Ray J: The Penis That Unleashed The Kardashians On Us Got Married

Here in Boston, the oldsters still harbor a kernel of resentment towards poor Bill Buckner. He’s the former Red Sox first baseman that let a ball go between his legs on October 25, 1986. That was during Game 6 of the World Series. Two days later, the New York Mets beat the Sox in Game 7, and Red Sox Nation began literally years of hanging Billy in burning effigy in its mind. Dude got death threats! Supposedly he’s been forgiven since then (we finally won the World Series in 2004 after waiting 86 years), but bring his name up and the lips of old people here in the Hub sometimes curl. Why am I talking about sportsball on Dlisted of all places? BECAUSE RAY J IS THE BILL BUCKNER OF OUR TIMES. That dude boned a lethargic Kim Kardashian in a sex tape, her mother leaked it was leaked, and now we live on Planet Kartrashian. I can’t be the only one with a “Fuck You, Ray J” tat, right? Anyway, he married his Love & Hip-Hop: Hollywood co-star Princess Love last night. The couple, who have been shown to have had a rather contentious relationship in the past, wanted and reportedly got a “dream wedding” and “a royal, elegant and enchanting reception fit for a princess and prince” according to their wedding planners. So he didn’t push her into the chocolate fountain?

“I just want her to have the time of her life and remember it as the best day in the world,” Ray J told PEOPLE ahead of the wedding. “Even when I wasn’t with her, I told my friends ‘She the one, she the one.’ It was just something about how I felt when she was around me.”

“He’s the only person I’ve ever been with that I couldn’t see myself without,” adds Princess Love, who wore a beaded Lazaro ball-gown for the ceremony.

People reports that legally certified “obnoxious asshole” Ray J and Princess Love (is that her legal name?) were married at the Vibiana in LA. The Game was one of Ray’s groomsmen, and Ray’s sister Moesha (Brandy) was a bridesmaid. Singer Anthony Hamilton serenaded them as they walked down the aisle, and Brandy was set to sing “At Last” for the first dance at their reception. No word on whether Ray J planned on doing some private serenading of his own later by anointing his bride with the golden love that launched a 1000 celebrity famewhore nightmares back in 2003.

The bride sported the 8-carat halo diamond Ray J gave her when they got engaged on a “private tarmac” in front of their family and friends back in December. Their wedding will reportedly be featured on the next season of Love & Hip: We Got Married For The Show Hollywood. Expect their divorce to be highlighted on the season after that. I’m not hating; it’s just that past reality show storylines usually indicate future ones.



  1. He will pay in hell.

  2. That shit in his mouth looks like a tiny potato ūüėÄ

  3. Someone needs to cut off his member for unleashing the Kardashians on the world.

  4. usernamestaken

    Look at him holding the ring out…..oh fuck, I can’t stop laughing.

  5. It will chase me in nightmares :0

  6. as a hateful Phillies fan…I applaud this behavior

  7. Fremdschämen

    You are WAAAAAY overthinking a dead raccoon and people’s weird desire to leave crap on its rotting corpse.

  8. Vanity Fair had an article awhile back blaming O.J. Simpson for fame whoreitis. The Jenner/Kardashians, Faye Resnick, etc.

  9. Ohh! I get it now!

  10. Why do they bring him/her flowers and shit in the first place? It’s just a stranger racoon ūüėÄ

  11. Fremdschämen

    Because if you don’t put the gifts on the body of road kill, someone will come along and clean it up eventually. Random gifts to a dead animal or bug also won’t make any damn sense without the body, too. Hell, it barely makes sense WITH the body.

  12. Immodest Goddess

    That last sentence was just beautiful. So much snark wrapped and deep fried in politeness!

  13. Immodest Goddess


  14. Immodest Goddess

    Ugly, useless fuckboy.

  15. You would hope maturity set in. Neither is particularly talented so they need to leave that life and move to a nice town somewhere where he will continue to receive some generous residuals from ‘that’ tape. You know his mama wanted that prenup to protect that coin.

  16. Douchebag with big dick marries empty headed…model? Actress? Whatever? Fame whore? PRINCESS??? WTF? I mean, WTF?? Princess LOVE?? You deserve him.

  17. Ewwwww!

  18. Well per the bf , she did ass to mouth on the tape, so not sure why she would feel embarrassed by some pee and have it edited out.

  19. Kim’s OG nose. Precious!

  20. Isn’t Simone cowell and American idol responsible for seacrest

  21. Ray j always skeeved me out. He just come across like that pervert uncle all the kids stay away from but your mom force u too be nice to cuz it’s her brother, u know he to scared to try something cuz the family would kill him, but u can tell by the way he look at u, he thinking it.

  22. TiredofthisCrap

    Naw Karrueche is prettier.

  23. TiredofthisCrap

    She was a stripper.

  24. fk ray j, fk ryan seacrest for making the kardashians happen.

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