Robert Pattinson Refused To Jack A Dog Off For A Movie

The filming for Robert Pattinson‘s movie seems a little, well, icky. As Edward Cullen, he wasn’t that into werewolves, and, as an actor, he ain’t that into pup play, either. Page Six reports Robert was on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night promoting his new flick Good Time, and it sounds like he didn’t have that much of one when his director tried to get him to wank off a pooch. I get character acting, but dog diddling has me channeling Phaedra Parks saying, “Something in the buttermilk ain’t clean!” Um, say wha?

Even Twi-hards probably had a hard time hearing what their precious Edward was asked to do:

Robert, rocking his usual finger-in-the-electric-socket hairdo, said, “There’s a drug dealer who busts into the room and I was sleeping with the dog and basically giving the dog a hand job.” You know, if some crack dealer came hunting someone down for unpaid debts, I think if he beat down the door only to see some low-life choking the chicken of a schnauzer, it miiiiiiight have him back up and be like, “K! Paid in full!” Some of the movie production team sounds like a bunch of nasties, because Robbie gave further deets:

“I asked the trainer, ’cause the director was like, ‘Just do it for real, man! Don’t be a p–y!’ And then the dog’s owner was like, ‘Well, he’s a breeder, I mean, you can.’ He’s like, ‘You gotta massage the inside of his thighs.'”

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should, and apparently Rob thought the same and diddled a fake red rocket instead. Dog wangs of any kind weird me out: the only place a tube of lipstick belongs is on a drag queen (ok, they can go anywhere… just not nethers!), so ick ick ick. PETA must be especially Team Edward today, because they are lauding Rob for shying away from the canine molestation. I’m especially Team Edward today because… ICK!



  1. GravitaLoco

    That is twelve shades of twisted sick. Yuck!

  2. WAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ew, man, wtf?!

  3. Okay kids! Now, who wants to jack a dog off for cookie?!

  4. Jacking off a dog sounds like a perfect match for RPatt’s level of acting talent.

  5. Billy Konstantine

    Shovel face lmao

  6. Billy Konstantine

    I call bullshit. No one jokes about shit like that

  7. B, b, b, ba, ba, backtrack!

  8. pushy broad

    This is beyond sick.
    Whoever this director/directors are, they are sick fucks.
    No ifs buts about it.

  9. Acca Dacca

    dude has seriously got a better face than you (I can just tell)

  10. Acca Dacca

    is that the bar for a great dude? “I’m not into dog wanking – I’m a keeper”

  11. That reminded me – Pauly Shore was a surprise headliner at a comedy club here in Portland a year or two ago. I actually enjoyed his set but the dude looked none the worse for wear.

  12. The dog would snarl at her and she’d tweet about how she was body shamed.

  13. Case in point: Stanley Kubrick

  14. frenchielover

    that is the most disgusting request ever from a director. So fucking gross.

  15. Well, he said no and looked pretty sheepish telling the story. The directors and trainer are the ones who need a bitchslap.

  16. GageCanada

    Oh HELL NO you goddamned weirdos!

  17. Trash Panda


  18. Charlie Hunnam's butt

    case in point: Centipede.

  19. Charlie Hunnam's butt

    the more I know about this world..the more I want to stay in.

    I like him now as a person, and I hope this movie makes a total of 0.25 cents.

  20. Everyone has their limits. WHATHEFUCKITYFUCK!

    ETA: So, someone else gladly did it? The trainer?
    This is one movie I won’t be seeing. Gah!

  21. Leona Lopez

    The more I hear about how directors work, the more I’m convinced many of them go into that field because they are sadists.

  22. DuchessGummyBuns

    Dude, as dabbling in the acting world I can tell you the people there generally suck, and actors are assholes. Very rarely do you find one who isnt a narcissist.

  23. DuchessGummyBuns

    “Dont be a pussy”??? For not molesting a dog? What kind of director says that. Wtf.

  24. That sort of shit would be up Lena D’s alley. It’s made me Iike him for saying no.

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