Matthew Perry, who is a Canadian person, appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night, and he told what might be the most 80s Canadian schoolyard fight story this side of that time in 3rd grade when two of my classmates threw down like hockey enforcers at recess over a stolen Corey Hart cassette.
Matthew went to the same rich kid elementary school as the current Prime Minister of Canada, hot meaty slice of tourtiere Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. Justin’s dad was Prime Minister at the time (Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau) and Matthew’s mom was a press secretary to PM Trudeau.
If Matthew was a little older, he might have known it’s not a good idea to wail on a kid who is the son of the Prime Minister as well as the son of your mom’s boss. But Matthew was in 5th grade. Matthew told Jimmy Kimmel that one day while playing sports, he and a friend got jealous of Justin and beat him up, rich kid-style. Which I believe begins by popping the collars on their polo shirts and asking their butlers to hold their lacrosse stick.
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) March 16, 2017
This would normally be where I’d yell “REMATCH!!“, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. For one, Justin is too busy hanging out with his newest fan club member Ivanka Trump to schedule a fight. Second, because grown up Justin Trudeau is buff and knows his way around a pair of boxing gloves. Justin could lay Matthew’s ass down in about 10 seconds. Not to mention that it’s a fight Matthew could never possibly win. If Justin’s fists don’t knock him out, one look into his dreamy soul-melting eyes will.
— Erika (@kanjymyhoorbru) February 15, 2017
Here’s more of Matthew (with special appearance by Katie Holmes) at the premiere of The Kennedys After Camelot in Los Angeles last night.