Drake Admitted To Drunk-Texting Jennifer Lopez In A New Song

He has a new album already? Didn’t he just drop a concept album about the CN Tower? Drake debuted a new playlist yesterday called “More Life.” It’s got a whole bunch of new tracks and he admits to drunk-texting ex-girlfriend Jennifer Lopez in one of them. It turns out that JLo immediately changed her number after she ended things with Drizzy and his wheelchair. Ugly sweaters – out of phone and out of mind!

Via USWeekly:

The Toronto rapper, 30, kicked off his latest project with a shout-out to his ex Jennifer Lopez on the opening track, “Free Smoke.” Hinting that he doesn’t have his former flame’s current phone number, he raps, “I drunk text J.Lo / Old number, so it bounce back.”

Here’s my version [To the tune of “Hotline Bling“]: “I used to drunk text you on your cell phone/but you don’t need my love/cuz’ you on them puffy pecs now

Jenny Blocked His Cock obviously did a number on Drake, because he sampled one of her songs (via Complex) in another of his new ones, but then he replaced her (giant) ass on another one.

UsWeekly continues:

It appears Drake had Lopez, 47, on his mind throughout the recording sessions for More Life. Later in the playlist, he samples her 1999 debut single, “If You Had My Love,” on the aptly-titled “Teenage Fever.”

However, many fans were disappointed when they found out J.Lo was not among the artists featured on Drake’s new project. Shortly after going public with their romance last December, the former couple teased an unreleased collaboration while dancing at a winter wonderland-themed “prom” in Los Angeles. The song, titled “Get It Together,” did make it onto More Life, but Lopez’s vocals were replaced with those of the up-and-coming British singer Jorja Smith. (Ouch!)

JLo is currently comparing cup sizes with A-Rod in tropical locales, so don’t expect her to care. Maybe she can appease him with a guest-spot as a wheelchair rapper on that terrible “Shades of Blue” program.

Drake’s a bore but his album cover for Visions brought me back to the time I visited Toronto. Did you non-Canadians know that the tower, which is 1,500 ft. tall, has a glass floor at the very top? And you can walk around on it? And it’s the most terrifying thing you’ll ever do? I caught a case of the vapors when the Other Mr. Harvey made me gingerly tip-toe out onto it. Moms are rolling baby carriages out there while their fat children are jumping up and down on it while I’m crawling back to the edge sobbing and waiting to plunge to my death. Allison should have warned me about the terrors that await you in Canada.

You can listen to the ballad of Drizzy and JLo here.



  1. kosmikitten

    the last picture… it just cracks me up… XD does he have drake stashed in his armpit?

  2. craigypants

    These 2. They think we are buying their stunts.

  3. M from Toronto

    No, the most terrifying thing is you father “pretending” to pick you up to drop over the railing of the CN Tower, when you’re 3.
    Rot in Hell, Motherfucker.
    On topic…
    I hope this gets the kind of publicity they want, since it’s pretty obvious the weird dating fiasco didn’t!

  4. shirley_chisholm


  5. Nikitainthesection

    How do you go at the very top? That is my question.

  6. craigypants

    Yeah ok, it was a stupid pr stunt which made them both look totally ridiculous.

  7. Queen Mab of the Unseelie
  8. Queen Mab of the Unseelie


  9. Melissa Michelle Wray

    I think I’ll let these two gifs speak for me:

  10. I don’t know. Is he a man for hire? I mean he’s always in these short term relationships or on dates with famous women. Has he ever been able to maintain a romantic relationship for more than a couple months?

  11. I used to find Drake sexy, and he seemed talented, but his shitty, live performance on SNL killed it for me. He can’t sing, carry a melody and he dances/moves like he has arthritis in his knees and hips. I’m tired of posers.


  12. 🍀ℱᓰᗪᗪᒪᕮᗪᕮᕮᗪᕮᕮ🍀

    I was thinking the same thing, sheer perfection.

  13. Love how Prince mastered showing shade with his facial expressions

  14. Finally Kim shows us her true talent !! Keeping her Mouth wide open is her gift to black male celebs.

  15. Spaz de la Whoreta

    Complete and utter dork.

  16. It’s one thing to drunk text like a little bitch, but it’s a whole other thing to admit it. Aren’t you ashamed? Or you just have nothing to rap about these days?

  17. Spaz de la Whoreta

    He’s always looked like he was carrying the chunk to me. He spent too much time sitting in that wheelchair while the other kids were out playing.

  18. I swear drinking makes that damn send button about 90% bigger

  19. Spaz de la Whoreta

    Shouldn’t Drake’s name be Dreezy? I mean, the Breezy/Weezy thing would mean it should be Dreezy, but I guess Drizzy is just as stupid.

    This fucker seems like a total idiot, but he’s like an idiot savant. He posed and posed the lovesnuggle poses with JLo, and then had her lines dubbed by someone who probably cost him a song title credit and nothing ninety-nine on this album or whatever it’s called that is gonna make this dork another 20 million bucks,

  20. I’ll take the arms, the rest can go

  21. If I cover the face I’m kinda into it

  22. lol 😂 love this gif

  23. Nope.

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