Mario Cantone Must Hope Anthony Scaramucci Lasts Through Sweeps Week

As you may know by now, Sean Spicer is the Gerber baby in comparison to new White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci. While The Mooch even had my B-hole quivering at his Jersey Boy charm on Day 1 at the podium, he’s since made us all, including his wife, take a hard look in the mirror. Because we’re suddenly left defending people we never thought we would have to!

First off, he said of Sarah Huckabee Sanders:

“The only thing I ask Sarah–Sarah, if you’re watching, I loved the hair and makeup person that we had on Friday, so I’d like to continue to use the hair and makeup person.”

The Mooch, you leave Sarah alone! She has Mike Huckabee as a father and comes from the same state as the Duggars. Homegirl has been through enough as-is! Then, Ryan Lizza at the New Yorker wrote yesterday how Ant called him up and, ah, went Danielle Staub on him real fast. Who can blame him?! He works in the Trump White House. I think he may have mistakenly thought he was dialing up a casting director for a Sopranos reboot, because I read the whole story in a James Gandolfini voice.

On Reince Priebus: “Reince is a fucking paranoid schizophrenic, a paranoiac.” Fair! But it’s one of those things where it’s only funny when we say it. You leave the Chief of Staff alone! He already is dealing with having a name that sounds like a shitty used car dealership. But the best is when he gets to poor ol’ Steve Bannon:

“I’m not Steve Bannon, I’m not trying to suck my own cock. I’m not trying to build my own brand off the fucking strength of the President. I’m here to serve the country.”

Steve doesn’t seem like the most flexible, so I hope he isn’t trying this in front of some portrait of Mary Todd Lincoln. The White House has been cheapened up enough! The Mooch has tough words considering the only reason he has his job is because of how much smoke he blows up the presidential b-hole. I’m not the only one who saw this, because Entertainment Weekly says Mario Cantone dropped by The President Show last night, and, instead of revamping his role of Anthony in Sex And The City, he went even gayer with Anthony of No Sex In The White House, saying this of his favorite fucking paranoiac:

“I’m gonna fire so many people. I don’t know who it’s gonna be, Reince, but I’m gonna get to the bottom of the leaks in the White House. Do you hear me, Reince? There’s an old Italian expression my mother used to use when somebody hurt her. She’d say, ‘Stick the umbrella up my a– but don’t open it.'”

Just as I was about to finish this post, it appears Trump fired Reince. They’re dropping faster than I did to my knees when I found out it’s 2-for-1 margarita night! I hope the umbrella isn’t too far up your hiney, Reince!

For more of Mario as The Mooch, see below:

Pic: YouTube

25 Comments

  1. Man-Bun Ken Doll ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    Dont you love their words. Their neat little altRight words make them feel so intelligent. “Doxxing” is a current favorite. Then of course there is “straw man”, “Ad hominem”, “Marxist” and “SOROS!” LOL!

  2. Man-Bun Ken Doll ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    FAKE NEWS!! FAKE SCANDALS!!! FAKE FAKE FAKE and debunked about 7000x. Your ignorance is not equal to our intelligence. War on stupid is coming!

  3. Oh, the ‘cuck’ meme is so much worse than that. They’re not using the ol’17C def of ‘cuckold’. Among alt-right types, ‘Cuck’ refers to a White Man who complacently stands by as his White Woman opens her lily-white legs to Afroamerican men (am not making this up). It’s a vile but predictable racist pejorative based on the ages-old meme about them ‘Negroes coming for yer white wimmen-folk–& yer white wimmens like those black menz BETTER than you!’
    People make me sick, sometimes.

  4. VeryOldSyntheticBabyBat
  5. Yeah. For most of reddit and similar sites, if you went to college, treat women like people, and/or breathe through your nose you aren’t a real man. You’re a cuckold.

    Now if you’re pro-sexual assault, can’t read, and tend to say borderline-racist, incredibly objectifying things about Asian women in public, you’re a real man.

    Mike Cernovich, who is only rich because he accepted a 7-figure divorce settlement from his more successful ex, is one of their idols. As someone who gets charged with date rape and drives successful, stable women away, you know he knows what he’s talking about, bro!

  6. Is Hillary evil? Yes. Is it standard politician level evil? Also yes. Trump is too stupid to be as effectively evil as she is. He is hiring children who chuck tanties to get their way. They all operate on getting even based on perceived, paranoid slights. They are going to take down any competent political actors, like Priebus and Sessions, as fast as they can.

    There is no defending the Trump Administration at this point. Do I *like* Hillary? No, not really. Was she a good choice? Not really. Would she, and more importantly her team, be more competent and professional than this bunch of wingnuts? Yes.

    These guys make the Bad News Bears look like the New York Yankees. Just admit it. The first step to recovery is accepting that there’s a problem.

  7. When your shitshow of a presidency hires a guy named “the Mooch,” what could possibly go wrong?

  8. Probably, but he can’t suck his own cock.

  9. DuchessGummyBuns

    GALILEO!

  10. The Roaring 20's

    That dude Scaramucci looks like a SNL character.

  11. The Roaring 20's

    Or It’s the Real Housewives of Pennsylvania Ave.

  12. The Roaring 20's

    As soon as i heard that guy’s name ,it was Bohemia Rhapsody the very first thing crossed my mind.

  13. You forgot to use the new buzzword “transparent”. You are failing as a Trumputin. I must say I am disappointed to see “alternative facts” and the “deep-state” being phased out. Wonder what the new word will be in a few weeks.

  14. IchLiebeDanielBruehl

    Hookers were made for that guy.

  15. Or bragging about grabbing a pussy..

  16. Obsessed with Hillary?

  17. 🇺🇸💥BishStoleMyLook💥🇺🇸

    Very very frightening me!!!

  18. I think he likes having people “competing” over him, plus it prevents anyone from developing loyalty to anyone besides him. Oh, and
    https://68.media.tumblr.com

  19. VeryOldSyntheticBabyBat

    Mooch can’t fandango
    https://i.imgur.com/eZiRQNm

  20. VeryOldSyntheticBabyBat

    Thanks .. That’s wild.. Will have to get it in the morning .

  21. dumdumwantsgumgum

    I hope this shows it
    Clearly it doesn’t! Sorry

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