Kanye West Was As Modest And Humble As Ever At The VMAs

When it was reported that MTV was giving Kanye West 4 minutes to do whatever he wanted at the VMAs, I figured that he’d come on stage completely naked, sprawl his legs out in front of a three-way mirror and jack off to his own reflection with one hand while finger blasting his asshole with the other as he screamed his own name. And I was right! Sort of. Kanye did that in speech form.

Kanye walked out on stage and he rambled out a stream of messiness about calling Taylor Swift, the violence in Chicago, oppression, comparing himself to Steve Jobs and Walt Disney and his wife being a “G” (and in this case “g” stands for GiganticFameWhore). He also shouted out Amber Rose. It was like his Twitter come-to-life, and it was also like the kind of coked-up Ted Talk that makes you tell yourself to never watch a Ted Talk again. Nobody loves hearing Kanye speak (I could stop right there and it’d still be a fact) more than Kanye loves hearing Kanye speak:

And after mess, he played his video for Fade for starring Teyana Taylor. This video is Flashdance wrapped in Janet Jackson’s Pleasure Principle and covered with a thin layer of Cremaster and two thick drops of Jocelyn Wildenstein’s cat saliva.

That terrifying “Thundercat on human” shit is the reason why my eyes will stay wide open tonight.

And here’s Kanye with Kim who wore a dress that made her look like she’s got a 3-foot long vagina (“So what you’re saying is that her vagina looked smaller than usual.” – your ass)

Pics: Splash


  1. littletubesoftoothpaste

    the wallowing is awful all of them – just wallowing in self love…uuuh! He put Ray J in the video?! And ppl cheer and laugh including his phony ass wife. SMH.

  2. Detective Latoya's Monocle



  3. Sometimes I type too fast and my iPad can’t keep up. Oh well. She’s gross. Very gross. Hah

  4. Detective Latoya's Monocle

    Hahaha I’z sowweez. I was kidding.

    I knew what you meant… I think?

  5. Oh shit. Her greeeezy hair (but any body part would suffice)

  6. Aspergers?

  7. It just doesn’t work for him. He’s not Ninja out of Die Antwoord ya know?

  8. Janis De Frank Handley

    With poopy pants too! The way he walks….

  9. Janis De Frank Handley

    If you think he’s a genius you must be operating with a very low intelligence yourself. Get out in the world, read a few books written by real geniuses. If you can’t handle that, try listening to some true musical geniuses, like Marvin Gaye, Tupac, even Michael Jackson would’ve made Kanye look like a clown when he was just a kid. He and his phony wife will be gone soon enough, because there is no substance to them, and that’s what happens to those who fake their way through a career. Never fails!

  10. Janis De Frank Handley

    The dress makes her look even more dumpy than usual too, and he is such a moron, I can’t believe anyone would want to give him a platform to talk about himself. These two self absorbed aglutton hogs deserve each other. Can’t wait to see them both on the back burner. Until then, I won’t watch anything they are on.

  11. Why didn’t the crowd boo him? This idiot just needs to go away.

  12. special snowflake


  13. MMMM—-that sounds really nice, Spray. The weather sounds good, too 😉

  14. Naturally…his mouth knows no time restraints.

  15. Detective Latoya's Monocle

    Wash her whaaaa?!

  16. Detective Latoya's Monocle


    Not even close. I spent 10 minutes tryn’a pronounce this word… after spending 5 minutes typing it out.

    I give up. Gonna head back to bed.

  17. Goober was a secret savant:)

  18. That’s way harsh coming from Goober Pyle.

  19. I want what you’re smoking.

  20. Just an extremely low IQ.

  21. usernamestaken

    He reminds me of a 4 year old who just realized he can make his mother crazy by following her around the house, tugging on her clothes and talking non-stop about nothing. In the still, he even looks like one.

  22. usernamestaken

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Bitch got too much botox over her left eye….actually too much on top of too much in general.

  23. This is cray cray

    Ha ha ! I noticed that too. Now ,she has a wonky eye. jajajjajjajaja

  24. svetlanabanana

    Kanye West made me believe that there is such a thing as excessive self-esteem

  25. We get days in August and September that scream Fall. It might have to do with the angle of the sun or the coastal fog creeping in to cool things down.
    I love autumn. It’s my favorite time of year. Tourists leave and the kids are back in school…the grape harvest ramps up and I get a wine boners.

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