Artistic Genius Kanye West Meant To Keep The Fashion People Waiting At His Show

Not since a smallpox hospital burned down in the 1800s has Roosevelt Island seen a bigger disaster than the disaster that went down on Wednesday afternoon. Kanye West showed his latest collection of zombie rags and off-brand Capezio leotards for Yeezy, and it was a hot shit puddle of a mess from start to finish. Some models fainted, others nearly killed their ankles while trying to walk in the busted shoes and some fashion editors left after waiting more than an hour for it to start. Kanye’s collaborator and performance artist Vanessa Beecroft, who is a crazy mess in her own right, says that their shit show started 2 hours late, because it was meant to start 2 hours late, thankyouverymuch.

At the House of Peroni Fashion Week pop-up in NYC yesterday, Page Six asked Vanessa why the show started so late and why didn’t anyone from the Yeezy team help the poor models who fainted from the heat. Vanessa took a tip from her collaborator by reaching deep up into her ass to pull out two explantations. Vanessa says that the models didn’t pass out from a combination of overheating and dehydration. They passed out from the emotional stress of it all!

“That’s a production issue not related to me … I’m not sure why some people fainted yesterday, but in my case, when it has happened in my performances, it was the level of emotional stress … It wasn’t physical. There was food and water. The situation is so intense and people are looking at you and you are standing. Yesterday, I don’t know if it was because they were overwhelmed. I’m not sure … I was bothered yesterday in a sense that I’m sorry for what’s happening, but at the same time, I wouldn’t know how to prevent it if it was emotional.”

Miss Lady Kanye might be halfway right. I mean, if I was slowly baking in a black leotard while standing under the sun for hours, I would be stressed out and emotionally fucked-up over thinking about how if I die, I’ll forever be known as the human who sacrificed his life for Kanye’s fashion show. I can hear my mom after the cops broke the news to her, “WHAT?! He actually volunteered to be in a Kanye fashion show?!”

As for why the show started 2 hours late, Vanessa says that it was all part of Kanye’s genius master plan. Kanye, who was also apparently sad inside over the lack of Kartrashians, wanted the audience to be in a meditative zone for the show featuring innovative fashions you can get at Walmart’s shapewear section.

“Everyone was in a state of meditation … The long wait before, I believe it was planned because [West] wanted the audience to get into this state of having to observe and having to stay.”

Judging by what I read, Kanye’s trick didn’t work, unless, “Fuck this show, fuck Kanye, fuck everything,” is a meditative chant I don’t know of.

And I am not a master artistic puppeteer like Kanye is, but I am 100% sure that if you want someone to stay, you don’t make them sit in the sun for hours. If Kanye really wanted the audience to get into a patient state of “observation,” he needed to give them a reason to stay. You know, like give them tons of money, or tell them that for the finale of the show, he and the Kartrashians will get into a spaceship that will leave the planet and never come back. Stuff like that!

And here’s Kim looking like a fool as usual in NYC yesterday:

Pics: Wenn.com







25 Comments

  1. It’s more than likely accurate. Kanye IS a giant anal blow hole.

  2. I hope I’m nowhere near right but yeah, that’s what I imagine.

  3. Emily_loves_vino

    that was supposed to read as “Autistic Genius Kanye West” no?

    I’d be fully on board if we finally knew he was autistic because if he isn’t (throws hands up in despair).

  4. Dear lord, I wish he would fall of the face of the earth already. Some wise dlister mentioned Alexander McQueen. True genuis. True Artist. Simply the best. The fact that this charlatan gets to run in the circle of gods is sacrilege. Fuck you, Kanye. Jackass.

  5. Good…hate the blister zip-lock baggie boots..WTF

  6. How do I say this nicely.

    Dear Kim and Kanye,

    You’re tacky and we hate you.

    Sincerely,

    All lifeforms both discovered and yet to be discovered in all universes discovered and yet to be discovered.

  7. This is what happens when everyone around you is as delusional, stupid and narcissistic as you are Mr West. He is nothing but a laughing stock the world over – fucking loser!

  8. i think she thinks she’s khaleesi from game of thrones.

  9. what’s with the ski trousers? and the invisible vest nastiness? where is this ‘on trend’ anywhere apart from the american whore story?

  10. Lefemmenikita

    I want to see a vid of the nuns kicking her ass

  11. Harvey Glocke "I'm a Lawyer"!

    Lazyee made fools of all of them..

  12. Bobbysue Fontaine de la Tour

    I scooped this story two days ago. (See my comment to the post herein regarding Mr. Kardashian signing Tyga to his label.) I can now reveal my source: The voices in my head told me. I only then discovered they sometimes have been known to moonlight for the Genuis Bar located in Mr. Kardashian’s head whenever his regular auditory advisers have had all they can stands they just can’t stands no more.

  13. She’s into “producing” tv shows these days.

  14. Dr. Cornelia J. Dogbarker, PhD

    Oh really, you’re a fashion designer too? Oh ok if you say so ha ha. You don’t know shit.

  15. I must find this video!!

  16. Jeebus…her hooves!!

  17. Rodmilla De Ghent

    LONG LIVE THE K I N G. I have an entire pinterest dedicated to Savage Beauty. lol that’s important to me.

  18. Rodmilla De Ghent

    right of passage

  19. these? nope………

  20. and ‘talent’

  21. Who thinks these clothes are ‘nice’ or pretty? They totally suck. Not helped by being worn by ugly peado turtle and his pocketbook/hooker. The plastic shoes, the white doggy doo doo colored oversize straight-jacket worked with a chicken tikka colored leotard? ????

    Bring me some Valentino, or even Banana Republic. this sucks longtime.

  22. what are these nasty boots all about? skin infection waiting to happen in that sweaty funk

  23. looks like kanye ‘protege’ designa panda or whatever he’s called i.e. untalented skumbag just got lifted by the cops for pointing a gun at someone.

    http://www.breitbart.com/big-h

  24. michelin man chic

  25. sometimes it takes a while to take a shit!!

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