QOTD: The Long Island Medium Has Scientific Proof That Her Powers Are Real

There’s article after article on the internet that claims Theresa Caputo, The Long Con Medium, I mean, The Long Island Medium is a shameless charlatan who is carrying on the late Sylvia Browne’s legacy by taking advantage of vulnerable and grieving sadlings. The Long Island Medium now has news for the non-believers. Science has proven that she has a gift, and no, that gift isn’t conning people while pretending to speak to the ghost of their loved one (aka her assistant spouting out info they found through Google while wearing a white sheet over their body).

The Long Island Medium was on Fox & Friends (via IBT) to whore out a new book and to talk about an episode of her TLC show where a “doctor” scanned her brain while she spoke to the spirits. To scan her brain, a “doctor” put a white cap with wires coming out of it over The Long Island Medium’s head. What’s really a scientific miracle is that there’s electrodes powerful enough to see through all those layers of hairspray, gel, pomade, mousse crust, weave pieces and the family of rats that lives up in there.

Jennifer Aniston’s face twin said that the scan showed that her brain flatlines (too easy) as she kikis with the citizens of the afterlife.

“They did find that I do access a part of my brain that we typically don’t and that my brain actually goes blank. It almost like it flat lines. Like, it’s clear as I’m channeling.

I always said that my brain doesn’t work like everyone else’s. I always said since I was a young child, ‘Mom, I don’t feel right. I don’t feel like I belong. I feel different.'”

Dlisted has EXCLUSIVELY gotten a hold of The Long Island Medium’s brain scan, and she’s only half right. Her brain doesn’t go blank when she channels, but a bright green brain wave of truth does appear:

longislandmediumbrainscan

And while I may not believe in The Long Island Medium’s ghost whispering skills, I do believe in her glamour skills. Here’s Theresa Caputo looking like the epitome of sophistication from that Nancy Grace on roids hair to that completely authentic Louis Vuitton pashmina to those gorgeous faux Yeti boots.

Pics: Splash, Brain Facts

25 Comments

  1. monkeysntypewriters

    My husband and I were driving across the Southwest one time, and saw tumbleweeds–well, tumbling–in a field alongside the road. We both shrieked, “TUMBLEWEEDS!” because they seemed so implausible. I’m pretty sure I’d only ever “seen” them in Bugs Bunny cartoons. It didn’t seem possible that they could actually be real.

  2. This lying sack of shit grifter. Hope she goes the way of Sylvia Browne soon. Does she look like that on purpose or did she lose a bet.

  3. If it is, it’s a magical wig that can defy gravity. I almost wonder if this is a pic from Halloween or something, it’s too ridiculous.

  4. super-ette

    That has to be a wig, right?

  5. Apparently she gets her powers from sticking forks in toasters. Wtf is up with that hair?

  6. craigypants

    Shes selling witchdoctor rubbish. https://uploads.disquscdn.c

  7. NoseyParkerPosey

    If I looked in the mirror and that was my reflection I would not be smiling.

  8. Kathleenicorn

    hahahaa love the brainscan pic

  9. craigypants

    Nearly 15 minutes bitch.

  10. She should make a baby with the Ancient Aliens guy. It would have spectacular hair. https://uploads.disquscdn.c

  11. The face of wisdom ; )

  12. craigypants

    I’m constantly amazed how gullible people are. Your no
    Ode May Brown bitch.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.c

  13. I just remember being so disappointed in myself, that I had the sense to avoid that type in Grade 8 but not as a grown up…

  14. pushy broad

    Sadder imo, the gullible people.

  15. Marisa Ptomaine

    more outright lies

  16. Marisa Ptomaine

    unlike you

  17. That is funny and also shows how some guys have no clue that their douchebag ways are so easy to pick up on and spot a mile away.

  18. Yep. Look no further than the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Kind of amazing, if it wasn’t so scary, how Don the Con grifted his way to the White House.

  19. So, Trump hair is a thing now? Jesus.

  20. Oh god…that reminds me of the time a guy I was dating thought I was psychic. He said something that reminded me of a kid I went to school with, who was an altar boy. So I said something like, “You were the dirty altar boy who winked at girls during communion, huh?” Which was correct! He was really freaked out because he had been lapsed for years. Like he thought I had powers and started leaving astrology books around. But I just noticed a similarity and it turned out to be right.

  21. Marisa Ptomaine

    Give ’em a wallaby up the bum

  22. I will always love tumbleweed. I can’t stay focused when I see it. Takes me back to the western novels I grew up on.

    Why do they always mention Obama or Hilary? That is what toddlers do, blame somebody else for their actions or behavior.

  23. GothyMcGotha

    Did you…by any chance…know someone…whose name started with a letter in the alphabet…and breathed air? Air as in oxygen? And did that person possibly drink water at any time during life?

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