If you’ve seen Colin Farrell’s sex tape, then you know that back in the day, he had a luscious crotch shrub that looked like a glorious black angora bunny with a serious Ogilvie home perm. Just looking at that overgrown dick bush makes you pull imaginary pubes out of your mouth. Colin was on Ellen today and he told a story about taking his pubes from (NSFW) Demi Moore circa 1981 to Demi Moore in Striptease. Ellen DeGeneres plays a little game with her guests called Celebrity Confessions and it involves the famous trick spilling out a confession for up to a $10,000 donation for the charity of their choice. Colin earned that money by talking about the time he gave his beautiful crotch ‘fro an embarrassing haircut.
Colin was about to shoot his very first sex scene for his first American movie, Tigerland, and before they filmed it, he showed director Joel Schumacher his forest of dick hairs and asked if he should trim it. Joel let him know in so many words that he needed to take a machete or Flowbee to it and so he got himself a beard trimmer from the makeup and hair department and went at it. Colin went a little too far and turned his ZZ Top crotch beard into a tiny landing strip.
70s bush or 90s landing strip, I’d still hit it. But what brand was that beard trimmer? That’s what I want to know, because if it can cut through Colin Farrell’s dense pube hedge without jamming or breaking, it can cut through anything. That beard trimmer must’ve been a Ginsu.