Amber Heard And Elon Musk Broke Up, But A Girl Has Needs!

It’s been all of a minute since Amber Heard and billionaire Elon Musk broke up, but farted out that “we remain close” shit that is the perpetual epilogue of a Hollywood love story. I remain close with that 20-piece chicken McNugget meal I had at McDonalds for lunch, but that doesn’t mean I’m still gonna see it around! God, I need Jenny Craig. Anyway, Amb and El apparently meant it because they both have been emo on social media about still hanging out.

MTV says the two were spotted this morning cuddling and kissing at a cafe in Australia. Gross. I scoped out the menu for this place, and it looks like they have a jammin’ breakfast offering:

Those poor Aussies just wanted to get up, spin around their bedroom to Kylie Minogue‘s “Spinnin’ Around” (isn’t that the official Australian wake-up routine?), and go grab that cholesterol-packed sourdough bowl. But nooooo. They had to see some movie STAH suck face with that dude responsible for all the front parking spots at Target reserved for electric shit. Speaking of, Elon apparently let Amber drive his Tesla post-brekkie. What was this?! Back for round two?? Nah, you can see how fattening that sourdough bowl looks. They were definitely going to go work off calories with some mid-morning boinking.

Pic: Wenn.com

25 Comments

  1. I got the 404 error frequently. I use now a different browser for Dlisted and it stopped. I am totally ignorant when it comes to phones, I don’t know whether you can use different browsers.

  2. Holy shit thats horrible and if im getting it right that put if prison relative might be one of her kids dad?If so Sick

  3. That is such eek nast and drama. hope your friends likes it cause its coming his way fast!

  4. Clever Moniker

    I want that breakfast bread bowl in my mouth RIGHT NOW. That is all. I NO CURR about Amber or Elon. I’m all about that bread bowl.

  5. CaliCheeseSucks

    Oh FFS. Go back to whatever batshit crazy Deppstan site you slithered away from.

  6. Ryan Stiles is amazing. :3 Much more interesting than these two boring fucks

  7. monkeysntypewriters

    Her dead eyes are scary and the rest of her features are — well, pretty featureless.

  8. GothyMcGotha

    Female dog=bitch.

  9. GothyMcGotha

    She always reminds me of American Apparel models with dirty blonde hair and wearing a leotard or someone who would have been Kelly Bundy’s friend on Married with Children.

  10. GothyMcGotha

    I would love to see a video of airport security saying “you all are welcome here…except you. You’re a bitch” while sending her ass back on the next plane outta their country.

  11. The thought of Elon being horny is ewwww!

  12. Nope. I’ve seen the pre-hairplug photos. Hells no.

  13. The Infamous 001

    She really is plain. She her in person without the red carpet makeup and you’d walk right past her. Yawn.

  14. The Infamous 001

    Here’s a fun throw back to when Amber was more honest about her fame whoring, messy ass. Make no mistake she loves the damn drama.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.c

  15. The Infamous 001

    Oh she fucking loves this drama.

  16. I’ve known people who have had second thoughts about going on vacation because of their starters. They had friends come to water plants and feed their starters, with elaborate instructions (OCD parents leave babysitters less verbiage than this). Yours lived a long life!

  17. The Infamous 001

    I won’t cause I have money on it. Divorcing him won’t go well. She’ll have to get that prenup tossed one way. Ahem abuse. Again.

  18. The Infamous 001

    yep. She is letting him THINK he is calling the shots. Let him feel like he’s the alpha. She’s going for the kill.

  19. The Infamous 001

    Nah she played her sob story act and he bought into it. Again. She’s going for the kill. And she loves this shit.

  20. The Infamous 001

    Proving he’s a dumbass and she is in fact a malnipulative cunt. Since between posting on social media that they broke up cause of distance, she then posts her sob story about difficult times, he hops on a plane to have breakfast with her.

    Yuuuup this shit will get messy. She’s going for the anchor baby money.

  21. She’s as plain as vanilla ice cream.

  22. Carbon Based Lifeform

    As I recall, their starter is from a fairly old batch. Their products are generally very good. Mine survived several near deaths; it always made me think of the stories about miners and homesteaders sleeping with their starter in the winter to keep it from freezing.

  23. Carbon Based Lifeform

    It was a sad situation, with three utterly dysfunctional generations and constant poor choices. 8 kids? Yeah, seems like a good idea to allow a relative just out of prison for child molestation to move in. 8 kids? Lets get a badly bred, untrained wolf/Rot/Pit mix dog for them to play with, and be surprised when it bites. 8 kids? Bring home fast food three times a day because you don’t cook and then complain that there’s never any money.

  24. CookieGugglemanFleck

    Of course Australians would pair mozzarella with chorizo and ranchero sauce. They can always be counted on to make the US look sophisticated.

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