promote his latest serious actor role in the film Good Time. Robert apparently wanted to do very cool, out-there shit with his interviewer, Taffy Brodesser-Akner. Stuff like going on an ayahuasca trip, swimming with sharks, and something called a fecal-matter transplant that Robert Pattinson was very enthusiastic about. You’d think that spending so many years attached to the Twilight franchise would kill his desire to be stuck with someone else’s shit, but apparently not.

They didn’t end up doing any of that. All they did was talk over coffee about this and that, but they didn’t get too personal. Robert Pattinson is only talking because he’s contractually obligated to do so in order to promote a movie.

“It’s technically part of my job, but I’ve never been very good at it. I’ve never been that concerned if someone sees the movie…If I could stay silent, I would.”

He tries to make a point in interviews of saying nothing that isn’t already known: “I always think the risk reward is very much weighted in the wrong direction.”

When pushed further for a more intimate conversation, Robert Pattinson doesn’t give in, because he’s not interested in that. Robert Pattinson is an enigma, wrapped in deep thoughts, stuffed into expensive clothes, spritzed with the emotions of an angsty art school teen.

“I don’t. I want to be misunderstood. People are always changing, and the more you put something down in print, people form opinions and they’re constantly creating who they think you are. If you do something that contradicts that, or if you do something which goes out of that box, then you can look like a liar or something like that.”

Robert also says he’s glad he’s not as popular with the paps as he once was, and he has a bunch of Instagram celebrities to thank for that.

Tabloids camped outside his home. “People were like, ‘It’s fine, who cares? They’re just photos or whatever.’ They’ll say, ‘Just live your life.’ But that’s not life for me, if someone’s observing it.” He thinks Instagram has taken the heat off of him; it’s taken some of the fire out of the tabloids pursuit of movie stars. Now they chase the Insta-models and reality stars.

Literally the only personal, groundbreaking thing Robert Pattinson said was that Waterworld is one of the “greatest movies ever made.” Oh Robert. There’s no misunderstanding there. Talking about Waterworld like that makes it crystal clear you have terrible taste in 90s movies.

Pic: Daniel Jackson/GQ



    He is not my type at all but weirdly in some pics he looks good

  2. Spray on abs

    Bingo. Unfortunately with success you become a product. Along with all the trappings.

  3. Gidget Castrillon

    If that’s what he wants, then he’s not lonely. If that’s only what he says he wants, then he’s regurgitating Ewan McGregor’s lines in Shallow Grave. I can’t imagine why he’d do something like that, though, being so deep and mysterious.

  4. You made enough money to retire rich by the time you were 25. If you don’t like the attention and press but are such a passionate actor move back to London and just do theater. You’ll get work, you’ll act, but nobody will care.

  5. craigypants

    Rob. This isn’t Sunset Boulevard.
    Mysterious and misunderstood = Dull, boring, uninteresting, lazy.

  6. Dirk'sVT, PhD

    Oh, dog anal glands go way behind muskiness. I thought I was gonna die when my sister’s dog ..released the contents.

  7. Trash Panda

    Not in a good way. I think of a poodle’s clogged up anal glands.

  8. Mrs. Iris Rainbird

    Is that Mr. Pattinson and his ex-girlfriend? I’m guessing he’s the chunkier foot face?

  9. Trash Panda

    Love child of The Cure’s Robert Smith and Lurch from the Addams Family (original). He looks batshit.

  10. Trash Panda

    I think he looks derp.

  11. That’s true

  12. IchLiebeDanielBruehl

    Look… better than Bella Thorne.

  13. Lainey, who I have lots of issues with, actually had a great take down of this interview.

  14. Baby polar bear!!!!<3 <3 <3

  15. VeryOldSyntheticBabyBat

    @LaChay .. can’t stop giggling .. Robert Pattison shall be forevermore referrred to as
    Foot Face. That’s too perfect .. I keep going
    Back to read your Foot Face post.. https://uploads.disquscdn.c

  16. Terrible but hilarious!!! Almost choked laughing.

  17. Joker Chick

    🤔😕…meh, fuck it.

  18. Surely_Funke

    I think he looks hot in that pic

    ::ducks for cover::

  19. Dingle Barry

    Instead he’s known for his stench and smug.

  20. Sometimes his photos are rather unfortunate looking, this one is good! He doesn’t make me stabby. That’s a compliment, right?

  21. I still would, all day, erry day. Is unfortunate that he got his teef fixed, though, they were cute.

  22. I haven’t got anything against him (unlike the dog he left hanging) but really-YOU ARE NOT EVER GOING TO BE LEFT ALONE YOU WERE A GLITTERED UP VAMPIRE!!!!!!!!! Jesus, get over it, Sparkles. Just make money and enjoy having a beautiful accent. Life is soft for you.

  23. DuchessGummyBuns

    at least he looks somewhat lucid.

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