Too many handjob jokes, too little time.
Star of gay rumors Jeremy Renner has done two Mission: Impossible movies with Tom Cruise, and now it’s fellow star of gay rumors Henry Canvill’s turn to hear Tommy snap at him, “Bitch, you better slouch and bend those knees, because these heels can’t grow on their own.” Production on Mission: Impossible 6 was reportedly on hold, because Tommy wanted more points in his back-end (don’t we all, Tommy?) or something. Well, it looks like Tommy’s back-end is going to get those points he wanted, because production is back on and director Christopher McQuarrie is adding to the cast.
Christopher and Henry did a little Instagram stunt last night to announce that Superman is joining Tommy, Jeremy, Simon Pegg and Rebecca Ferguson in Mission: Impossible 6, which comes out on July 27, 2018. Christopher McQuarrie, who is giving me silver Heat Miser in this pic, started the little stunt by asking Henry if he wants to join the cast:
That led to this little back-and-forth in the comments (via Deadline):
Henry: How can I say no to a man with such perfect hair…..
Christopher: @henrycavill excellent. Just a few caveats: must enjoy extreme heights, high speeds, motor vehicles of all varieties (especially aircraft), practical stunts, firearms, and sporadic exposition. All good
Henry: @christophermcquarrie only if I get to fly for real.
Christopher: @henrycavill I do believe I specified practical stunts. You in?
Henry: Oh ok…..I’m in!
Christopher: @henrycavill Outstanding. Welcome aboard. Your social media account will self destruct in 5 seconds.
Variety says that Henry, and I quote, is playing ” a sort of right hand to the head of Cruise’s unit.“
A RIGHT HAND TO THE HEAD OF TOM CRUISE’S UNIT?! Variety, you know what you were doing when you wrote that, and I love you for it. But why do I have a feeling that Henry Cavill’s first day of shooting is going to go like this:
Henry: Okay, I’m here to play the right hand to the head of Ethan Hunt’s unit. Where’s my gun, fanny pack, day planner and other right-hand man type things?
Tommy: Um, you moron, we hired you to be my fluffer. Variety spelled it out for you for L. Ron’s sake!