Open Post: Hosted By Alexander Skarsgard’s Sunburnt Nips

Tall glass of Swedish leche, Alexander Skarsgard, is still in Capri, and yesterday the paps took pictures of him sunning his nipple knobs on a yacht. Poor ASkars’ skin looks about as hot as genitals get when its owner looks at shirtless pictures of him. His burnt-up body could really use a wet visit from some aloe vera. So on that note, I’m going to leave this here:

shapeshiftingspellaskars2017

Sure that’s a spell to turn you into a shapeshifting animal, but I bet you could turn yourself into aloe vera instead. But before you shapeshift into aloe vera, make sure to give a trustworthy friend specific instructions on how to FedEx you to ASkars in Capri. Because you don’t want to go to all the trouble of shapeshifting into aloe vera only to find yourself getting spread all over a piece that ain’t ASkars.

Pics: Backgrid

25 Comments

  1. i cant imagine that itll last too long. thats just askin for some vandalism. youd think that at this point people would be too embarrassed to admit that they voted for him.

  2. BabaDong Jesus is coming..RUN!

    Mr Nancy is an African trickster god on a slave ship who does a 1 min monologue on slavery.

    For a 100 years you are fucked, for another years you are fucked….

    So brilliant.

  3. Bob White the bird.

    The giant moss man thing has been there a bit. But the trump sign is new. I’m a casino whore….that’s why I pass that way so much

  4. Vamp_Tramp

    Wow! Thanks for sharing this! (I like it when other posters here share their celebrity encounter stories.)

  5. i dont cross the bridge too much. thats not exactly the ideal part of town for that. how long gas it been there?

  6. Bob White the bird.

    @Modianos have you seen the giant trump sign at the airboat place? The fuck is that shit? They’ve got a giant spanish moss thing holding the sign. My lighter is ready.

  7. Bob White the bird.

    How do I copy/save him to my bedroom?

  8. Clever Moniker

    OMG back in the day it was a regular thing to see Dennis out and about in Vegas. Sometimes he’d be dressed crazy, sometimes normal. Sometimes he was the sweetest guy in the world (pick up the restaurant tab for everyone in a restaurant without announcing it) and sometimes he was a messy asshole.

    Once I was in a CVS where an elderly couple was trying to get their medication but one was really expensive and they were trying to figure out when they could come back for it. He walked up and put 5 one hundred dollar bills down on the counter and said “God Bless you” and walked away. The man tried to refuse and he said no way. They started filling the older people’s prescription and about five minutes later the manager came back and told them that “Mr Rodman said no way you’re gonna worry about this anymore. He’s paying this script from now on and he’s arranged with me for payment. Please accept it. He said he would be grateful if you would.”

    Then again, one of my friends also saw him tear a light fixture off the wall at a club, too.

    Dennis: you never know what you’re gonna get.

  9. Bob White the bird.

    Omg, why am I watching the news at 3 am? This travel ban shit. They are bending a bit because we have 4 years of this fuckface. Barring a natural disease. Edit: have, not gave.

  10. not always. they can turn on you out of the blue.

  11. Vamp_Tramp

    And then there’s Rodman, who surpasses both.
    I’ll admit, his nuts AF behavior was more fun back in the 90s, when he was just playing great ball, dating Madonna (albeit for a hot minute), and wearing funky-ass clothes (can’t believe it’s been now 20 years since he wore that wedding dress!).

  12. Clever Moniker

    Puppeh is a good roller.

  13. Bob White the bird.

    Scrambling away? He was never hot. I don’t do blondes. 😃

  14. Bob White the bird.

    I do know that you never hear of collies attacking.

  15. Bob White the bird.

    I want to say it’s how you raise them, but I’ve never had one. We’ve only had labs, pyrenees, and my collie. Gentle dogs.

  16. there was a pit bull horror story just a few days ago. i dont know why anyone would want one.

  17. Bob White the bird.

    Btw she wants me to bring my little one to stay the night. She bought this dog from sketchy people from Houston. And she let’s it do whatever in her house. Tear up furniture. Sure, bitch. I’m going to let my 8 month old stay. (She doesn’t have children)

  18. dont ever leave your little one around him. not ever.

  19. thanks

  20. Bob White the bird.

    I know so many love Pitt bulls. My friend has two. One I’ve known forever and she’s half lab. Sweet thing. But she has a massive full blood they bought full grown. I don’t know him. He makes me sooo nervous.

  21. Vamp_Tramp

    She does! And Irina is also part of my fantasy harem! What a coincidence! 😛

  22. The hot is really scarmbling to get away from Skarsgard.

  23. theres kooky and theres crazy.

  24. Vamp_Tramp

    Feel better soon! xo

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