Henry Cavill Will Play Tom Cruise’s Right-Hand Man In The Next “Mission: Impossible” Movie

Too many handjob jokes, too little time.

Star of gay rumors Jeremy Renner has done two Mission: Impossible movies with Tom Cruise, and now it’s fellow star of gay rumors Henry Canvill’s turn to hear Tommy snap at him, “Bitch, you better slouch and bend those knees, because these heels can’t grow on their own.” Production on Mission: Impossible 6 was reportedly on hold, because Tommy wanted more points in his back-end (don’t we all, Tommy?) or something. Well, it looks like Tommy’s back-end is going to get those points he wanted, because production is back on and director Christopher McQuarrie is adding to the cast.

Christopher and Henry did a little Instagram stunt last night to announce that Superman is joining Tommy, Jeremy, Simon Pegg and Rebecca Ferguson in Mission: Impossible 6, which comes out on July 27, 2018. Christopher McQuarrie, who is giving me silver Heat Miser in this pic, started the little stunt by asking Henry if he wants to join the cast:

That led to this little back-and-forth in the comments (via Deadline):

Henry: How can I say no to a man with such perfect hair…..

Christopher: @henrycavill excellent. Just a few caveats: must enjoy extreme heights, high speeds, motor vehicles of all varieties (especially aircraft), practical stunts, firearms, and sporadic exposition. All good

Henry: @christophermcquarrie only if I get to fly for real.

Christopher: @henrycavill I do believe I specified practical stunts. You in?

Henry: Oh ok…..I’m in!

Christopher: @henrycavill Outstanding. Welcome aboard. Your social media account will self destruct in 5 seconds.

Variety says that Henry, and I quote, is playing ” a sort of right hand to the head of Cruise’s unit.

A RIGHT HAND TO THE HEAD OF TOM CRUISE’S UNIT?! Variety, you know what you were doing when you wrote that, and I love you for it. But why do I have a feeling that Henry Cavill’s first day of shooting is going to go like this:

Henry: Okay, I’m here to play the right hand to the head of Ethan Hunt’s unit. Where’s my gun, fanny pack, day planner and other right-hand man type things?

Tommy: Um, you moron, we hired you to be my fluffer. Variety spelled it out for you for L. Ron’s sake!

Pic: Wenn.com


  1. TommyGirl acquired that nickname during the height of the Tommy Hilfiger “TOMMY GIRL” fashion/perfume campaigns of the late 90’s-early 2000’s. It sometimes went away, but returned with a vengeance every time that bossy bitch tried to make bangs happen.

  2. He truly was an amazing actor.

  3. ihaveachiponmyshoulder

    Is Tom going to be wearing 6″ boots the whole time or what?

  4. craigypants

    We are taking over. Coudn’t do any worse.

  5. LoopyGorilla

    Hopefully Tommy will take Henry to get some ice cream at that store that doesn’t have gay people.
    and they can go to the ice cream store with tommy’s bff david miscarriage on their motorbikes with leather jackets cuz they are so butch, manly and masculine.

    Question: Looking at the picture below, who is the hongray whore who gets fisted?
    A. tommy cruise.
    B. david miscarriage.
    C. Its a trick question because they both get fisted.


  6. Marisa Ptomaine

    we need more Jack Reacharound movies

  7. This gif cracked me up!

  8. howcomebubblegum

    Hahahahaha! I wish!

  9. Polyester Poontang

    I’m sure they were just bro-ing, ho!

  10. His gums look red and inflamed in that picture too. The gum line is all over the place.

  11. wow! I just noticed Henry has tiny tiny hands!!! Just compare with Momoa’s!! o.Ô

  12. 🍀ℱᓰᗪᗪᒪᕮᗪᕮᕮᗪᕮᕮ🍀
  13. It’s a famous quote! 😜

  14. jerseygirl17

    Are you serious? For some reason I always thought you were a guy.

  15. Dion flowerboy

    I want a movie with these two and only these two. Clothing not necessary.

  16. Polyester Poontang


  17. They already exist. There’s some with his gay bro friends in a pool.

  18. Ving is as convincing a computer specialist as Denise Richards was a nuclear physicist.

  19. FunkAnarchy84 Ⓐ

    It would be better if Henry REPLACED Tommy Boy.

  20. House of Brat

    No Ving Rhames in the movie??? Sacrilege!

  21. That video was a homage / shameless ripoff of ‘The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari’.

  22. jerseygirl17

    So it’s an homage to Rob Zombie’s Living Dead Girl video?

  23. Try the Grey Stuff

    Because he would take it as an insult, which says a lot about him.

  24. Supah nurse

    This guy again? The only MI movie I liked was the one with Phillip Seymour Hoffman. I loved him.

  25. giddybeaver

    idgaf about the scientology sausage party but yeah to Rebecca Ferguson, she was kick-ass in Rogue Nation.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *