Open Post: Hosted By Sharon Stone’s Beaverless Basic Instinct Audition Reel

Horribly mediocre actress Sharon Stone is never one to abide by rules. Sharon seems like the type of fun aunt who doesn’t want to put a bartender out, so she just reaches behind the bar and takes the bottle of Arbor Mist from the top shelf (where it belongs) and flashes the bartender a smile and says, “Put it on my tab, Biff” even though he’s told her eight times his name is actually “Chad.” Oh, Shay shay.

She’s also one of those who makes every day throwback Thursday, so she celebrated “Wayback Wednesday” yesterday by throwing up her Basic Instinct audition tape on Twitter:

Virginia Slims! Coke! Teased hair! All it’s missing is an O.J. Simpson Hertz commercial playing in the background for us to get true early 90s feels!

Entertainment Weekly says the voice is director Paul Verhoeven standing in for Michael Douglas. She taunts and teases and jokes how a lover used to call her “bitch, mostly” (same!) and goes through more personalities in that one-minute clip than Toni Colette did in the entire United States Of Tara series run. That’s all fine and well, but where is her snatch?! That puss peek is what made that movie! Nobody keeps that movie on until they see her in the interrogation room answering a question by flashing some Mensa-lying beef curtains… well, maybe that and Michael’s plunging, bosom-baring V-necks.

Pic: Wenn.com

25 Comments

  1. This is incredibly fascinating to me. I kind of want to embark on a Nancy-Drew type investigation on your behalf. I’ve done some things in motels and still appear to be allowed in all of them (although I don’t think I can rent vehicles in Wales anymore)

  2. Spray on abs

    Why is she wearing a golden bonnet?

  3. yummm can you make me one!!

  4. Spray on abs

    Remarkably similar for me. My first place was 100 yards from the beach. I shared a 2 bedroom apt for $150 a month. Next I moved to what was a skuzzy surf town that is now luxury homes and condos…same scenario…upscale shops with nothing to offer locals.

  5. The punchline, for me, is that I grew up on the East Coast in what used to be an industrial area. Then someone realized it was near the beach. So I couldn’t *really* pack up & go home either…can’t afford it there , too.

    The last time I was back east it was so funny. Everything that used to be a market or laundromat? Now a dayspa or cupcake bakery. Just sooo weird.

  6. Lefemmenikita

    Between those and the Jolie/Pitt posts…..

    http://i.imgur.com/b99YhWZ.gif

  7. Spray on abs

    I found out there is a difference between falling asleep and passing out. I am ok with both.

  8. Spray on abs

    That doggy needs some cheese.

  9. Spray on abs

    I live in Northern California and I will never be able to afford a home where I have lived for over 40 years. My friends children can’t afford to live where they have grown up. Fuck.

  10. lol….his little face is everything!!

  11. MISSJANETEXAS

    I love Texas but alas probably not.

  12. Good point. I think I’m scarred by all the Dave Ramsey stuff I’m reading, LOL. About the power of compound interest and falling behind in the savings department.

    I will never be able to afford a home in LA County, I may as well just accept that now.

  13. David Duke dick likes Cabbage Patch.

  14. Fuel truck incident.

  15. Hvala

  16. It would keep your butt warm if you had to sit on cold bleachers

  17. And then you suddenly have to poop.

  18. CaliCheeseSucks

    Ugh.

  19. MISSJANETEXAS

    They’ve been here all week

  20. CaliCheeseSucks

    I made it maybe fifty comments deep and gave up. It’s just a fly strip for trashing Heard by a bunch of nobody commenters.

  21. I am afraid to look.

  22. CaliCheeseSucks

    Holy shit, who the fuck are all those loons in the Heard/Musk post?

    http://i.imgur.com/Z2DktTc.gif

  23. Sneaky pantsuit

    I grew up with those as an accessory item in a lot of trucks, but not so common anymore.

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