Tall glass of Swedish leche, Alexander Skarsgard, is still in Capri, and yesterday the paps took pictures of him sunning his nipple knobs on a yacht. Poor ASkars’ skin looks about as hot as genitals get when its owner looks at shirtless pictures of him. His burnt-up body could really use a wet visit from some aloe vera. So on that note, I’m going to leave this here:
Sure that’s a spell to turn you into a shapeshifting animal, but I bet you could turn yourself into aloe vera instead. But before you shapeshift into aloe vera, make sure to give a trustworthy friend specific instructions on how to FedEx you to ASkars in Capri. Because you don’t want to go to all the trouble of shapeshifting into aloe vera only to find yourself getting spread all over a piece that ain’t ASkars.