Open Post: Hosted By Nicole Kidman’s Country-Fried Hoedown Fashion!

The Beguiled isn’t just the movie Nicole Kidman is hawking these days. It’s what newsstand passersby become when they see the cover of Love magazine and notice now that her (SPOILER ALERT) man croaked and Celeste skipped Monterrey to go hunt down a new one in Nashville!

Nicole (with her nips having the same reaction mine do any time someone hands me a plate of hot chicken down in Tennessee), rocks one of Pamela Anderson’s Baywatch swimsuits and a cowboy hat to tell Music City (SPOILER ALERT 2), “Rayna James may no longer be with you, but a new country queen is here!” Love magazine’s Twitter posted the picture above and quotes her saying:

“I thought about this shoot afterwards. I was like, what was I doing!?” THE Nicole Kidman for

What were you doing, Nicole?! And can we see more of it? This is the most life out of you we’ve seen since the night you finally sprang free from the Scientology bathhouse!

While the cloud to her right seems ready to mosey on up and offer to buy Nicole a drink at the Bluebird, the “o” in the “Love” is calling a spade a spade: “Who is this shifty bitch, and why is she holding onto a fur-lined jean jacket? It’s July!”

Pic: Carin Backoff/Love Magazine

25 Comments

  1. runic2627

    I actually got to seem them perform this live.
    Hypnotic.

  2. Dr. Cheese Toast

    I roll mine up like a Swiss roll and shove them in my bra. 😕

  3. just me...

    LOL..yep..have to remind them eyes straight forward!

  4. just me...

    Maybe the Scientology chip has been activated.

  5. just me...

    Can not argue with that.

  6. ButteryTrash

    I have to do that several times a day. Sad old boobs, falling down all the time.

  7. Bitch has botoxed every body part to immobility, so…

  8. just me...

    Nipple botox?

  9. Botox.

  10. Pit Bully

    I Know!

    I smoked for a long time. Although it wasn’t as fun, Nicotine Gum keeps you sane on a flight.

  11. Nicole’s finally completely flipped her lid. Keith better commit her before she harms somebody.

  12. just me...

    Puff be thinking…”New people new responsibility, I am going to have my paw’s full until I train them”

  13. just me...

    Tell your kids to stop kicking my seat or I will bitch slap your whole family!!!

  14. I also like that there are no smoking signs on the plane, because you know some people are too stupid for this life.

  15. runic2627

    Almost 3:00 am here.
    I grow veary.

  16. Pit Bully

    She is upset because she isn’t sitting next to the dog.

  17. What is going on with the lady in the background?

  18. CaliCheeseSucks

    AWWWWWWW!

  19. Botox and Restylane, your time is up!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*