Kendall Jenner Fired A Bodyguard After She Was Robbed

Kim Kardashian replicant Kendall Jenner was relieved of over $200,000 worth of ugly jewelry on Wednesday night. Police think that either a party guest pilfered her jewelry box or someone tip-toed their way in during said party to get to her expensive baubles (which she’s usually splashing all over on the Internet). Either way, someone had to be blamed and a security guard is currently updating his LinkedIn’s “skills” section to include “Guarding Narcissistic Mounds of Plastic.”

TMZ reports that Kendall fired the dude who was supposedly guarding the house that night, despite the cops thinking it was an inside job. Someone check, is her moppa Caitlyn Jenner wearing a really expensive watch lately (a Rolex and a Cartier were reported among the items stolen)? I’ve thought Caitlyn was shifty ever since she showed up near the RNC.

Our Kardashian sources say the guard was posted outside the house, which raises the question … why fire him if it was an inside job and the thief was almost certainly a partygoer who made his or her way into Kendall’s bedroom and stole $200k in jewelry?

It appears the fam is upset because when Kendall left for an hour around midnight, someone who was not an invited guest got inside the house.

Kendall is not only wearing big sisbot Kim’s face, she’s also wearing her life. After Kim was allegedly robbed in Paris, her longtime bodyguard Pascal was also let go for not being on the premises at the time. They should probably start including some sort of “we will fire you if we’re too stupid to secure our valuables and they got stolen” clause in these dudes’ contracts.

Despite it looking like one of Kendall’s friends (or family members) is not so friendly, she’s but one of several celebrities that have been burgled lately. $2 million in jewelry was stolen from Alanis Morrissette’s jagged little house and someone mopped Nicki Minaj’s shit to the tune of $200,000.

Now My Name Is Earl actress Jaime Pressly has also been kleptoed. Let’s start sending minions to purchase safes for us, ladies. In regards to Jaime’s robbery, this is what E! Online had to say:

The L.A.P.D. tells E! News that a burglary occurred late Friday night at a Sherman Oaks home multiple outlets are reporting belongs to the My Name Is Earl star. Authorities confirmed suspects entered the residence at 10:24 p.m. and took an undetermined amount of property, which included jewelry.

Police told E! News the victim was not home at the time of the break-in, and is still itemizing the stolen possessions. The case remains under investigation.

Jaime’s rep confirmed the theft and said that Jaime and her family weren’t at home at the time.

Let’s just say, no one deserves to be a crime victim. Having typed that, the hammerheads who are putting snaps of their jewelry up on social media to taunt the lessers probably aren’t going to have a telethon put on for them anytime soon. McGruff the Crime Dog thinks you and your sisters are dummies, Kendall.

Pic: Splash


  1. MahatmaCoat


  2. For such plastic bitches, it surprises me that it hasn’t been fixed.

  3. PMK mauled her for not bringing in enough dough

  4. Yeah, I know there are many parties, I think this one was the Vanity Fair one… And I remember Karlie Kloss was on the red carpet at the Oscars this year. I wonder why the Koven wasn’t there posing.

  5. Lefemmenikita

    I’m sure it’s been more than 15 mins already


  6. That’s her tapeworm, duh. It’s not like she’s eating that whole slice of pizza for herself.

  7. They are truly horrible people with no care for others. That poor guy.

  8. In English Jaime is Jaymeee. Her name is spelled correctly and it’s a unisex name.

  9. There are like a dozen parties after the Oscars and Globes. The main one is only for A-Listers. Kanye complained one year because he was the only person who didn’t get a plus one for the Vanity Fair Oscars party and it was “coincidentally” after he and Kim officially started dating. The other parties sometimes have anyone who is even remotely famous.

  10. Bingo!

  11. Joker Chick

    Mine would.

  12. At least it looks cold and depressing.

  13. Joker Chick

    Wait…that isn’t the same person?

  14. Can she even cry anymore? Like, can she move her face?

  15. Joker Chick

    How the fuck do you major in Spanish?

  16. I was certainly shaking with laughter at the idea that she Hulk-tore her way outta zip ties.

  17. There are things that have shaken the world, some in the last few years. Serious stuff. Horrible stuff. Scary stuff.

    A reality ho being “robbed” is not one of them… especially when the near-unanimous response was, “They faked it.”

  18. “Congratulations, you’ve given your daughter a male Hispanic name that isn’t pronounced the way you think it is, because you’re too dumb to do research. Expect her to hate you.”

  19. Joker Chick

    Several things are fishy but that’s from unprotected sex.

  20. Joker Chick

    Don’t be annoyed; they’re all gonna rot in hell and most of the elder cunts fucked their way to herpes and hep C. Dementia and surgery gone wrong will be the demise of at least 3.

  21. Oh, ok. I thought it was surgery related.

  22. Kylie has a scar on her leg from something that happened to her when she was younger, don’t remember what.

  23. https://uploads.disquscdn.c… Saw this picture of the plastic sisters. Wtf is going on with Kylie’s leg? And it’s a Golden Globes party – why are “Instagram models” even there.

  24. M from Toronto

    That was beautiful.

  25. Blanche Elizabeth Devereaux

    I beg to differ–the Sears Fall 1980 catalog IS the look.

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