Legally Speaking, Usher’s Alleged Herpes Is The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Anyone who’s got something fiery in their pants, and I mean in the non-sexy way, should probably clue their prospective sex partner in on it. It’s thoughtful, shows that you’re an upright individual concerned with the health and safety of others, and should spare you any future legal action. This especially holds true if you’re a rich, horny celebrity.

Take Usher and his alleged Herpes Simplex 2 diagnosis, for example. He’s probably going to have to start direct depositing a portion of his paycheck to a “Herpes Pay-Off” account. There is already a woman suing him for $20 million for allegedly giving her the herp. Now, three more people are supposedly filing a lawsuit of their own. And in not that salacious news, one of them is a man! They’re calling him “John Doe” which is nicer than just coming out and calling him “Justin Bieber.” I kid!

According to TMZ, celebrity attorney Lisa Bloom is representing all three of the future plaintiffs. She plans on filing the suit on Monday in California, and then hold a news conference in NYC. Call it “The Gloria Allred Offensive.”

The plan is to have one of the women go public with her story at the press conference. The other woman and the dude are going to remain anonymous and be referred to as “Jane Doe” and “John Doe.” All three of them will claim that they’ve had sexual contact with Usher since 2012, and that he neglected to inform them of his frequent visitor – “Mr. Sores.

Nice try on the aliases, but someone is probably going to be able to put two and two together when they read the deposition transcripts. It will be evident whom “John Doe” is when they read the testimony and bratty-sounding statements like “yo dawg, he referred to it as ‘mentoring,’ bro…” keep popping up.



  1. wikipediabrown

    where’s the synopsis?

  2. SideshowBoob

    I have herpes and green gook is not a side effect. I don’t know if what you heard is true, but I’ve never had a typical cold sore, and I read that this is common among other people with herpes 2. Green gunk, however, is not. Seriously, who fucks someone with green discharge? Sounds like trich to me.

  3. craigypants

    its a prerequisite to have herpes in hollywood. They all have it.

  4. IchLiebeDanielBruehl

    It’s very rare to get complications – and it prevents cancer. Why wouldn’t you get your son or daughter vaccinated?

  5. IchLiebeDanielBruehl

    Amen – if you can prevent cervical, throat, anal cancers (which the HPV vaccine does), why wouldn’t you get the vaccine?

  6. IchLiebeDanielBruehl

    Could be worse! https://uploads.disquscdn.c

  7. IchLiebeDanielBruehl

    You need one of these… https://uploads.disquscdn.c

  8. Penisillin

    That’s what I understood, also? Not understanding why this has been misconstrued as a mass generalization of a single community?

  9. Penisillin

    This study was part of an assigned reading in a human sexuality anthropology course I took in college.

  10. Marge Simpson's Chanel Suit

    Wrap before you tap.

  11. Penisillin


  12. Marge Simpson's Chanel Suit


  13. sofster101

    Is Bieber John Doe?

  14. You take the ride, you pay the fare.

  15. frenchielover

    i always thought that usher was Bisexual. Apparently, there was some rumblings back in the day with the down low brothers that included Jermaine Dupri,DIDDY and L.A. Reid . They all mentor young “boy” artists.

  16. zeldafitzgerald

    Bless the free world of not America

  17. Become a big enough star and there are bound to be gay rumors about you. Personally, I’ve never heard a single one about this man, but gossip is bound to happen with huge stars. Usher used to be a huge star so it makes sense some tabloid nonsense occurred.

  18. I’ve been hearing/reading those rumors forEVER.

  19. Contessa Bel Raven

    Free here in Canada too 😁

  20. I was with you until the innocent part. It’s been known forever that he was a ladies man (to put it lightly). He kind of built his persona on it. He’s had a reputation for getting around for years so I do sideeye anyone who had unprotected sex with him. But, I do think people thought he was a nice, decent person especially by celebrity standards.

  21. zeldafitzgerald

    Yeah, I think it’s really sensible. And herpes can lie dormant for a long time too without any manifestations. It’s just sensible.

    I did that when I was single, I think every year? I had tests for EVERYTHINH.

    Mind you in Aust that’s all free

  22. Summer gossip has been so dull, I’m actually LIVING for his story! It’s so funny because remember how everyone pretty much had a boner for Usher and thought he was an innocent momma’s boy? He’s actually a nasty ass that’s too obtuse to wear a condom, so let the DRAMA of it all begin, that stupid fucker deserves it!

  23. DavidtheDapKing

    Much intellect. So analytical. πŸ˜‰

  24. DavidtheDapKing

    Whoa. That was some powerful intellect and critical thinking right there! 😁

  25. Penny Dreadful

    So, so, so dull. You literally don’t even know the meaning of “racist”. You just keep pathetically tossing it out like tiny hand grenades but all it does is fall flat. Because it’s meaningless.

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