Open Post: Hosted By “Rob Lowe’s” Dick Stamp

Kate Beckinsale shared a little story on Instagram yesterday about how when she was 13 years old, she had a crush on Rob Lowe and proposed marriage to him in a fan letter. The year was around 1986, two years before Rob Lowe made that sex tape, so if he really saw a 13-year-old Kate’s letter, he probably would’ve told her to send a pic and if he likes what he sees, he’ll send a car. But instead, Kate says she got a postcard from “Rob Lowe” telling her that he’ll marry her. “Rob Lowe” must’ve used the Hung Like A Pony Express to send the postcard, because he drew a super short dick in the stamp area. If Rob Lowe was really a romantic, he would’ve rolled his peen on a stamp pad and slapped the postcard with it.

I almost bought that Rob Lowe really sent that postcard until I remembered that a dick drawing doesn’t count as a stamp. I’ve tried that trick before. Kate pretty much outed herself as “Rob Lowe” by writing this caption:

“EITHER I was a really tragic 13 year old with time on my hands OR Rob Lowe was all kinds of casual proposing marriage via a postcard of himself, signing his last name AND drawing a dick instead of using a stamp.(found at my mum’s house).”

Here’s a close-up of that dick stamp:

roblowedickstamp2017

Kate pretending to be Rob Lowe in a fan letter response brought back painful childhood memories for me. (Yes, I’ve told this story before and I’ll probably tell it again because it was traumatizing!) When I was a little gay, I wrote a fan letter to Cyndi Lauper and dropped it in the mail. “Cyndi Lauper” immediately wrote me back (like within hours) with a beautiful letter. I learned then that it’s humanly possible to shit a rainbow, because that’s exactly what I did. My sister’s friend asked me about the letter and when I told her about it all giddy-like, she laughed in my face. The evil bitch wrote it herself! She tricked me and broke my little gay heart while stomping on my hopes and dreams. A while ago, I saw her at a grocery store near my mom’s house. She was wearing fur-lined Crocs. I’m not joking. I told myself then that we were even. Karma got her ass by giving her shit taste in shoes.

And here’s Kate’s teen crush in L.A. the other day:

Pics: Instagram, FameFlynet, Wenn.com

25 Comments

  1. Yikes. Here I struggle to survive the cut throat world of data entry.

  2. Oooh both those meals sound tasty! Hope your boys appreciate it!

  3. Spray on abs

    Pricasso by Dali.

  4. Spray on abs

    A Pricasso original!

  5. GravitaLoco

    Even Picasso wouldn’t draw that mess

    http://www.marcybfreedman.c

  6. Puggygirl_

    ‘Man, you are one twisted fuck’ – office dude to Kevin Spacey in American Beauty. This movie *never* gets old. Why did I think of us folk the D when he said it? I mean it in the best way possible of course πŸ™‚ My husband is away interstate and I’ve had a lazy day somewhat. I’ve made a cauliflower cheese bake and slow cooked chicken satay for the boys though. I can’t wait for dinner πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  7. Puggygirl_

    I have a pic of my youngest son doing this to a doggy ages ago! So cute πŸ™‚

  8. I’m up cause insomnia but barely

  9. apricot ashtray

    Ha! ha!

  10. apricot ashtray

    It’s not too sweet because the sprinkles are tart so it offset’s it a bit.

  11. apricot ashtray

    I’m the opposite. I love grape but cherry makes me gag. It reminds me to much of Robitussin.

  12. apricot ashtray

    Yeah if you don’t like mango, it’s a no-go.

  13. apricot ashtray

    Pony latte? What’s in that?

  14. Guess everyone went to bed, sweet dreams!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.c

  15. always though he was hot, Samantha lucked out.

  16. Watching The Detour, it’s a Hulu show created by Samanta Bee. I’m liking it!

    https://uproxx.files.wordpr

  17. MISSJANETEXAS

    <3

  18. Thanks babe, I still heart you

  19. MISSJANETEXAS

    Ah, sorry…I realize my question wasn’t helping. Hope it works out!

  20. The spot was legit, but I didn’t think leaving my car with the keys on the driver’s seat for 7 hours was a good idea. Regardless, what’s done is done.

  21. MISSJANETEXAS

    Could you not have bussed home for the spare after the show? Or was the spot not legit?

  22. but I applied for every job through the weekend, including the shit ones that are like $20/2 hours so hopefully if I can book one of those it’ll fix it.

  23. Good night to any and all who are still up and about.
    Sweet dreams!

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