Here’s Your New Monopoly Tokens

Hasbro has been slowly ixnay-ing some of the classic Monopoly game pieces, because they haven’t been relevant since Monopoly debuted back in the 1930s. They recently asked the general public to vote on new pieces to introduce to the game. The votes are in, some pieces are out, and it would seem that people love representations of living creatures.

So, the Thimble is out, the Boot got booted, and the Wheelbarrow has been retired to the gardening shed. Now you can welcome the Rubber Ducky, the Penguin, and the T-Rex (no one voted for the Fleshjack?).

A whole SLEW of people cared enough to vote on this – 4.3 million people from over 146 countries, according to Vulture. Could board games be what finally brings us together again as a planet? If so, could Mrs. White (from the game Clue) having done it in the conservatory with the lead pipe bring peace to the Middle East, inspire Russia to stop hacking us, and deter the US government from falsely accusing hapless British people of wiretapping our insane president? Who knew?

If you’re not into the duck, the penguin or Matthew McConaughey, know that it could have been a lot worse.

If you think these new tokens are bad, at least the winners weren’t a winking emoji, a hashtag, or a clunky ’80s-style cellphone.

The Fleshjack wasn’t the only loser (in my mind) of the Great Monopoly Token Switch of 2017. A botox needle, a manbun, an enraged Uber driver, and a giant wall across the Mexican border were also considered and rejected (again, in my mind).

As long as they keep the racecar, I’m fine. I can recall childhood Monopoly games where bitches got slapped over the car. I think my little brother still has the handprint on his mug for daring to ask.

Pic: Hasbro

25 Comments

  1. I don’t mind a penguin but that looks like the idea of what a penguin looks like of someone who has never even wanted to see a penguin.

  2. GravitaLoco

    I miss the thimble.

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  4. happyfrancis

    I vote “chicken”

  5. perfect gif!

  6. pamorama_j

    Lmao. When Scrabble was new in the old days, my Dad did that with a brand new Scrabble game, except he threw it into the fire in the fireplace. My Mom had spelled a 7 letter word. The joke was on him though. They had people coming the next night to play. They were poor and money was tight, but he had to go buy another new one. Family joke for years. He was a terrible sport with a bad temper.

  7. Did they swallow all the houses & hotels too, or just the tokens?

  8. pamorama_j

    No.

  9. pamorama_j

    Hate it. It’s all crap.

  10. lol… there’s always one sibling like that! But I would have been surprised to see a tantrum coming from an adult moving a little hat across a game board, too.

  11. Famewhore-hater

    Thanks Niki! I love yours! 🙂
    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-S

  12. I’d let my children play with a Ouija Board before I’d let them play Monopoly…
    https://uploads.disquscdn.c

  13. ooh la the rollerskate!

  14. Theshrew716

    Was I the only one who liked the iron?

  15. My older sister was a tyrant and had to win every game, and it was strangely accepted by us that she would win, in advance, because she had been that way our whole lives. We still wanted to play, but she was always the Bank, had all the stations and best properties, and eventually had all our money. Then one day as an ADULT she threw a tantrum when it looked like she wouldn’t win, and my brother and I (also adults) were gobsmacked!

  16. There was a horse rearing up on its back legs, wasn’t there? Because I remember ours had a broken base and always lay down like a dead horse.

  17. The cat already arrived, earlier. 🙂

  18. I was always the puppy, but I am very happy with all the new ones! 😀

  19. Awww… your grandma was a sweetheart.

    Ha, we’d blur the rules, too, after too many damned hours at the board and being way too punchy to care.

  20. Literarylioness

    I know! My family NEVER finished games. No one was ever broke enough or rich enough to win or fall out. We also would forget the rules and kind of make them up as we went along. My grandma was too soft-hearted and would let my cousins and me land on her spaces without paying the rent. She didn’t like being a mean landlord.

  21. Nikitainthesection

    Hey Famewhore! I like your old school bowser avatar!

  22. Is that a male T-Rex?????? I’m outraged!!

  23. Thimble and Scottie Dog all the way!

    Random fact you my appreciate: I haven’t played this game in YEARS, but I can tell you that I was able to identify ALL the pieces on someone’s X-ray. That feeling of accomplishment in being able to recall your childhood from the bowels of someone else. I do not kid.

  24. One of the sweetest things about having kids is them enlisting you into play their silly board games….I went to my sister’s house this afternoon and her youngest son immediately pulled me into the playroom to play a few rounds of Battleship……when your kids lose interest in those games it is a real turning point

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