Open Post: Hosted By The Human Suction Cup

Meet Jamie Keeton, aka “The Human Suction Cup.” The 47-year-old Chicagoan has a rare skin condition that makes objects stick to him. Those objects would include “bottles, cans, phones” and “pads of paper,” according to The Huffington Post. Jamie works as a sideshow artist and describes himself as “a real-life X-man-type person.” I’d much rather see this dude in the next X-movie as opposed to overrated Jennifer Lawrence all naked and blue. No thanks.

Jamie holds a Guinness World Record for “most drink cans placed on the head using air suction” (you really can do pretty much anything to get in that thing), and can pour drinks out of bottles attached to his skin.

“Everything sticks to me as long as it’s got a hard surface that can suck to me,” Keeton told The Wizard Of Odd, a YouTube channel featuring humans doing extraordinarily weird things. “Most of the time when I’m walking around, people think the cans of glue are magnetized. … That’s why I use a lot of aluminum and plastic, so none of its magnetizable.”

You can see more of his fantastic feats of sucking below. Ok, I’ll ask it. What about when he’s getting after it with someone? Do they stick to him? That could be helpful during, but after the act might be a little awkward. “No, you’re not still in me but yes, we’re still attached. Do we have to call 911?

Pic: YouTube


  1. I have that song (from the top gif) in my head now!

  2. Melvin T Pelvis

    No you don’t watch it,, no it doesn’t get more coherent? Does it get better? or no you won’t help me?

  3. Spray on abs

    I plead the fifth element because I am too young to recognize these images.

  4. Spray on abs

    Hmmm…I think my new online ID might be…you guessed it..”Tipsy Rambling”. *I hope I remember this tomorrow…*

  5. Spray on abs

    I love this song. Thanks for sharing it.

  6. No.

  7. Melvin T Pelvis

    Any Legion watchers? Does it get more coherent after the first episode?

  8. Melvin T Pelvis


  9. Thanks everyone for your replies. I know my post was long but I know everyone on here is obsessed with cats and therefore would have some good ideas. He is at his house at the moment, but I will check on him in the morning, which is only a few hours from now actually. He did seem to wink his eye when I touched one of his legs so maybe he is hurt. He was walking around so he couldn’t be that bad since I would think a cat or dog on deaths door wouldn’t even want to move, but what do I know. This is her second sweet ginger cat too, her first one disappeared years ago and I adored him too. It is frustrating because she is broke yet she keeps getting pets and they are all orange colored too. She has two useless yappers as well. Oh and this poor cat also was hit by a car a few years ago and was supposedly close to death then. They claim to love him but I am the one always looking out for him when it is raining or it is cold or whatever and giving him a snack everyday. Both my daughter and step-daughter love him too. And I was the one out in the rain trying to find him in the sewer. I would steal him but he has a chip so can’t do that and I live a few doors down so would be hard to hide him. Also, they all have serious mental health issues and can become dangerous when provoked. They are always calling the cops on themselves and usually one of them is being hauled off to a hospital for an extended stay in the psych ward. They are very nice, otherwise, but I only speak to them in a casual way and would never have one over to my home or go to theirs. They yell a lot and I hope she didn’t hit him since she started telling me this bizarre story about how the cat pissed her off last night because he woke her up at 2:30 demanding food and to be petted. I thought she was going to tell me she swatted or hit him out of frustration but she changed direction and just said he kissed her off, so maybe that is what happened to him.

  10. Melvin T Pelvis

    Yeah…. pinching kids does get old ;p

  11. Melvin T Pelvis

    Classes an option?

  12. Melvin T Pelvis


  13. Melvin T Pelvis

    the ol’ double whammy?

  14. Am I the only one who fancies this song?

  15. Melvin T Pelvis

    They chemically castrated Alan Turing because he was gay.
    Pretty sure he killed himself sometime later.
    There have been very few minds like his.
    This was a crime against the human race.
    Which really has nothing at all to do with Duggar. carry on.

  16. Unify Normal

    Another strategy is to arrange “informational” interviews with someone in a field that your interested in. The goal is to find out what that particular company or business or organization would look for regarding education, experience, etc. It’s low/no pressure since you’re not looking for a job per se, and an excellent way for you to get feedback and advice.

  17. super-ette

    My daughter’s roommate is African American, from Portland, ME. Her brother is still in Portland but wants to leave because there are few people of color there. My son goes to public school just outside of Boston. It’s very important to grow up having friends that don’t look exactly like you. The walls don’t ever have a chance to form.

  18. Melvin T Pelvis

    Son or husband?
    O wait this is a show. nm…

  19. Lefemmenikita

    The parodies on that BBC interview have begun

  20. Oh..thank you!

  21. Melvin T Pelvis

    Can I help in any way?

  22. Vita Walmart-Mess

    A friend of mine swears by Maybe that’s one place to start? You’re capable of teaching yourself anything. Hang in there.

  23. Melvin T Pelvis

    Spirit fingers / Jazz hands
    Most impressive

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