Kanye West Is Demanding That Apple Buy Tidal



Anti-thinking advocate Kanye West is impatient for Apple to hurry up and buy his pal Jay-Z’s music streaming service Tidal. Apple and Beyonce’s husband have reportedly been going back and forth about the potential purchase since last month, according to the Wall Street Journal. Kummy Kakes’ koat karrier feels that by taking their time to think about it (he’s not big on thought process), Apple is withholding music from “the kids.” He might also secretly feel that Tidal is a sinking ship and Apple might be the life raft in which he can join Kathy Bates and Rose’s stuck-up mom to escape watery business death.

As reported by Vulture, Yeezus began his latest Twitter complaint barrage yesterday by noting that Apple’s hesitancy has resulted in a “Tidal Apple beef” that is “fucking up the music game.” As long as I can I still find “Doctor Jones” by Aqua, “Jellyhead” by Crush, and “Tonight Is What It Means To Be Young” off the Streets of Fire soundtrack on iTunes, I personally feel that the music game is unfucked. He also asked Apple’s current boss Tim Cook to put aside some time to Skype with Yeezy and other important people so they can come up with an action plan, unpack their concerns, find out where the disconnect is, touch base, and do other business activities you do together.

He then mentioned dicks and his concerns about the passage of time and the inevitability of death. For a guy who hates to think, he does a lot of it!

In closing, Kanye admonished Apple for thinking they’re as good as they were when the deceased Steve Jobs was head-turtleneck-in-charge.

Bossy! Does Jay owe him money or something? You knew this wasn’t going to go well after that bizarre announcement ceremony when all the multi-millionaires stood around awkwardly and wondered what Deadmau5 looked like under his robo-Mickey headcomputer.

Check out Kanye West’s unusual (for him) myriad of facial emotions while announcing his upcoming Saint Pablo tour in NYC yesterday in the gallery below.

Pics: Splash








25 Comments

  1. that’s funny. Bipolar huh? You would recognize it anywhere since you and your therapist have been working so hard on it. Good for you kid. Good luck with that.

  2. On the internet, anyway 🙂

  3. Im simply going to repeat pink. ” kayne west is a cunt, and you can quote me”

  4. Lmao

  5. I don’t see why they would need to.
    They have enough big names already linked with Apple Music, is Jay Z relevant anymore? Deadmau5 fans will continue to buy his stuff no matter where he ends up and the Kanye Kult will follow him over a cliff, so Apple would be better to just sit it out and wait and then buy out the artists rather than the business as a whole, like Prince’s library etc.

  6. I agree J Harvey. I think Jay must owe Kanye money the way he’s carrying on about it.
    Apple don’t have to do shit Mr West. It’s a business deal, not music for the kids. Get it right.

  7. Why would he think any business deals are done over Twitter?

  8. I can’t think of an instance where a major corporate merger hasn’t been moved forward rapidly by tweets from a third party of questionable sanity.

  9. Gigi La Moore

    Isis wouldn’t even want this guy.

  10. Your avie name sounds familiar. If you are that guy from Project Runway, I love your work.

  11. Only thing JayZ was ever savvy at marketing was crack….

  12. Fukn brilliant!

  13. Michael Girouard

    You think anyone can get a word in edgewise? Or would try?

  14. Michael Girouard

    You’re not entirely wrong, but it’s the streaming pile that won’t stop tweeting. Someone should tell him that punctuation and grammar are a couple of the things that distinguish human beings from animals. Or turds.

  15. I pity the fool…

  16. You’re probably right. I’m just curious to see what will happen.

  17. Fair enough.

  18. Who knows? They may be conspiring together. Kim would receive months, possibly years of publicity.
    Photos of Kim with Nori and Saint, slow strolling, over the loss of her dear, deranged husband. Nonstop stories about how life is so hard now that she’s a wealthy, single mom with a booming emoji empire. So brave, so strong.

  19. I think I speak for us all on this one. Go fuck yourself, Kanye.

  20. Who would have the most to gain? Kim or Jay-Z?

  21. Melissa Michelle Wray

    This will never not be funny.

  22. Melissa Michelle Wray

    Another day, another Kanye bitchfit.
    Where’s Amber Rose when you need her?

  23. Just picturing bespectacled Tim Cook as a dick-swinger. That is all.

  24. https://m.popkey.co/9bdd8e/4Vq

    go jump off a cliff already kanye.

  25. This self entitled bitch.
    http://i.giphy.com/fAGln5qp01U

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*