Rob Lowe Claims He’s Seen A Real Sasquatch

If while flipping channels you’ve come across heave-inducing shows like Donnie Loves Jenny and another Duck Dynasty spin-off, and figured that A&E has run out of ideas and given up, think again, ho. A&E has given the people what we really need and want: a reality show where Rob Lowe and his sons travel the country investigating paranormal shit and unsolved mysteries. What they should’ve investigated is why A&E gave Rob Lowe a show about paranormal shit. Now that is an unsolved mystery that needs solving.

The title for Rob’s show is The Lowe Files, which is a play on The X-Files, but unlike Mulder and Scully, he and his sons aren’t experts and don’t really know what they’re doing. Rob tells Entertainment Weekly that he and his sons have always wanted to document their search for THEE UNKNOWN, and they were going to do it themselves but decided to pitch it around. Rob describes the tone of their show as Anthony Bourdain blended up with Scooby Doo. You know, if you really did blend up Anthony Bourdain with Scooby Doo and then deep fried that shit, Guy Fieri would happily eat up every bite.

Rob and his sons investigate ghosts and stuff, but he says what really made him prolapse was his encounter with a Sasquatch. No, Rob isn’t talking about the time he was eating lunch at Health Nut in Woodland Hills and witnessed Khloe Kartrashian screaming at an employee for messing up her order. That would terrify me too. Rob says that he saw a real Bigfoot in the Ozarks.

The rest of [what we found I accepted on a] case-by-case basis, but we had an incredible encounter with what locals call the wood ape, which is in the Ozark Mountains. I’m fully aware that I sound like a crazy, Hollywood kook right now.

EW wondered if Rob was genuinely terrified, and he says he thought Bigfoot was going to murder him.

Genuinely terrified? I was lying on the ground thinking I was going to be killed.

The Lowe Files comes out in August and the Sasquatch episode is the show’s finale.

Now I’m not saying that Rob Lowe is lying and that the Sasquatch he saw was really a production assistant in an unauthorized Chewbacca costume they rented from a shop in town, but I am going to say that I have a hard time believing he saw a real Bigfoot. The only Sasquatch expert I trust is former HSOTD Tim Peeler. And if Rob saw a real Sasquatch, he wouldn’t be terrified, because he’d be too busy getting hypnotized by its bewtiful hair blowing in the night wind.

And here’s the opening of The Lowe Files, which looks like a parody that can’t be real.

Pic: A&E/YouTube

25 Comments

  1. just me...

    bwahahahaha!..I did not know they were filming my bath tub after I shaved my legs.

  2. I would eat his butt.

  3. My kid loves “Ghost Adventures”. I have seen every episode-twice, at least. (I am not kidding.)

  4. ‘Love him for this portrayal-so strange.
    But, not sure about this new project concept; the market is saturated. Wish him the best, regardless.

  5. Seriously Khloe?? Stop stalking this FINE man.
    http://a.fod4.com/misc/Rob-

  6. Her Many Cats

    If they put out donuts, they might find me!

  7. OG.Straaaange

    LOL!

  8. Guest54321

    I want Nessie to be real so bad.

  9. Guest54321

    Ghosts are totes real, and if you don’t know that you are either young or so closed they don’t come out for you or they do and you can’t tell.

  10. Guest54321

    I think it is going to be fun. Spooky enough to be fun but not so much it’s scary. His kids look adorbs.

  11. Me too.

  12. Not ideal but there are many worse, still neither of those stories make me think he’s the type that would be rude to random people for now reason.

  13. I believe in them too. UFOs as well. Bigfoot and the Lochness Monster, not so much.

  14. There is a guy who claims he was the one that wore the suit, he passed a lie detector test. I just watched the footage & it looks like a suit to me, especially the hair looks fake. I have seen better looking apes in old timey movies.

  15. Kiki_Zinnias

    There is nothing like proving you are batshit crazy while your kids tag along! I have been to the Ozarks where hill billies were born ….what he says was a Sasquatch could just be a couple of drunk naked hillbillies dressed up in roadkill to protect an illegal still.

  16. Sure you’re not confusing him with Chris Trager? He’s a Trumpy douche.

    http://www.pajiba.com/twitt
    http://www.pajiba.com/celeb

  17. Penisillin

    Sure

  18. Kylimayrow

    Love this movie!! Love Harry…he knew that Ronnie Reagan was shifty one.

  19. Kylimayrow

    Ugly in the inside and it ate right through the outside …yuck

  20. Kylimayrow

    Did they ever officially say the Patterson footage was a hoax? I have seen that thing countless times and I can’t believe the quality of the costume if it was a costume. The muscle, breast and the arm length. Who made costumes that good in the 1967? Also, I recall a documentry from National Geographic before it was Fox owned, that really made me wonder about that footage. They gauged something like that the Bigfoot would have been at least 10 feet tall …just things that make you go ummm…

  21. I loved Ghost Hunters. When they came down here we stayed at one of the hotels they filmed at, and it was so much fun. There was another awesome show called Ghost Mine but I think they only did 1 or 2 seasons.

  22. I think Rob is known for being nice and their genuine interest in the subject matter would both mean they’re not going to be dicks to the locals

  23. They should start their own fashion show just so they can call it Lowe Hangers.

  24. boomdeyay

    Cool idea for a series but he. Is too bland and white bread. It will be like the Brady Bunch episode when they find the idol in the cave.

  25. Al Capone's Vault

    He needs to team up with the bozos from Finding Bigfoot. They go all over the country looking for sasquatch. Even once on a golf course in Texas. They do Bigfoot calls and constant hear rustling in the distance. Once, they put out donuts because that some of sasquatch’s favorite food. Uh huh.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*