Nikki Reed And Ian Somerhalder’s Vow Of Silence Just Began

Those two vampires didn’t get much lead time on their 30-day hush-a-thon. E! News reports Nikki Reed gave birth July 25th to her and Ian Somerholder‘s baby. All I can think, is that it came out with vamp fangs and a tongue ring (like she had in Thirteen). Nikki put Gwyneth Paltrow to shame in the “say whaaaa?” department in that interview with Fit Pregnancy, where she said the baby’s first 30 days would be spent “fully present” with just the three of them without phones or visitors.

But, like, how’s the baby supposed to check Twitter? And how in the hell did people find out she gave birth?! Oh, don’t look at me like that. If you’re going to go 30 days sans phone, you’re also probably the type to give birth at home in the bathtub with just incense and a Yanni CD playing in the background in lieu of the good drugs. Ian’s Instagram post announcing the birth may as well automatically come with “Kumbaya” as a backing track:

Their new baby girl is named… wait for it… Bodhi Soleil Reed Somerhalder. Hahaha, remember when Soleil Moon Frye was a wacky name? She’s been relegated to Becky status with this one. Poor Bodhi came out the womb, already dreading when she has to scribble out her name on spelling tests. She’ll just be coming to “-halder” by the time everyone has packed up and headed to recess!

Pic: Wenn.com

25 Comments

  1. TheBluebirdOfCrappiness

    what a couple of dicks

  2. I think he might live in a wind tunnel

  3. The Stevia version of Rob Lowe? and…someone.

  4. Yes

  5. craigypants

    Sorry, no idea.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.c

  6. Mrs. Iris Rainbird

    Projectile vomiting is always a good test, along with the green apple quickstep on the pre-baby decor.

  7. I don’t mind scruffy or some hair but what had happened to his face? Before the jaw implants nose and eye surgeries.

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-F

  8. Was.

  9. Mrs. Iris Rainbird

    He was pretty until he went off script.

  10. Was he in a car accident or fire?

  11. Why does his face look like it’s melting?

    https://www.out.com/sites/o

  12. Barbra Please

    He’s just one more bad facelift away from completely elegant natural looks of porn star Michael Lucas

    https://uploads.disquscdn.c

  13. Barbra Please

    Agreed. He looks botched compared to the way I remember him. Facelift gone balls up?

  14. Barbra Please

    was thinking the same thing – something really weird going on with his face in that pic. Maybe it’s just an unflattering angle?

  15. BloodSweat&Tea

    Ted Cruz.

  16. BloodSweat&Tea

    I personally was planning on giving her some cash and a hug and a beautiful bouquet of flowers but NOW my plans are thwarted!

  17. Mother Shabubu

    Didn’t Megan Fox?

  18. ☘️🍀ℱїḓḓℓεÐεεÐεe🍀☘️

    All good, no worries. 🙂

  19. FUCK THEM BOTH.

  20. Totally forgot about that 🙂

  21. Shenanigans

    Damn. She was also dating rob (or boning him on the side) when Kristen went in for the kill 😂

  22. That’s as good a reason as any to hate her but wasn’t she also friends with his ex-gf and than started dating him?

  23. That baby is terrifying and her acting is wooden as hell

  24. Shenanigans

    Thats the norm in a lot of middle eastern and south east asian countries as well. 40 days. The woman spends time with the baby and recovers from child birth.

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