“And that where Channing put skin stick. In the lady cave. Channing do good sex.“…is what I like to think sexy caveman stripper doofus Channing Tatum is explaining in the picture above. Oh, who am I kidding? If he’s saying anything, it’s probably: “I TOTALLY HIT THAT BEEEEEOTCH! HAHAHAHAHA.”
If you have ever wondered what sex is like between Channing Tatum and his wife Jenna Dewan Tatum, you’re in luck. Channing got all Taxicab Confessions during a Facebook Live interview with Cosmopolitan (via UsWeekly) about their sex life, and it’s capital S-E-X-Y. Channing says that sometimes they do it fast. Sometimes they do it slow. And sometimes he just lays there and lets her do all the work. Ooooh, someone open a window; it just got very hot in here.
“I just lay there. I just lay down, sometimes I nap. Yeah, she’s really athletic. We get down! We truly have all different kinds of sex. Sometimes it’s like, ‘Look, you gotta get this done. I gotta go to work.’ And that’s a real thing. To me, that’s us being completely open…Then you have full-on, just completely totally connected otherworldly connections. We communicate very well. We don’t hate fuck each other. That’s not what we do.”
Hold up. Who said anything about hate fucking??? That interview took a really sharp turn. That doesn’t exactly seem like Cosmo sex tip material. Then again, I haven’t read Cosmo in a couple of years. But I think I would have remembered passing a cover boasting “23 NEW Ways to Hate Fuck Your Man” in the grocery store.
So there you go. Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan Tatum have normal people sex. That’s fine. But what I really want to know more about are those “otherworldly connections.” Like, are we talking ‘fucking so good you go forward in time and get a thumbs-up from your own ghost’ kind of otherworldly? Or is it more like a ‘humping yourselves into an alternate universe that you can only return from via a three-way with Dr. Sam Beckett’ kind of thing. I need to know these things, Channing! Have you had Quantum Leap sex or not?