Adele May Never Ever Tour Again

When I went to see Adele, I was drunk on overpriced arena wine, but I still remember her saying that she probably wasn’t going to tour again. It’s actually amazing that I was able to hear Adele say that through the sound of thousands of women crying their tear ducts out as their ovaries combusted from hearing her sing live. But just in case nobody heard Adele announce that there’s a chance she may never go on tour again, she told her fans in an Instagram post that her third concert tour could be her last.

Adele’s current tour opened in Belfast on February 29, 2016 and will play its final show at Wembley in London on July 2. The last 4 shows of the tour are in London and she says she chose to close the tour in her hometown because she doesn’t know if she’ll ever go on the road again.

“So this is it. After 15 months on the road and 18 months of 25, we are at the end. We have taken this tour across UK+ Ireland, throughout Europe, all over America and I finally got to go to Australia and New Zealand too. Touring is a peculiar thing, it doesn’t suit me particularly well. I’m a real homebody and I get so much joy in the small things. Plus I’m dramatic and have a terrible history of touring. Until now that is! I’ve done 119 shows and these last 4 will take me up to 123, it has been hard out an absolute thrill and pleasure to have done. I only ever did this tour for you and to hopefully have an impact on you the way that some of my favourite artists have had on me live. And I wanted my final shows to be in London because I don’t know if I’ll ever tour again and so I want my last time to be at home. Thank you for coming, for all of your ridiculous love and kindness. I will remember all of this for the rest of my life. Love you. Goodnight for now”.

Okay, Adele did this all wrong. You’re not supposed to announce your final tour when your final tour is almost a wrap! What Adele should’ve done is called this tour The Farewell Tour and talked about how it’s her last, for real. And then in about 5 years when she spots an island she wants to buy, she should announce The “Okay, I Was Joking The Last Time, But This Is Really My Last Tour” World Tour. And then 5 years after that when she spots a giant yacht she wants to buy, she should announce The “I Swear, And I’m Not Crossing My Fingers Or Anything, This Is The Last One” World Tour. And 5 years after that, she should announce a Las Vegas residency and call it The “Bitch, Shut Up, This Is Technically Not A Tour” Show.

Did Adele not learning anything from Cher?



  1. “Adele May Never Ever Tour Again”…music to my ears!

  2. craigypants
  3. Literarylioness

    That whole album is insulting to anyone over 40.

  4. Literarylioness

    I agree. She just sits on a stool and belts it out, but you are mesmerized. I never regretted the money I spent to see Babs.

  5. Literarylioness

    She will be up there with Cher and Babs for farewell tours. I have been to three of Babs farewell tours starting when I was 22 and just saw her last one last summer at 46. Babs is 75 now.

  6. craigypants

    Ever seen this woman in concert. Totally brilliant.

  7. craigypants

    I can see it now. She will be back in a decade doing a gloria swanson sunset boulevard, As if we never said goodbye. But she wont do it better than this.


  8. Melissa Michelle Wray

    I’ll believe it when I see it.

  9. I honestly don’t really see the point of paying hundreds of dollars to see somebody stand in a dress and sing. If I go to a concert I want it to be a show or an energetic band at least. Adele concerts seem dull from all the footage I’ve seen.

  10. I like a few of her upbeat songs if they come on the radio; Rolling in the Deep, Send Your Love, Set Fire to the Rain, but if you listen to too many in a row it gets a little sad sack. I guess when you’re going through a breakup and in the eating ice cream phase I made add her to my pandora but overall not something I seek out.

  11. A twenty-five year old having a song called “when we were young” is pretty insulting to about half the people living.

  12. In fairness Adele really doesn’t seem that into the celebrity scene or the type to spend a lot of money. I kinda just picture her buying a nice but not big apartment in London and doing her thing. Madonna, Bono, Gaga, Katy NEED the attention.

  13. Tits 4 Tats


  14. Tits 4 Tats

    Love it!

  15. Tits 4 Tats


  16. Vernicious

    The stalking is strong with this otherwise talented one.

  17. Nikitainthesection

    Hahahahahahaha!!! at the Janet Jackson comment!!

  18. skabazzle

    “Madonna at 99” hahahahaha

  19. skabazzle


  20. skabazzle

    The minute they say they’re never doing something again you can bet money on the fact that yes, they will tour/make music/reunite/whatever again. Just say you want a break and you’ll be back probably in a few years.

  21. *dies*

  22. Madam Pince

    Exactly. The only version of “Hello” I like is the one she did with Jimmy Fallon & the Roots on elementary school instruments.

  23. craigypants

    How many times have we heard this from artists. Touring is where the money is, eg; katy and gaga giving away albums for free with a tour ticket. Its hard to make money off music if there are to many people involved you know 6 writers, 5 producers there isn’t much to go around. Madge last tour sold more in merchandise than lady gaga sold in tickets. She will be back when the record company tells her. Look at streisand, she hates touring, but she still has to do it, at 75. She is lucky she didn’t perform for 27 years, but you could make a fortune off music back then. Now u2, prince, madge, gaga, perry. They give them away. Gone are the days of 120 million dollar record contracts.

  24. Agent Dana Scully

    I miss Amy Winehouse. Despite – or because of – all her flaws she was *real*. Adele just seems so basic and manufactured in comparison 😕

  25. hogtowngooner

    I’m imagining this and it’s AMAZING.

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