Fox News Says “Bye, Billicia” To Bill O’Reilly

Melissa McCarthy better start working on her Bill O’Reilly impersonation. Because if Sean Spicer ever gets fired as White House press secretary, Jabba the Trump is totally going to move his media boo Bill O’Reilly into that position now that bitch is out of a job.

Bill O’Reilly took a “vacation” from his Fox News show, The O’Reilly Factor, last week and it turns out that vacation has become permanent. I guess the powers-that-be at Fox News decided that Billy O ain’t worth all of those sexual assault allegations and it’s better for business to wash their hands of him. The New York Times reported that 20th Century Fox, Fox News’ parent company, has already paid $13 million in settlements to his accusers. The accusations keep coming too. One Fox News clerical worker, who is black, came forward recently and said that Bill called her “hot chocolate,” grunted at her and leered at her.

Jerry Hall’s super villain husband and the chairman of Fox News Rupert Murdoch and the other Murdochs farted out an office memo today stating that they’ve decided Bill O’Reilly should go after reviewing the allegations. More like they reviewed The O’Reilly Factor’s list of remaining advertisers and the only things on that list were moth balls and tumbleweeds. This is the memo that went out.

We’d like to address questions about Bill O’Reilly’s future at Fox News. After a thorough and careful review of allegations against him, the Company and Bill O’Reilly have agreed that Mr. O’Reilly will not return to the Fox News Channel.

This decision follows an extensive review done in collaboration with outside counsel.

By ratings standards, Bill O’Reilly is one of the most accomplished TV personalities in the history of cable news. In fact, his success by any measure is indisputable. Fox News has demonstrated again and again the strength of its talent bench. We have full confidence that the network will continue to be a powerhouse in cable news.

Lastly, and most importantly, we want to underscore our consistent commitment to fostering a work environment built on the values of trust and respect.

When Roger Ailes and his tartare huevos were shown the exit door at Fox News, he reportedly got a $40 million “bye, bitch” settlement. Bill was reportedly making around $15 million a year at Fox News, so I’m sure he’s wiping his rejected asshole tears on the piles of money Fox gave him to go away.

Fox News has already announced that Tucker Carlson is sliding into Bill O’Reilly’s open slot (I know you needed that visual today). So, Billy Bush better turn his ass around and go back home, because I’m sure he was making his way to Fox News to slide his resume under the door.

And my only question about Bill getting forced out by Fox News is: Did they do it live?



  1. SnarkAttack2

    “This decision follows an extensive review done in collaboration with outside counsel.”
    Oh ho ho ho… I’ll just bet they did. I would have loved to have been a fly on that wall!
    See, normally it’s difficult to prosecute sexual harassment because the perpetrators are smart enough to do it without witnesses so it becomes a “he said/she said” situation. But ole Bill here is so drunk with the power he has over all the little rage muffins out there, he didn’t bother with discretion. So that’s strike 1.

    What is a whole lot easier to prosecute in these situations is the company itself for either not acting to stop it or, worse, carrying out retribution on people who do complain. That leaves a big broad trail : calls, emails, etc to HR, to management, etc. Strike 2.

    And just who was in charge of the fort at the time? Why, it was another giant carbuncle on the asshole of humanity: Roger Ailes. Wha?? You mean to say Bill’s boss was doing this too!? GOOOOOOOAL! Strikes 3,4 and 5!

    I wouldn’t be surprised if the “outside counsel” was telling Rupert he was staring down the barrel of a class action lawsuit. And those sharks play for keeps. You’re not going to shut them up with a shitty little $40M payout. They’re gonna take all the money O’Reilly made for Fox and all the money that turd Hannity made for them and all the money Carlson made for them and… well… all the money.

    I don’t think Rupert gives a shit what the advertisers are doing this week. He knows they’re fickle. I think he counted up the years Bill and Roger spent using FoxNews as their personal pussy-snatching hunting grounds and figured if all those women banded together, he is fucked.

    Good luck Rupert! If the class action lawsuit doesn’t clean you out, Jerry will.

  2. Literarylioness

    “Ding dong the Wicked Witch is dead!”

  3. spot on. the grass roots pressure is working.

  4. That’s been in my head all day thinking about this!! Dancing munchins and all.

  5. Never thought I would be typing any good news related to fox. Would love to see his lying hypocritical, sanctimonious, smug, ass face now.

  6. Just the facts

    He and Roger Ailes have the faces they deserve. But their millions will console them. No snark, they don’t GAF, because dolla dolla bill.

  7. craigypants

    Ah. Karma is a wonderful thing. I don’t give a shit what his accomplishes are, he is a sexual predator and assaulted woman. Bye bitch.

  8. FunkAnarchy84 Ⓐ

    It took Cheeto being president for the misogynists’ ships to come crashing down.

  9. That would be such an embarrassing step WAY DOWN for Bill O’Reilly, I’m not sure he’d take it.


    Bitch, bye !

  11. pamorama_j

    I am so loving this!!

  12. Listen up yunguns….
    There was a time when cable was new and there was a station called PTL. They scammed old people and had a big influence. Their fearless, leader, Jim Bakker was caught in a sex scandal with Jessica Hahn and the entire kingdom fell.

    I never felt so happy about someone else’s downfall until O’Reilly. I’ll enjoy watching FoxNews crumble

  13. The Roaring 20's

    Oh, She is preparing the impeachment papers. You bet she is !

  14. pamorama_j

    Ding Dong the witch is dead!! It’s about time this idiot got his!!

  15. The Roaring 20's

    i like this gif .

  16. The Roaring 20's

    Now, let’s get rid of another tv host asshole …the one living in the WH.

  17. Classof1997

    Good riddance. I hope Sean Hannity is next. And while you’re at it, throw in that insufferable windbag Rush Limbaugh.

  18. As long as SOMEONE is spewing racism and hate their viewers will be happy.

  19. Manimal 5000

    Sexual harassment should never be tolerated no matter who it is. Maybe to fill the hour slot they can just show videos of Bella Thorne showing off her tits.

  20. LoopyGorilla

    first roger ailes gets a $40 million payout and now bill.
    gotta love Rupert Murdoch’s chauvinist piece of shit Fox News, because nothing says “boys club” more than rewarding perpetrators for sexually harassing or assaulting women.

  21. Hipster Jesus is coming...RUN!

    1138 Aleppo earthquake…. Obama’s fault…
    Great Plague of London…. Obama’s fault…
    Great Chicago Fire…. Obama’s fault…
    1906 San Francisco earthquake…. Obama’s fault…
    Titanic sinking…. Obama’s fault…
    1979 Mississauga train derailment…. Obama’s fault…
    Me losing my virginity to a woman…. Obama’s fault

  22. Gary Burnaska

    Fact that DEEP red districts are becoming vulnerable is a good sign. Kansas GOP barely held a seat that was supposed to be a SAFE district. If the DEEP red areas are fighting to hold on the purple ones are in real trouble.

  23. Melissa can relax, but Bryan Cranston should start boning up on his O’Reilly impression.

  24. Gary Burnaska

    You mean there is SOMEONE worse than Spicer, also that it means that O’reilly s the best choice that trump could get if he canned Spicer. NO ONE of any integrity or value even wants to work for him.

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